Chapter 0145
“Hopefully Noah can get him out of his shell” I mumble, handing him a cupcake.
I round the island. Taking one of the barstools, I exhale in relief that I was off my feet. I dig
into one of the
cupcake. My mind completely empty.
“I wanted to apologize” Calvin says after a while.
“For what?”
“Coming off as rude the other day.”
I
Waving my hands dismissively, I face him. “In your defence, I was being too extra, so
don’t worry about it”
Talking about that day reminds me of the pain I saw in his eyes. Right now he has done a
good job of
trying to hide it.
Others may assume he’s okay, but I can tell he is not. I recognize the struggle in his soul
because I usually
go through the same thing.
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It’s easy for someone who’s been hurt to see the pain others are trying to hide. Especially
if it’s the same
type of pain that you yourself are experiencing.
“So what do you do for a living?” He asks, probably trying to make small talk.
“I’m a teacher, but I’m on leave for the next few months”
I had thought about going back, but I decided against it. Even though I was bored being
home alone, I knew I needed this time to myself. Not only because of the pregnancy, but
also because of my mental
state.
“So you got together with Rowan? Noah is his doppelgänger. It’s so uncanny”
At that I snort. “Everyone in this damn city knows what happened with Rowan. I didn’t get
with him. It was
a drunk night gone wrong”
I sometimes curse that night when I think of how my life would have been different if it
wasn’t for my obsession. Then I remember that if it wasn’t for that night, then I wouldn’t
have Noah. In the end I’m left
wishing it didn’t happen, but thankful because I got someone precious from it.
“What happened?” Cal asks curiously.
clump up. Feeling myself start to sweat. “That’s a story for another day. Right now I don’t
want to relieve
I haven’t heard from Rowan since the day he showed up at my appointment which was
three days ago.
I also haven’t gotten any surprise visits from Emma demanding I stay away from her man.
I think Rowan is probably too busy trying to do damage control with Emma and for that I
am grateful.
I didn’t want him around me because when he is, he confuses things. His recent behavior
is messing with my head and I’m tired of trying to figure him out,
“What about you? Where’s your wife” he was the same age as Emma so I assume he’s
married.
“I don’t have a wife”
“Okay…where’s Gunner’s mom?”
I see pure undulated pain flash in his eyes. The kind of pain that isn’t yours, but you still
feel it all the way to your soul. My heart aches for him, because I know how such pain can
be consuming…
“S–she’s not in the picture” he stammers in a broken voice. A voice filled with pain and a
bit of anger. 2
Fuck. I feel the need to comfort him, but I am not sure it will be welcomed.
“I’m so sorry to hear that” I whisper feeling terrible for asking because I drenched up his
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I can’t imagine losing a spouse. I can’t imagine living the life you imagined alone knowing
the love of your
life isn’t there with you.
Calvin looks like the kind of man who loves deeply. If you love deeply then the loss is also
just as deep.
The loss becomes all consuming.
Now I know where his pain originates from. He wasn’t hurt by someone. He lost someone
he deeply loves.
He breathes out. Trying to once again bury his pain. “It’s okay. She hasn’t been in the
picture for a while
and I’m slowly learning to live with it”
I grab his hand and squeeze. Giving him the comfort he clearly needs.
Changing the subject into something lighter, I ask him if he would help me plant my
garden again since he
didn’t send anyone to fix what Rex’destroyed.
After talking to him, I realize why Gunner is withdrawn. Losing a parent at such a young
age isn’t easy and some children never recover from it.
I didn’t know them well, but right there and then I promise myself that I will be there for
them. I was going to help them.
We all need happiness and joy in our lives and from the looks of it, Calvin and Gunner
haven’t had it in a