FFF-Class Trashero

You Are an Elementary School Student

Boss K, who was urged and pressed, revealed it in detail as I requested. But he wasn’t cooperative from the beginning. If he were willing to cooperate sincerely, he would have revealed it when we met before. Boss K didn’t budge even when I held his 4th and 5th lumbar vertebrae hostage.

But…

“The First Hero was my friend. He caused a lot of trouble when he ran away from home in the end, but aren’t all men originally loyal? Haha! Right, but…my daughter’s future is more important than my friends. My daughter is getting old…kugh?! Anyway, it’s been a while.”

Boss K’s eyes were sincere as he spoke playfully while clutching his stomach after receiving another blow from his daughter. They were the eyes of a father who cared about his child. As a result of putting loyalty and love on the scale, it leaned toward love.

“There are a lot of elf men around, aren’t there?”

This was a city where elves lived. Although it wasn’t as huge as the Elf Kingdom of the Fantasy Continent, it was full of elves everywhere. Wasn’t there a good-looking elf man among them?

Elf K answered with a pouty face.

“Compared to the hero, they’re all maggots.”

“…Elf K. Did you also get the same kind of marriage-phobia from your father?”

“I was just speaking objectively. There is no Elf stronger than me on this continent. Including the ex-Elf King, which I regret.”

Elf K declared so confidently.

I decided to take a look at her ability, which I had inadvertently skipped over.

▷ Race: Chaos Elf

▷ Level: 999+

▷ Job: Shaman (Beauty → Strength↑)

▷ Skills: Agility Z Chaos Z Destruction MAX Charm MAX Five Senses SS…

▷ Status: Shy, Magic sword, Magic bullet

Her combat power increased remarkably. Two transcendental realms! As I remembered Elf K’s previous stats, I could tell she had worked hard for the last 40 years. After all, it used to be like this in the past.

▷ Race: Chaos Elf

▷ Level: 999+

▷ Job: Knight (Loyalty → Indomitable↑)

▷ Skill: Agility SSS Five Senses SS Charm SS Indomitable SS Swordsmanship SS…

▷ Condition: Good

I appreciated her change quite a bit. Usually, most elves didn’t grow over the years. Few races wasted their eternal youth and longevity as much as the elves did. Boss K was a prime example of that.

▷ Race: Grand Elf

▷ Level: 999+

▷ Job: Shaman (Blessing = Spirit↑)

▷ Skill: Spirit SSS Archery SS Oblivion SS Blessing SS Patience SS…

▷ Status: Happy

His ability had stayed the same over the years! Just looking at how he couldn’t move his eyes away from Saint H’s chest while having an important conversation that would determine his daughter’s future revealed his normal lifestyle. Rather, it was amazing that he had maintained his skills so far.

“Okay. Nothing is free in this world. But I’m busy, so I can’t spare you much time.”

“That kind of sincerity is enough. I know how low the fertility rate of elves born with inferior genes is.”

My condolences to the elves who have this kind of guy as their mayor. Boss K continued.

“I don’t know all the Relics of Chaos, but I know how many there are in total. The First Hero wanted to love his wives fairly, so he gave each wife one. In that sense, he was quite a frustrating friend. Not all fruits hanging from a tree are desirable.”

“So, how many are there?”

“A total of thirty-two.”

“That’s a lot.”

The relics and his wives.

“Not necessarily. There were thousands of beautiful women who wanted to win the First Hero’s love. But if you ask me if it was a wise choice, he was an over-romanticist.”

He believed that love could overcome everything, but the reality was different.

“Leave out that little detail.”

I understood Senior 1’s complicated family history to some extent through the memories held by the Relics.

“Haha! I got it. Of course, he ran away from home with his unique ability. It’s a unique resource we call the Power of Chaos. It is accomplished by interfering with the rules set by God. Thanks to that ability, he crossed the dimensional wall that God placed.”

