Cultivation Chat Group (Web Novel)

Chapter 1167: Senior White, how long is your hair?

Translator: GodBrandy Editor: Kurisu

Venerable White’s kind of clone was the kind of clones that Song Shuhang dreamt of having. Not only could the clone write a script in the place of its main body, it could also chat in place of its main body, and also help its main body to cope with disasters… One’s desire was everything that was needed, as the clone technique would do the rest.

If he could learn this clone technique from Senior White, it would be excellent.

As such, Song Shuhang couldn’t help but write a small note which asked, [Senior White, will you ever impart your clone technique to others?]

Venerable White replied, [Do you want to learn it?]

Song Shuhang nodded desperately, and wanted to reply, “Yes, yes, yes!”

…Who wouldn’t want such a clone technique? However, just as Shuhang was about to send a reply, Venerable White quickly added, [Sorry, but it’s an innate skill… I won’t be able to teach it to you.]

Song Shuhang raised his head to look at the sky.

In the world of cultivation, innate skills were among the most buggy and unreasonable things.

Venerable White said, [However, if I have the time in the future, I’ll try to research and create a similar clone technique. Although its function would likely be a simplified version, it should still work just fine. Would you want it?]

Song Shuhang hurriedly replied, [Yes, yes, yes!]

Venerable White responded, [Well, I’ll try doing some research on it when I have time. By the way, can I have something to eat?]

Song Shuhang looked through his Inner World and his spatial magical instrument, and found that he was actually already out of food.

[Senior White, just wait a while. After this ceremony here is over, I’ll get you something delicious to eat,] Song Shuhang said—speaking of eating, he immediately thought of ‘Sage Monarch Melon Eater’. However, he immediately threw this thought out of his head. He was not the Great Northern Emperor, and he didn’t want to split Sage Monarch Melon Eater into several pots and make him into stew.

Venerable White replied, [Alright, then I’ll wait until my show of divinity ends before coming out to eat. My main body is already transcending the final part of the tribulation. I’ll finish writing the script for the ‘Profound Sage Speech’ first. By the way… do you want me to specifically talk about something in my speech? At that time, I will prioritize talking about things that would help the fellow daoists in the group, and talk about things that everyone wants to hear.]

Song Shuhang replied, [I do indeed want to learn about something, but no need to talk about it in your Profound Sage Speech. I want to try learning about your ‘disposable flying sword’. I’ll be happy as long as I can launch a flying sword.]

Venerable White saiu, [A disposable flying sword requires one to have quite a bit of knowledge on formations, runes, and the chemistry of the weapons. I will give you some special supplementary classes when I have time. Can you ask the other fellow daoists in the group what they want me to talk about?]

Song Shuhang replied, [I’ll go and ask.]

Afterward, he opened the ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’ once again.

When he opened it, he found that the group was very lively.

He scrolled through the messages, and found that the liveliness was brought about by True Monarch Yellow Mountain showing up.

True Monarch Yellow Mountain had finally changed his group nickname back—he was no longer ‘Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire’.

True Monarch Yellow Mountain said, “@Everyone, the autumnal equinox which is on the 23rd of this month is a good day. As such, I’ve decided to let Doudou get married on that day. If you’re free, I hope to see you at the Yellow Mountain on that day. I truly hope that there can be a lively atmosphere as Doudou gets married off.”

Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “The autumnal equinox… I just checked the date. I should be able to spare the time to come.”

Fairy Lychee: “＠True Monarch Yellow Mountain, Senior, didn’t you want to avoid having a marriage on a 23rd?”

True Monarch Yellow Mountain calmly said, “It’s because Doudou’s wedding is special. He’ll be getting married as the bride, so there are some things that are reversed. Rest assured, I looked for an expert divinator, and that day is definitely suitable for Doudou to get married.”

Fairy Lychee: “Alright, Senior Yellow Mountain, we believe you. It seems that I can be at ease, so I will definitely come.”

Frice Reckless Mad Saber: “Does Doudou know about this? I remember that Song Shuhang previously mentioned that Doudou’s partner was not a female dog, but a male dog?”

‘Heaven Shrouding Hook’ Zhou Li: “Wahahaha, I have cooperated very well with Fellow Daoist Phoenix Slayer on this matter. We have done our best to isolate Doudou from the Internet and make him think that the partner that he is going to marry is a female dog.”

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “Nyahaha, now I’m really looking forward to Doudou having his red veil lifted up and seeing what his expression will be like when he sees that the one he’s marrying is a male dog.”

Dongfang Snow: “Wait! ＠True Monarch Yellow Mountain, Senior Yellow Mountain, you won’t really be so mean, right? To actually marry Doudou off to some male dog? Doudou is so cute, this isn’t fitting for him. And… Fairy Lychee, do you not object to this at all?”

Fairy Dongfang Snow really liked Doudou’s cuteness—she especially liked Doudou’s literary talent, with the ‘Stupid Yellow Mountain’s Song’ even being her favorite song. As such, she was the only fellow daoist speaking up for Doudou.

Fairy Lychee: “I have chosen to trust Senior Yellow Mountain.”

Song Shuhang: “…”

Shuhang had with him some extremely hot news. It appeared that True Monarch Yellow Mountain and Fairy Fleeting Life’s eldest brother, who was originally supposed to get married to Doudou, had plotted to swindle Fairy Fleeting Life into marrying Doudou. Song Shuhang suspected that when Doudou was going to get married, that eldest brother would probably be replaced by Fairy Fleeting Life, and the one who Doudou was going to marry would become a girl.

