Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Chapter 136 - 135 - Tainted Bloodline

"Oh, it's you, princess. Wait, so then you must be...," I remarked, turning to the other one, "...the asshole prince, am I right?"

"Tch, vulgar plebian."

Yup, I was right. More importantly...had they escaped the Vampires? That was pretty impressive.

"Right, so I'm sure you've got a lot to say, but for now, let's get you away from this crowd and healed up, princess. As for you, dickwad, you can tag along if you want to, but feel free not to."

Unfortunately, he tagged along. I made the crowd get out of the way and let the carriage go inside. Fortunately, I had brought a few of my Call spells with me, so I contacted Erhtaph and let him know what was going on after healing the princess and the Adventurer who'd been driving the carriage. I told Persia to go home since I doubted I'd be able to hold myself back if the asshole prince decided to insult her.

"Thank you, I feel much better," Said the princess with a smile, moving her healed arm with a sigh of relief.

"This is disgraceful, a filthy heathen placing his disgusting mouth on royal flesh-," Growled Prince Aguil disapprovingly.

I mean, I didn't have a healing spell on me since I'd never use one, so I didn't have much of a choice...

"That is enough, Aguil. None of that matters anymore, not that it ever did matter in the first place."

"Sister, how could you say such a thing-!?"

"Don't you ever get tired of being so angry all the time? It looks stressful," I interrupted with a sigh.

"Do not speak to me, filth!"

Man, I want to kill this guy. Keep it together for now, maybe he'll be useful as cannon fodder against the Vampires. Anyway, about an hour later, I was at the Ragiu mansion with the two Silvland royals, Erhtaph, Aurich and another of the Rustlands' royal representatives. Huh, it never really clicked before, but I just realized that Princess Agatha Silvland was actually a couple of years older than Aurich Goldway, who was only a few years older than I was.

Selesa and Les showed up too, since they were Silvland Adventurers and had also escaped from the Vampires. Prince Aguil was glaring at Selesa with a look of disgust...oh, right, apparently the radical religious fanatics of Silvland couldn't stand the existence of Reincarnators since their presence defies their religion, which played a big part in Selesa effectively moving to the Rustlands. Fuo wasn't here, apparently she'd gone out to train somewhere and no one had a way to contact her.

"Now, then, let us get straight down to business," Suggested Erhtaph, looking at the princess who nodded in reply.

"Wait, isn't anyone from Bronztan showing up?" I inquired curiously.

"Yes, well, I did invite the queen to join us, but...she refused once she found out that the majority of those who would be present in this meeting were going to be male. The princess did volunteer to come in the queen's stead, but the queen then stepped in and refused to let her do so. Instead, we shall provide them with the details of what we discuss in this meeting," Explained Erhtaph with a hint of exasperation in his eyes.

Well, I already knew from experience that the Bronztan higher ups were stressful to deal with, and I'd spoken to them collectively for less than half an hour...Erhtaph was in charge of spreading information right now, so he had to coordinate between the Guild, the royals, the Bronztan reps, and now the Silvland reps too. I didn't envy his position, that's for sure.

"Indeed, we have found Bronztan's leadership rather taxing to deal with in the past as well," Nodded the princess sympathetically, before adding, "However, in this situation, we cannot let that set us back."

"Agreed. So, let's begin. Princess, I do not wish to dredge up any trauma, but would you mind explaining to us what you saw and how you escaped?" Asked Erhtaph.

"No need for any concern, I am perfectly fine. As for what happened that day..."

She started explaining her side of the story. Right as the Vampires attacked Silvland, a handful of them that included Lazarus made a beeline for the castle, where they ended up killing several of the royal representatives, along with the king and other royals. However, a small group of Adventurers were tasked with getting the prince and princess out of the country and to safety.

They had a hidden passage that went underground from the castle and led out to the outside of the south gate, which they used to make their escape. But as they emerged, a couple of Vampires were by the gates, where it had looked like a fight had taken place. There, they spotted a corpse with a head of orange, appearing to be Naro.

Save for one, all the Adventurers guarding the royal siblings stayed back to hold off the two Vampires they encountered, and they came across a carriage partially hidden by a tree, which they used to make their escape. Since the Vampires had caught them by surprise, the princess had been on the receiving end of a slash, which explained her injured arm.

"Oh, the carriage we left behind, huh," Chimed in Selesa.

"Do not speak, you godforsaken blasphemer!"

A dark look appeared in Selesa's eyes, before she turned to the prince with an exaggeratedly sweet smile...

"You know, your highness, I've always wanted to say this to you, but I never could before...but now, I don't think I'll get in any trouble, so...go fuck yourself, you rotten narrow-minded cum-guzzling pus-filled-ballsack with way too many anger issues of a dumbass prince! Oh, and your religion is bullshit and God doesn't exist. Ahem, sorry about that, everyone...let's get back to the matter at hand."