“Hoo…”

It seems that Thief E’s claim that dimensional shift could be achieved by collecting 9 Relics of Chaos was true.

“Hero, you said that you would take responsibility for my daughter’s future, so I will risk my life to uncover the details.”

“Don’t pass the responsibility as you please.”

“Haha! What a shame. I do not know the exact identity of the existence that you call Fantasy God. However, I can assure you that he is much weaker than the first Demon King in combat power. Because I nurtured a hero to defeat that Demon King.”

“Is that all?”

I expected that much too. If that’s all, I’m very disappointed…

“Please understand that the information is out of date because I’ve been locked up for a long time. Let’s move on to the latest information this time. Do you know the identity of the people called teaching staff?”

“No.”

If I had known their identity, I would have twisted everyone’s neck, especially the Morals Teacher.

“Hero, you’re summoned to this land every 40 years because of the Hero Festival. But I am a native here. So I was able to watch the staff prepare for the festival.”

“Hoo…?”

So who are they?

“They are the wives that the First Hero loved.”

*

I lay on the fluffy bed and stared blankly at the bedroom ceiling. Should I say it’s enlightenment beyond rage? It’s because I realized that I was trapped in a barbaric fantasy world for all those years because of Senior 1’s family having a breakdown. The Fantasy God who sealed the greatest enemy, the first Demon King Pedonar, didn’t need to foster warriors anymore.

However, as the hero who defeated the Demon King ran away and rebelled, a new chess piece was needed. That victim was me. A good cultured citizen of the Earth had been suffering all this time because of that.

“Zzzz.”

Right next to me, Elf K was asleep, covered with lingering evidence that we went hard all night. It seemed that she wanted to have a baby, but unfortunately, my race was now spirit, not human. No new life could be born between a spirit and an elf. It was like a vain dream for Elf K; it was even more impossible because the elf royal family’s fertility rate was extremely bad from the get-go.

▷Score: 831

▷Rank: 1854

I only spent one night with the unfortunate Elf mayor’s daughter, but somehow my score went up. Was my act of legally making an elf with two transcendental realm skills pass out so great?

This was Elf K’s room. It was too wide to be used alone, but it didn’t feel spacious as it was decorated with a baby bed, baby products, and toys for a baby who didn’t exist yet. And on the opposite wall…

“Who the hell are you…?”

There was a portrait of myself of a burdensome size. Elf K, who slept and woke up in this bed, seemed to start the day looking at my greasy smile every morning. There’s no way another elf man could catch her eye like this.

I got out of bed quietly. Still, Elf K didn’t wake up. It was worth the trouble of beating her up all night as she was trying to tire me out.

“Haha! Did you have a good night?”

Boss K, wearing an apron, was cooking in the kitchen. He smiled insidiously as soon as he found me.

“Do you know how to cook?”

“Only the basics. I can cook anything with non-poisonous ingredients. My daughter, who has picky tastes, kept me out of the kitchen after being freaked out by the stir-fried beetles, but today is special. Fufufu!”

“I doubt you’re her parent.”

I meant it from the bottom of my heart.

“Haha! I think I told you before? As the elves say, a child a thousand years ago, a friend later. We’ve been neighbors since two-thousand years ago.”

“You seem very proud.”

“Haha!”

“But you’re not roasting beetles, are you?”

“This is a fish dish that I designed to break the prejudice that elves are vegans. Even the Mind Spirits close their eyes when it comes to retrieving and eating salmon that has come up to fresh water and died from exhaustion after spawning. Ah! Salmon is a very oily fish, so it is popular with elf women who are worried about their body shape.”

We sat at the table, facing each other as we ate the salmon.

…It’s pretty tasty, huh?

“It’s pretty good.”

“I’m glad it suits your taste. Ah! And with my administrator rights, I’ve made several requests to you. Solving my daughter’s problems, playing with my annoying daughter, soothing my picky daughter, making friends with my beloved daughter, teaching my scary daughter. It must have improved your score quite a bit by now.”

