Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Chapter 110 - 109 - Journey Back Home

"So...why exactly are you here?"

"...you've been asking that non-stop for the past two days, shut up already, you grumpy sack of maggot-infested rotten cum!"

"You bitch...!" He growled in irritation.

Misen and Selesa had been bickering almost non-stop ever since we set off, it was getting pretty annoying.

"Would you two just give it a rest!?" I snapped, "Why couldn't at least one of you die during the infiltration?"

I was getting kinda impatient to get back home, and as a result, I was pretty irritable right now myself. We were currently camping out for the night, it was the third night since we set off, and we were inside the carriage, having parked it inside a cave we came across.

"You all certainly seem to get along," Remarked Clari with a smile.

"...is that sarcasm?" I sighed with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, not at all...it's just that people who argue without restraint are usually close."

"Huh...I think I get what you're saying, but that definitely doesn't apply here...we all hate each other," I replied immediately with a shake of my head.

"Exactly, couldn't have said it better myself," Agreed Misen.

"I-I don't know about that, wouldn't go that far, 'hate' is kind of a strong word...," Disagreed Selesa awkwardly.

"Actually, it is not strong enough, if you ask me," Shrugged Misen.

"Uh...h-hey, you don't hate me, do you, Kuro?"

"Hm, lemme think...if you were to die, I guess I probably wouldn't celebrate, but I'd likely feel indifferent. So, yeah, I guess I don't totally hate you," I answered, after thinking it over for a while.

"...you had to put that much thought into it? Wait, you're saying there are people whose deaths you'd celebrate? That's kinda messed up...," She trailed off.

"Is it?"

"It totally is! What, do you actually have people in your life whose deaths you'd celebrate?"

"Mhm. Let's see...Sicario, now that I've found out that he's the reason I got tortured and died, Arg Lehosa was another, but not anymore since I killed him...then there's this guy," I remarked, nodding at Misen.

"Tch, the feeling is mutual, you little shit," He growled in reply.

So, yeah, this was what the past couple of days had been like. Running into monsters was almost a relief, because it gave us a break from each other. The monster territories in the snowy area were still all mixed up, no surprise there. Actually, it might have gotten even worse, the appearances of the monsters were even more random than before.

But they were no real threat, as annoying as Misen and Selesa could be, they were both powerful so dealing with monsters was no trouble whatsoever. And if we ran into a larger group, I could always just use Vampire Mode to blow them away.

"This is quite comforting," Said Aurich with a slight chuckle.

"That's a strange choice of word...sure you didn't mean discomforting?" I replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Compared to the past year or so, something as simple and mundane as casual arguments are...comforting. Strange, is it not?" He responded.

On that note, he was in surprisingly good condition mentally-speaking, considering everything that'd happened...of course, there were some obvious signs of trauma and PTSD, but despite that, his sanity was more or less intact. His mental resilience was seriously impressive.

Anyway, not long after that, I went to sleep, it was kinda early, but I'd rather not stay awake any longer, and sleeping could help pass the time...

...

...

The next day, after a few hours of traveling, we passed by the Vampire Forbidden Zone, meaning that we were about halfway back. Misen was driving, and the rest of us were inside of the carriage.

"Ooh, I've never seen a Forbidden Zone before...can we go take a closer look?" Inquired Selesa eagerly.

"Are you stupid or something? If we stop here for long, we'll just get swarmed by hordes of monsters. Forget it," I replied irritably.

"You don't have to be such a jerk about it, you-."

"I swear, if I hear one more of your overly-specific and disgusting insults, I'll fry your eyes till they pop," I warned her with a death glare.

"Y-you don't s-scare me...much," She mumbled quietly, before shrinking back and sulking in the corner of the carriage.

Idiot...

Things went smoothly for a while, when suddenly, the carriage came to a screeching halt.

"Hey, hurry up and get out here!" Yelled Misen, a sense of urgency in his voice.

Selesa and I quickly got out of the carriage, to see...

...what am I looking at?

There were a lot of monsters, definitely over a hundred, but that wasn't the part that really caught my attention...

Lesser Cyclops and Icemen were riding Ice Wyverns, Snow Serpents were slithering across the bodies of Abominable Snowmen like armor, and Snow Imps were riding on the backs of Devilpenguins...I had seen monsters working together before, but not like this.

The Icemen began firing their icicle needles down at us, as the Wyverns they were riding blasted out their ice breath to enhance the fired projectiles. Selesa swung her arms up and outwards, unleashing a burst of wind to counter it. She couldn't fully cancel it out though, a few of the needles remaining intact. She then widened her stance, planted her feet, and fired blasts of Propulsion from her hands in order to blow away the remaining needles, though she missed a few, a couple of them grazing her cheek and shoulder.

The Devilpenguins then began rapidly sliding across the snow towards us, with the Imps on their backs clutching old daggers or long, sharp icicles like spears. At the same time, some of the Lesser Cylcops began dropping down from the Wyverns they were riding, while the Wyverns and Icemen began winding up to fire a second wave.

"Dude, hurry up and transform! You gotta take out the monsters in the air!" Urged Selesa, using her wind to keep the monsters from damaging the carriage or injuring the horses.