"You...! Why, you filthy-...!"

"Shut up, Aguil. A few nasty words is the least that you deserve. You know what, fuck it, I'm dropping the act...so, yeah, I'm a Reincarnator too. Had to keep that bit of info to myself since the dumbass radicals in Silvland would probably try and have me killed if I made that public," Said the princess, casually dropping a sudden bombshell on us.

...the first thing that came to mind was that she was a much better actress that the Bronztan princess. And a lot more level-headed too.

"N-no, sister...surely y-you jest, that cannot be...our holy bloodline cannot possibly be tainted in such a-!"

"Zip it, you obnoxious little shit. Gahh, and you were such a sweet little kid at one point too, but you just had to get all uber-religious, didn't you? Face it, God doesn't exist, at least not the God you believe in, so your whole life has been a lie, deal with it."

Fuck...she isn't mincing words is she. The asshole prince was in a dazed shock right now.

"Are you serious, your highness? You're a Reincarnator too?" Asked Selesa with a look of surprise.

"Just call me Agatha, I've always hated the formalities, Selesa. Ugh, I asked to be reincarnated as a princess because I thought it'd be awesome, but man, has it been a letdown. I ended up in a country that was halfway made up of crazy people, and there were so many tedious things to do...feels good to talk and act somewhat normally after so long!"

"F-filthy Reincarnators...this i-is a travesty, it cannot be allowed to stand...yes, you must all die, just like that orange-haired fool! Yes, I bet his death was painful and meaningless, just as he and all you blasphemers deserv-!"

Bastard, I've heard enough out of you...! Before I could move, he suddenly stopped talking, as two figures shot towards him, one with a blade of wind hovering above his throat, and the other with a water drill positioned above his heart. Selesa and Les...they both had furious expressions on their faces, and I could sense their immense bloodlust...they were struggling to keep themselves from skewering him.

"You really should know when to stop talking...your highness," Warned Les coldly, a venomous edge in his tone, as he increased the rotation speed of his water drill threateningly.

"Another word out of you, and I'll fucking kill you, you hear me?" Selesa added in a dangerously calm voice, her shoulders trembling with rage.

"Perhaps we should all calm down! Might I remind you all that we are in a battle for our lives and freedom here? I understand your frustrations, but we cannot ignore the current situation. Princess, if I may ask you to continue...," Aurich spoke up with a loud clap of his hands, breaking the silence.

The Jeule siblings reluctantly retracted their attacks and stepped away from the prince, who was staring at the ground with fury. Okay, this guy is a ticking time bomb, and when he inevitably explodes, it was going to be a big problem, I do not feel comfortable leaving him be. I'll bring it up at the end of the meeting.

"Oh, uh, right...sorry, I guess it was my fault that we went off topic. Now, where was I...?"

As it turned out, she was pretty much done with her recap anyway. After they came across the carriage that Selesa and her group had left behind, the remaining Adventurer drove them to the Rustlands. To their surprise, they encountered no monsters at all.

"Oh, that's right...the Vampires brought some of the monsters into Silvland, I saw some Snow Imps and Devilpenguins when the smashed the gates in, and a few other monsters as well. I didn't see any Wyverns or Abominable Snowmen, though," Chimed in Les.

"Well, it's possible that they didn't just attack the south gate, some of them might have gone around to the east and west gates. But they won't be able to do that if and when they attack here, since we'll be expecting it and they won't have the element of surprise,"I pointed out, before adding, "Plus, we have our own Vampire detector, so we can avoid being caught off-guard."

"Oh, wait, I saw a bunch of monsters outside, and yeah, they did head around for the east and west," Suddenly recalled Selesa.

"You've got a way to detect Vampires?" Asked the princess with a look of surprise.

"Well, sort of...," I replied, before explaining the whole situation with Fuo and Atticus.

"Huh, that's pretty convenient. Sweet, that'll be super helpful," Said the princess with a nod.

The discussion went on for a while longer, before wrapping up as they concluded the meeting. That left one matter to discuss...

"Now that we're all up to speed on the situation...what do we do with this guy?" I spoke up, nodding at Aguil.

"What do you mean?" Asked the princess curiously.

"Well, he's clearly got anger issues and is an illogical, narrow-minded religious fanatic...so, personally speaking, I'd feel a lot more comfortable if he wasn't allowed to roam free. I mean, he did try to attack a kid the last time he was here," I pointed out.

"I do not see the problem, it is my righteous duty to strike down filthy heathens-."

"My point exactly. I'm not suggesting we kill him or anything, but maybe keep him locked up till this whole thing blows over?" I suggested tentatively.