“It’s an abuse of power.”

“What do you mean abuse? Only when my family is peaceful can I do a good job in the City Hall. So, this is also an official job. Now, she pretends to be a decent lady in front of you, but she’s terrible when she’s hysterical.”

“Where is your conscience to leave such a daughter to me?”

“Haha! I believe in you, Hero!”

After the meal, I asked Boss K in a serious tone.

“Are there any remaining faculty staff at the festival?”

My hands were always ready to slip.

“There are, but they aren’t the faculty staff that you are looking for. They are senior teachers with heavy burdens. Dealing with the pathetic graduates is handled by the trainees and new teachers with their identities hidden. They know nothing more than me.”

“Hmm….”

If so, was Miss Trainee Teacher here too?

“You seem to be thinking too complicated. Wouldn’t it be nice to get a good score and go home? I just need you to leave me a cute granddaughter before you leave.”

“Your lust is too obvious!”

“Haha! Being honest is not a bad thing. Of course, I understand your concerns. When you gain eternal life, you instinctively care about the destruction of the planet. Even if you have eternal life, you cannot avoid death if you lose your home.”

In theory, the elf royal family lived forever until they lost their place to live.

“It’s an interesting theory.”

“It is a fact, not a theory. The Fantasy God and the First Hero are fighting over the supremacy of the Earth, but you will be the only graduate who takes it seriously. After all, they don’t have to think far into the future when the war ends.”

“Then?”

“It means that you shouldn’t worry already because you are drawn to the instincts of those who have eternal life. You can’t be brilliant anyway, can you? Unless you have your unique power to oppose the Fantasy God like my friend.”

I smirked.

“You’re talking too openly in front of this name tag.”

I was informed the name tag also had a surveillance camera function.

“That’s fine. After all, the faculty staff also know that I am this kind of guy. Didn’t I tell you a while ago? Not all of them, but there is my friend’s wife among the senior teachers. And it may offend you when I say this, but you are just a student in elementary school. No matter how great you are, you are an elementary school student at best.”

“I don’t feel happy about it.”

He underestimated a warrior with thirty-three years of fantasy experience. But Boss K didn’t back down either.

“I’m sorry. But the reality is brutal. No matter what you do, all the faculty staff won’t raise an eyebrow because elementary school students do not influence the trend. Even if you can’t, they’ll give you a glance when you’re in middle school.”

“Is that so…?”

It was good news to hear. I thought the First Hero was trying to scout me, so I thought I’d become great, but I guess it was just my feeling.

Boss K was right. I am nothing more than an elementary student. Aside from childish politics like cosmic supremacy, it was a hundred times more beneficial to think about how to avoid my mother’s tennis racket.

“Boss K. You’re right.”

“Thank you for your understanding.”

“In that sense, give me a mission so I can get a lot of points. Instead of playing with your daughter, I want to subjugate monsters.”

“All right. Ah! And take my daughter too. Many monsters are too difficult to kill by you alone, Hero.”

“Alone? Who is alone?”

I summoned all the spirits. Boss K muttered as if mesmerized.

“Prince Boris, the Sword Star Silerion, the Demon Hunter Artemis, and even the fantastic big-breasted angel…?”

“Boss K. Give me a bounty on the right game here. Hey! Be quiet. You’ve never seen a sorry elf king before?”

My orders were absolute. The mouths of the spirits, who were surprised to see Elfheim, the third Elf King who was thought to be dead, were completely shut. At that time, Boss K gave the wrong answer.

“…It seems that I underestimated you, Hero. It is the first time I have ever seen such an elementary school student.”

“What kind of bullshit are you spouting all of a sudden?”

“It means that the faculty staff, who are monitoring our conversation in real-time, will have taken it very seriously! They will act right away-!”

Ding Dong!

The doorbell at the front door rang like thunder.