I already knew that, and I'd just been about to transform, but now that she told me to do it, I felt annoyed and was tempted to not do it...but that'd be suicide, so I don't have a choice.

"I suppose I'll deal with the ones on the ground," Sighed Misen, charging up his Lightning Crystal dagger.

I activated Vampire Mode, flying up after I finished my transformation. I drew out my sword and used Stream on it, red electricity enveloping and extending around my blade, more than doubling both its length and width.

"Hey, would you hurry up!?" Snapped Misen, as the Wyverns and Icemen began another wave of attacks from above.

I ignored him and poured as much of my Mana into the blade as I possibly could without losing control of the Stream technique, before swinging it across in the direction of the Wyverns, unleashing all the lightning in the blade towards them.

There were around ten of them...my slash fried and killed seven of them, though the remaining three were badly hurt. The Icemen were all wiped out. I zipped towards the remaining Wyverns, slashed off the first one's head as I shot past it, flying straight towards the second one and swinging straight down, cutting it in half with a vertical slash. I then threw the blade with a flick of my wrist at the remaining one, it went spinning like a boomerang and slashed through the monster's neck, before I caught the handle as it came spinning back to me.

I then looked down to see how the other two were doing. Looks like they were mowing down the weaker monsters with no problem, but there were over twenty Abominable Snowmen, those wouldn't be too easy for them to take down. I suppose I could cut down some of them. I unleashed several thin streaks and branches of lightning from my fingers, zapping all the Snowmen, stunning them. They weren't my target though...the Snow Serpents that were wrapping and slithering themselves around the bodies of the large monsters fell off and disappeared into dust, electrocuted to death.

Those things were annoying, might as well take them out ahead of time, we didn't have as much antidote on us as we should've had. I flew across till I was straight above one of them, sheathed my sword and began charging up lightning in my right fist.

After about four seconds of charging...

I folded in my wings to stop flying and let myself drop down. I shifted my body position so that my head was facing downwards and my feet were pointing up, drawing back my right fist. The moment I got within ten meters of it, I swiftly spread out my wings and flapped once as hard as I could, increasing my momentum as I slammed my fist onto the top of the Snowman's head.

Scarlet Shocker Punch!

My fist shattered its skull like an egg, smashed through its chest and abdomen, before my punch crashed down onto the ground, kicking up a massive cloud of snow, creating a little crater upon impact and sending out a snowy shockwave, as the monster disappeared into dust.

I shot towards another one, bursting through its chest and out its back. I then went up a few meters and flew above another, grabbing its head firmly and flapping my wings at an angle to rapidly rotate myself, twisting and ripping its head off with a crack and crunch.

I've got just over twenty seconds left, more than enough time...

There were still nineteen Abominable Snowman left. I rapidly zipped around, firing light sparks of lightning at them to agitate them, before swiftly flying up. The ones I'd zapped had gathered right under me, having being provoked by me. I had missed three of them, but I'm sure the other two can handle them just fine.

I then pointed my hands up and began forming a ball of lightning as fast as I could. I had about seventeen seconds left...

Red streaks of lightning began crackling all around me, as the sphere of lightning above me expanded rapidly. I channeled as much Mana as I could, the mass of red electricity growing to the size of a...uhh...nothing's coming to mind, so I'll just say that it was bigger than I was right now. And I had pooled over half my Mana into it. This was gonna pack some serious force. What should I call it?

Eh, I'll go with whatever comes to mind first, I hadn't used that approach to naming since the Lightning Incineration Cannon.

Here's goes, uh...

Scarlet Lightning Nova!

I swung my hands down with a second left in my transformation, flinging the massive ball of lightning down at the monsters. They began to run away, but it was way too late...they can't outrun lightning.

The impact fried the monsters in an instant, before sending out an enormous shockwave, severely stunning the three that I hadn't been able to provoke as well. After the dust cleared, the aftermath of my attack was clear to see, as I glided down to the ground, reverting my body to its natural state after I landed.

A space of about a radius of fifty meters was absolutely scorched, the snow covering that spot was gone, and the ground was smoking and also more than a little warm, with sparks crackling all over it. Cool, looks like all the weaker monsters were gone. There were still the three Abominable Snowmen left, but they were keeping their distance from me, though they weren't running away.

Wait, where are the others? The horses looked kinda spooked, their manes were frizzy and standing up...oops, guess they'd gotten a bit zapped by the electric shockwave. Good thing they didn't run away.

Suddenly, the snow a few meters in front of them burst up, and two figures emerged. Selesa and Misen...did the shockwave knock them down? Both of them had their hair all frizzy and standing up, Misen irritably attempting to flatten his hair to no avail. The white stripes in his hair were standing up more than his black hair, it looked pretty comical.

He didn't say anything though, as both of them headed for one each of the remaining Snowmen. I've got about a quarter of my Mana left after that last burst...I'll leave the rest to them. I left about ten seconds of my Vampire Mode form unused, so if we run into more monsters sooner than expected, I'd be ready to transform without having to wait for the cooldown time.