I'd honestly feel a lot better if he was out of the picture, but if I bluntly suggested killing him, there's a good chance they'd turn down my suggestion...better play it smart.

"Hm, I don't know about that...," Muttered Erhtaph skeptically, before turning to the princess, "I think it would be best for you to make the final decision regarding this matter."

"Well, that's a lot of pressure...but I do get what you mean, Kuro, my brother isn't exactly the most sane person in the world," She agreed with a sigh.

"Sister, why are you-...n-no, you are not my sister...you...you are an imposter...yes, that must be it, a filthy so-called Reincarnator posing as holy royalty...this is unacceptable, our sacred bloodline has been tainted...you cannot be allowed to live...yes, I must take this duty upon myself and-."

Holy crap, he really is crazy.

"Yikes-...okay, I've made up my mind, and I suggest that-...no, in fact, I INSIST that you lock him up."

With that, the decision was made...the asshole prince would be locked up indefinitely, with a more permanent decision to be made after this battle against the Vampires was over. And so, I decided to head back home. Most of the Adventurers had been temporarily shifted into inns, motels, apartments and other available rooms in the north side of the Rustlands, but I turned it down since I could easily just teleport back and forth from my place to the north.

All the teleportation booths were closed since they were usually run by non-combatants, but I had Az make me some teleportation spells to make up for that. I'll probably have to move up north about a day or two before the Vampires get here, but until then, I saw no harm in continuing to stay at home. I made it back to my place, where Persia was waiting along with Mika.

"Hey, Bro! Hope you're doing well!" Greeted Mika, walking up to me with a grin.

"Hey, kid, what's up?" I replied with a smile, patting her on the head.

"Kurooo, could you talk some sense into her? She wants to fight the Vampires," Called out Persia, lazing on the couch.

"Don't be a snitch, Sis!"

"I'm not-...wait, who taught you to say that that?"

"Rai did...he said 'snitches get stitches', but I didn't really know what that meant, so he explained it-," She replied innocently.

Okay, so that's not exactly a bad word or anything, but it was a strange thing to teach a twelve year old...Rai, you idiot.

"Well, setting that aside...what's this about fighting the Vampires?" I inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"O-oh, um...see, it's like this, I think I'm stronger than some Adventurers now, so I should be able to help, right?" She asked hopefully.

It was true, she was stronger than most Adventurers, especially the ones ranked below A. Even so...

"No way. You are strong, I'll give you that, but you're also just twelve. You're not even old enough to apply to the Adventurer Academy yet, and you only just developed your Anima recently. And it's good to know your own strength, but don't get overconfident, that's really dangerous. If you end up overestimating yourself, you'll put too much pressure on your own expectations of what you can do, and as a result, you could cripple your own confidence when you fail to live up to your own expectations. There's no need to be so impatient, I'm sure you'll be grabbing everyone's attention with your abilities in a few years, I know that sounds like a long time but it'll pass by in the blink of an eye. Well, I don't want to lecture you too much, so I'll end it there. Anyway, my point is...you're not going to be at the front lines, you'll be in the south along with your parents."

"But...but I don't want to just hide and wait, that'll be torture!" She protested in dismay.

"I never said anything about hiding...," I replied, before adding, "Think about it, one or two Vampires may slip past the front unnoticed, in which case, we'll need someone as a last line of defense at the south."

"He's right, and besides, you'll have plenty of opportunities in the future to show off what you're capable of, so cheer up!" Added Persia encouragingly.

"...fine, but I still think I'd be more useful in the north," Grumbled Mika, her shoulders slumping a bit.

Maybe so, but I wasn't willing to take that risk. What kind of a mentor would knowingly let their apprentice be at risk of getting killed when it could be avoided? Oh, right, my old mentor wouldn't think twice about that...but I wasn't him, and I won't become him. After all, I planned to kill him.

"Kuro, you're getting a call," Said Persia, her ears twitching in the direction of our room.

Oh, yeah, I could hear a faint buzzing coming from in there. Wonder who it could be? I had most of my important Call spells on me, including the ones linked to Erhtaph and the headmaster, so it couldn't be either of them. I headed to our room and opened the door, walking over to my desk and picking up the card that was being contacted.

Oh, it's Fuo...I only got a pair of Call spells to contact her a few days ago, so I kinda forgot that I had it. Yeah, given how important her role in this situation was, I should probably keep this Spell Card on me from now on.

"Yeah, hello-?"

"Finally, you answered! What the hell took so long, huh?"

"...I didn't take that long-."

"Forget about that, it's not important! About an hour ago, Atticus sensed them moving, so I came rushing back. In case you didn't hear me, the Vampires have begun moving again!"

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