How To Live As A Writer In A Fantasy World

Murder with words.

A saying that metaphorically refers to stabbing one’s opponent in the vital point with sharp words. It means that a person’s words can always be a weapon.

Commonly referred to as a verbal jab or factual violence, this proverb emphasizes the immense power inherent in human speech. If maximized, it can completely ruin someone’s life.

In this way, human speech harbors terrifying potential. The one who skillfully manipulates words possesses the power to crush another’s ego, gently pushing them into their own trap, revealing their true character.

This concept is applicable in everyday life as well. While being eloquent may often invite accusations of arrogance, it depends on how one wields their words.

Moreover, the message I conveyed to Count Letici aligned with the concept of ‘murder with words’. If Letici had claimed suicide was just that, it would have led to a long and convoluted argument. However, his response to the homicide question left no room for such complexity, making things much easier.

In my past life, parents like Count Letici were widespread. They belong to the class frequently seen in countries like South Korea, India, and China, where there is an abnormally high emphasis on education.

Everyone has a limit to what they can endure, and if they cannot withstand that limit, they break down physically and mentally. And the end result is stepping into the escape route called death.

Towards such children, people tend to not blame the child but rather the parents. They criticize, pointing fingers, saying, ‘You pushed the child like that, you punished them.’

Parents, when faced with such criticism, often come up with similar excuses. ‘I didn’t know the child would have such a hard time. I only did this because I wanted the child to do well.’

Of course, if you carefully consider their words, they’re not entirely wrong. Parents have experienced more events and have had more reflections than their children, undoubtedly.

But it’s ridiculous. Parents are meant to guide their children along the right path, not manipulate them like puppets. The difference between these two roles should be clearly understood, and it vividly demonstrates how challenging the role of a parent can be.

Parents must guide their children along the right path while preventing them from going astray, but this doesn’t mean controlling and suppressing them. It can be asserted that there are no parents who can do all of this at once.

Especially if adolescents are emotionally crushed without even properly forming their personalities like Cherry, their future is undoubtedly bleak.

Even though there may seem to be immediate effects, living with depression and self-loathing is prevalent, and as adults, there is often no difference from their childhood state.

In that sense, Count Letici can be seen as severely lacking in parental qualities. Embracing twisted philosophies, he governed his children’s education according to his own whims and even went so far as to manipulate them like puppets.

He falls just short of being called an attempted murderer who almost drove a promising child to suicide.

“··· ···”

Count Letici’s expression turned blank when I mentioned that he almost became an attempted murderer while wearing a bright smile. It was as if he didn’t quite understand what he had just heard, his face containing a myriad of complex meanings.

Even as I maintained my smile while looking at his face, though he may have misunderstood the philosophy, Count Letici’s intellect was sharp. He would surely understand the implications of what I just said.

And sure enough, Count Letici initially looked shocked but then gradually turned his head to the side. Naturally, sitting beside him was his estranged daughter, Cherry.

“···Cherry?”

“··· ···”

“Do you really···”

Count Letici’s voice trembled slightly, as if he had been greatly shocked. Nevertheless, Cherry didn’t even turn her head, expressing reluctance to come closer by subtly shifting her hips. Though it was an indirect expression, it could be seen as an extreme reaction coming from Cherry.

If a child receives proper education, they don’t openly dislike their parents. Moreover, in cases where their personality hasn’t properly developed like Cherry, they often end up becoming mere puppets. However, after meeting me and publishing her own book, she’s slowly but surely forming her personality. If it were someone else, they would’ve just sat still.

‘It’s a bit daunting to be stared at so intently.’

Even now, while shifting her buttocks, she was staring at me intensely. In her dark eyes, the light flickered on and off like a discharged battery.

I found myself wearing a complex expression as I alternated between the shocked Count Letici and the rejecting Cherry.

It’s regrettable, but the rift between them is as vast as an uncrossable river. It’ll take a long time for their relationship to mend, if it ever does. Perhaps it might even become worse than before. Just because they’re related by blood doesn’t mean they’re automatically family, as in the case of Adelia.

This isn’t a problem I can solve, so I can’t offer any advice. However, I am confident that I can make Count Letici realize his mistakes.

In the midst of the suddenly heavy atmosphere, I spoke up.

“Just a moment ago, you mentioned, Count, that while philosophy may not have a defined path, there is a recognized one. However, even that recognized path isn’t allowed for children. You see parents as stems and philosophy as roots.”