Misen shot towards the one he was targeting, as his dagger began glowing brighter and brighter. He sprang up as it swung its arm down at him, he landed on its elbow and jumped up at its face, jamming his dagger into its left eye, just fast enough to pierce through before the monster could close its eyelid. All the charged up lightning in the dagger instantly transferred into the monster's body, frying its insides and killing it.

Selesa used Flight to shoot towards another one after equipping her Wolverine-blades gloves, with the occasional burst of Propulsion to boost her momentum. She was going higher and higher, and as she got within a few meters of the monsters, shifted her trajectory downwards, further increasing her momentum. It swiped up at her as she neared it, she fired off twisting blasts of Propulsion from her elbows to drive her fists forward faster and with a bit of spin, the blades on her right fist piercing through the top of its head and the left blades stabbing through its face at eye-level.

That left one more. Selesa swung her arms across while wrapping wind around her blades, sending out scything slashes of wind at the last one, while Misen fired a steady stream of lightning at it, simultaneously charging up his dagger while walking towards the monster. Their attacks weren't having too much of an impact, but they were keeping it from moving around too much.

Selesa flew towards it and swung a couple of slashes at the back of its neck as she shot past it. The monster let out a roar, and in response, Misen immediately flung his dagger up at it, the blade flying into its mouth. It lodged into the roof of its mouth and fried it, killing it.

That takes care of that.

"Let's keep moving, the sooner we get further away from the Forbidden Zone, the better. It's not like we can't defeat any monsters we encounter, but I'd rather avoid fighting if possible," I remarked, as the two of them walked back over.

"Agreed, and I shall continue driving," Volunteered Misen.

He had been doing most of the driving after Selesa had been the initial driver but began whining after a couple of hours, he volunteered to take over. I'm assuming he was doing so because, in his mind, it beat the alternative of sitting in the back and arguing with Selesa.

"Hey, Kuro...could you heal me? The first Abominable Snowman I killed kinda broke my foot before I killed it," She requested with a sheepish, and pained, expression, still hovering above ground using Flight.

Oh right, before she stabbed the monster's face, it swiped its hand at her, guess it must have clipped her foot.

"Alright, fine...let's get this over with," I sighed, entering Soul-Eater Mode.

She flew over to me, and loosened the top of her armor, pulling it down way more than necessary and revealing an eye-full of cleavage.

"Okay, now sink your teeth into my neck, daddy- AHHHH! Ow, ow, ow, owwwww!" She began with a seductive voice, before yelping as I grabbed her broken foot and twisted it.

"First of all, you're older than me, you perverted idiot...and second, annoy me again and next time, I won't heal you even if you're bleeding out. Got that, you fifty-plus year-old hag?" I growled, before pulling her arm and biting her shoulder, healing her injury as fast as I could.

I let go once I was done, raising an eyebrow as I noticed her sulky expression.

"D-don't call me a hag...I'm not r-really a fifty-plus old woman!...am I?"

Huh, guess she was more insecure about that than I thought...

Anyway, with that done, we continued moving forward, making our way to the Rustlands.

"Huh, I wonder if the gun would have been effective against the Abominable Snowmen?" Wondered Selesa curiously.

She sure recovered quickly.

"Who knows? It's a moot point, we don't have any bullets left," I pointed out with a yawn.

"Yeah, I know, I was just-! Ugh, forget it. Guess we should have stolen more ammo, huh? Hey, how was your infiltration experience, by the way?"

"Hm? You mean like how it was for me mentally?"

"Mhm."

"Uh, let's see...it was kinda nostalgic and thrilling at times, and pretty stressful at other times. How about you? You looked kinda traumatized when I saw you at the halfway point."

"Yeah...it was definitely pretty rough. I had a couple of my nails ripped off and got a hole in left foot courtesy of Lehosa, a dinosaur ate my fucking left pinkie finger, and I had to torture, experiment on and kill so many people in order to maintain my cover...all that definitely took its toll," She sighed, a troubled look in her eyes as she held up her four-fingered left hand.

"You, uh...don't have to talk about it if you've got PTSD over it or whatever. Honestly, their whole scientific approach to this un-scientific world is a major problem, who knows how advanced they'll be if we leave them be for a couple of years or so."

"Is this world really that un-scientific though, besides the whole, you know, magic thing."

"For starters, it's a much smaller planet than Earth, but the gravity feels the same, and then there's the monsters, they don't bleed and they disappear into dust when they die, but they don't feel hollow or anything when you hit them. But yeah, other than that, the laws of physics are more or less the same, I guess."

"Well, when you put it that way..."

With that, the conversation trailed off, and a silence enveloped the carriage. Aurich and Clari were asleep, they were both pretty physically weak so they rested a lot, especially Aurich, unsurprisingly.

I'm so bored and restless, I had definitely become a lot more impatient than I used to be, but I didn't care.

...I wanna get back home already!

...

...

The next couple of days went relatively smoothly...only in terms of monster encounters though. Tensions were high in the carriage, I ended up riding on the roof of the carriage to escape from the constant bickering.

And then, finally, after what felt like an eternity of irritating traveling...the north gate of the Rustlands came into view. I'm...I'm finally almost home...

...fuck...YEAH!

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