Crossdressing To Survive An Apocalypse

"Is it maybe.... Qian's father?"

  "Why do you say so?"

"I have known him for a long time.. Qian's father never shows any kind of love to his child... but with you and Yue, he is different. He loves you both. I.. don't know..Maybe it's just my guess. Aren't you curious?"

Qian took a deep breath, listening to this. The door was slightly ajar. He peaked in.

Fan Xui was frowning slightly, but Tian was nonchalant.

'Its…it's not true… it's just… my dad is not good at expressing it feelings. That's why.' He mentally told himself.

But his mind was going miles, thinking of all the possibilities.

Fan Xui has always been good at perceiving things out of ordinary. His intuition was always right…

'He might be wrong. No, he MUST be wrong… my dad and yue's mum...the age difference is too vast.' He shook it off/

'But don't you want to know…'

A small voice said in his mind.

He wanted to know. He wanted to know why his father treated him like trash but treated Yue and Tian like his children.

Hurriedly, Qian closed the door to the patient's ward and walked over to his father's study. The door was open and only his assistant was inside.

"Oh, my father called for you. It's better to get going fast,"

"Yes, I'll get going then," the new assistant kindly bowed before leaving.

Right after he stepped out the door, Qian hurriedly closed it and dashed over to the study table.

He rummaged through all the documents on it. He could only find everything related to the barrack.

"See… he has nothing here…." he mumbled, leaning on the table. Something dug into his knees. It was one lock on the drawer.

This was the only drawer that his father kept completely locked up.

No one was allowed to look in.

Qian's hands shook as he touched the worn-out wooden drawer.

As a child, he was curious as to what was in there.

He used to imagine wildly of the amazing things inside.

But now his heart started to fear the possibility that he would find his father's dirty secrets.

"I can't doubt the old man like that.. he is not like that.." he chuckled dryly. With a small bobby pin, he tried his best to pry open the small lock.

Tian had taught him that right after getting here. She said. 'if you don't have the strength you must use your wit to escape. Yue can break doors and walls, but you can't so learn to pick locks.' Were her exact words.

"Thank you Tian. I put your teachings to good use today," he mumbled.

After a few minutes of fiddling, the lock opened. The forbidden drawer was finally opened.

"Should I do this? My Old man will get super pissed…." He sat down on the ground, contemplating what to do.

There was a small part in him that did not want to know the secrets hidden in here.

He knew… he knew that if he found out everything, he will hate his father even more…

"My Old man is not a bad person. I'm sure there are just military secrets in here.." he bravely opened the drawer.

Inside there were three files. Two were badly worn out and torn in the corners, but one of them was relatively new.

He pulled them out carefully and placed them on the desk.

The oldest document looked like it was on the verge of tearing apart. He carefully opened it and read its content.

It was a birth certificate.

"Why does the old man have my birth certificate ….." he froze, reading the name on it.

"Tian Ai," it was written boldly, attached with a baby photo.

The corners of the photo were worn out, showing that someone was touching it regularly.

Qian closed his eyes tightly. "Yue… Yue said his father asked my old man to search for Tian. That's why.. t-that's why…"

The next document was pretty apparent. It was a paternity test.

Tears started rolling down his eyes uncontrollably. "No.. no… no....it's not right… it's not…"

The door opened right the ad his father walked in with a walking stick..

"Finally decided to crawl back, ah brat. Come sit, I'll make some tea. These generals ate rolling my head from corner to corner. God, it's a hassle." He mumbled softly, sitting on the sofa facing away from the study table.

"...."

"What are you still doing there? Come here," He glanced back.

Qian stood ether with his head lowered, glancing at a few documents.

"You can't understand something in there? Bring it here. Ill help."

"I u—understand it all not….. I do…" he raised his head sobbing silently. "I understand it all…."

"Brat are you crying?! Did your boyfriend break up with you?! Come here I'll talk to him. Don't cry for such simple things."

"SHUT UP! Just… just shut up…" Qian slammed the table loudly again and again. "Just… don't talk…"

"Qian.. what is…" Wen finally looked at the documents. "Did you open my drawer? I told you not to…"

"Yeah, so that I won't find your fucking dirty ass secret. Ha-ha… HAHAHA you are hilarious you know…" Qian picked the document up and waved it around. "It's all for this…. mum died because of this…"

His father's expression visibly shifted. "no Qian. You…"

"I don't understand?" he tossed it at his face. "My mother fucking waited for you years and years. You never even glanced at her. All because of what?! Because you fell in love with your best friend's wife! Had a… child with her?"

Qian shook his head. It was hilarious…

Thinking back to all the times his mum used to sit by the window waiting for him to come back.

Waiting and waiting and waiting….

That's all she ever did….

"Your dad is busy.." she used to say with a sad smile.

"It's hilarious… it still is…"

"My mum…. She died of heartbreak…. She dies because you did not love her back. Give her your time. But she waited… waited for you every day….While you were pining over someone else's woman! A younger woman! You...…"

"Qian, it's not like that. I loved your mum so very much. I did.. I still do…please don't think otherwise...."

A hand tremblingly touched his shoulders.

"DON'T TOUCHE ME!"  he flung his hand away. "Don't ever touch me….you…. you disgust me so much…"

He glanced at his father's tears. They did not mean anything now.

All he saw was a heartless man standing in front of him, shedding useless tears.

"From this day forth, you.. and I… we don't have anything. You lost the right to call yourself my father the day mum died…." Qian tossed the documents away and stormed out without another word.

Wen knelt to the ground picking up all the documents.. "It's not like that… it's not…."