However, there was still the possibility of a plot twist taking place—mainly because Fairy Fleeting Life still had a monster fox disciple who loved her deeply. And, it was possible that this monster fox would replace Fairy Fleeting Life in being the one to get married to Doudou. If this were to take place, Doudou’s partner would become a guy once again.

So, how was Doudou’s wedding really going to play out? Was it going to be one of these paths? Or could there even be a more complex plot twist that would take place? Even Song Shuhang was not certain.

True Monarch Yellow Mountain: “About Doudou’s groom, everyone will naturally know when the wedding starts. At that time, as long as everyone can be happy and Doudou gets married, then everything will be fine. Once again, on the 23rd of this month, Doudou will be getting married. Please inform the others about this. In addition, the date of the event will be displayed on the invitation. I’ll be getting back to the specifics of planning the wedding first, so it seems that I’ll be busy for a while.”

After True Monarch finished speaking, he went offline.

The topic in the Nine Provinces Number One Group drifted to Doudou’s wedding.

Everyone began to discuss what gifts would be better to give, whether they should attend the wedding together, and how they were going to send the gifts.

For some reason, Song Shuhang always got the feeling that he had entered some fake cultivation group chat.

After letting out a sigh, Song Shuhang sent a message in the group.

Song ‘Really Awesome This Time’ Shuhang: “Seniors, Senior White told me just now that he will be done with his tribulation soon, and that he’s currently preparing his Profound Sage Speech. He told me to ask everyone if you would like him to discuss anything specific during his Profound Sage Speech.”

Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “So Senior White is finally going to finish transcending his tribulation. Honestly speaking, I feel bad for the tribulation. Also, little friend Shuhang, what’s with your broken name, I didn’t pay attention to it before.”

“I don’t know what daoist name to use recently. If I were to use ‘Tyrannical Song’, some people end up saying ‘Daddy Song’, which makes me feel really old.” Song Shuhang sighed.

Young Master Phoenix Slayer said, “Change it back to Tyrannical Saber Song One, that’s the daoist name we’re most familiar with. If you really don’t want that, you could probably just use the other seven daoist names in rotation.”

Song Shuhang: “I’ve already given one of the seven daoist names out to someone else. I gave Virtuous Buddhist Sabersman to Little Cai. This daoist name actually suits her really well. Therefore, I can’t go on that seven-day rotation.”

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “So what if you gave out ‘Virtuous Buddhist Sabersman’, didn’t you come back with the Sage Name ‘Tyrannical Song’? It just so happens that you have seven once again, you can continue the rotation.”

Song Shuhang: “…” F*ck, how did I not notice this myself?

Wait, the topic has changed again.

I was asking what you wanted Senior White to talk about in his speech!

Fairy Lychee: “Actually, I would rather listen to Venerable White talk about how he maintains his long hair. Have you all noticed that Senior White’s long hair seems to be really well cared for? Sometimes, his long hair would beautifully flow with the wind. When this happens, I simply can’t stop myself from wanting to take a photo.”

Dongfang Snow: “How long is Senior White’s hair? It reaches his waist, right?”

Vice-Island Master Tian Tianwei: “Little friend Shuhang, please help us ask Senior White about this later, ask him to explain how to maintain such long hair so well and how to make it dance so beautifully in the wind.”

Song Shuhang: “…”

[Little White, when your hair reaches your waist, will you marry me?]

If he was really stupid enough to ask Venerable White this question, perhaps he would end up dead.

“I refuse! This question is literally seeking death, I’m not Senior Thrice Reckless,” Song Shuhang said.

Frice Reckless Mad Saber: “Little friend Shuhang, when did I offend you? Stop implicating this innocent man.”

Northern River’s Loose Cultivator sighed. “Actually, Senior White doesn’t need to say anything in his ‘Profound Sage Speech’ at all. He could just stand still, and all the practitioners in the universe would be satisfied.”

I’m that little white crane at the edge of the Earth’s End: “What I was most worried about is actually happening. After this, how many rivals am I going to have among all the practitioners in the universe? My heart feels stifled just from thinking about it…”

Medicine Master sent a voice message. “You guys are hopeless. Little friend Shuhang, don’t ask them anymore, just tell Senior White to talk about whatever he wants. Otherwise, even if you continued asking until tomorrow, the topic would still be something unfitting.”

Any topic related to Venerable White would never return to the main topic.

Song Shuhang felt tired.

He wrote a note to Senior White. [Senior White, just talk about whatever you want, the seniors in the group don’t have any suggestions.]

He was trying his best to maintain the image of the seniors in the group.

Senior White replied, [Alright, I guess I’ll just write a script to my liking for the ‘Profound Sage Speech’. What about you, do you want me to discuss anything besides the disposable flying sword?]

Song Shuhang thought about it for a while, and really couldn’t think of anything he wanted to know about. [Nope, Senior White, anything is fine.]

After thinking about it, he suddenly remembered the question raised by Fairy Dongfang Snow in the group—how long was Senior White’s long hair?

Song Shuhang’s heart started to itch. He tried to remember where Senior White’s hair reached, but he felt that there was some deviation between his memory of it and reality.

Should I ask?

As long as it doesn’t involve the ‘marriage’ part, it should be fine, right?

Song Shuhang couldn’t stop himself from writing: [Senior White, Fairy Dongfang Snow suddenly wanted to ask a question. How long’s your hair right now?]

He threw the blame to someone else right away—if something went wrong, at the very least the consequences would not fall on him.

I’m so f*cking smart!