“…”

“But that’s not it. Parents should fulfill the role of roots, not stems. Children are the ones who receive nutrients from the roots and grow; they are the stems, branches, leaves, flowers, and fruits. Those fruits fall back to the ground and create new plants. There’s no recognized path for human growth. If there were, humanity wouldn’t have progressed as it has.”

Count Letici listened to me and turned his gaze away from Cherry to look at me. Perhaps it was such a big shock that he couldn’t say anything and just sat there speechless.

Ironically, this situation works in my favor. If he had yelled like any other old-fashioned person, it wouldn’t have been as easy.

Still, the sincerity of his love for Cherry is genuine. If he had thought of Cherry as a mere tool, he wouldn’t have reacted like this.

They say too much of anything is bad, and combining excessive love with flawed philosophy has led to this tragedy.

“Continuously trampling on something that doesn’t please you before it even has a chance to sprout. Count, you mercilessly trampled on Cherry before she could sprout her philosophical stem. In the end, it didn’t even have a chance to grow, and it rotted away.”

“…What do you know?”

“Me?”

How much had he managed to recover from the shock? Count Letici asked me in a lowered voice.

Then he hesitated for a moment as if he didn’t want to continue and reprimanded me with a tone that seemed to resist, driven by pitiful pride.

“Why are you saying such things? What do you know about Cherry?”

Is it pride in appearance, or words stemming from the wretchedness of being a father?

It could be both. As I mentioned before, Count Letici’s love for Cherry is genuine.

He probably wants to deny it. His beloved daughter almost committed suicide because of his misguided beliefs.

People tend to dislike being confronted with factual violence, even if it’s out of pride. Count Letici might have been spared from insults only because he’s a noble.

This could be considered quite polite. Despite being in the wrong, he has the basic manners of a philosopher.

And I have enough logical prowess to dissect his words head-on. It was a famous phrase from my past life, so I remember it vividly.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“No. I’m just Cherry’s senior, not her family like Count Letici. I know what Cherry dreams of, but don’t know what foods she likes, what clothes she prefers, what colors she likes, and so on. I know nothing.”

“Then why…”

Before Count Letici could continue, I cut him off and firmly stated,

“That’s why I can accept it.”

“…”

“Being curious about who Cherry is leads to delving deeper and understanding what she truly desires. It’s not about awkwardly insisting that this is right, but rather supporting each individual’s personality and dreams.”

I know that I know nothing. It’s one of the greatest realizations achieved by the philosopher Socrates.

People tend to become arrogant about what they know. However, just as the deeper a well gets, the darker it becomes beyond measurement, knowledge is not much different. Even someone as knowledgeable in history as myself is merely an amateur compared to Elena and Cindy. Furthermore, even Elena is currently igniting her passion for history, which she herself does not know much about.

The same goes for people. Since we know nothing about who that person is or what they like, we can accept it as their unique personality.

“Count. Earlier, you asked what philosophy is, right? I believe that even that question, with no clear answer, is philosophy in itself.”

“··· ···”

“The essence of philosophy starts from ‘Why?’ So ···”

The merciless fact-based violence was over. It’s time to politely make a ‘request.’

Before making the request, I glanced at Cherry to check her condition. Now her light has completely returned, and vitality could be felt from her.

And holding both hands tightly, it seems like she had some expectations. I don’t know what she’s expecting, but I have to say something.

Confused, I faced Count Letici and politely made the request.

“Please support Cherry’s dream, Count.”

“··· ···”

“Just once. Even just once is fine. Please wait until Cherry, that child, sprouts and blooms.”

I bowed politely while making the request. I don’t know what expression Count Letici is making, but I will wait until he speaks.

To the Count, it might be somewhat hard to understand. No matter how coincidental our encounter may have been, I am merely a third party.

There’s no need to engage in arguments with Count Letici, bearing the risk, especially when the returns from such risks are uncertain.

“Why?”

“…”

“You’re just a senior from Cherry’s academy… Why go this far?”

The situation unfolded as expected. However, the tone was different from before.

There’s a part where I could infer Count Letici’s psychological change and also the intention to respect me. It seems that he has already made up his mind. In response, I slowly raised my bowed head. In his blue shining eyes, there was confusion and questioning.

Although I wished to reveal myself as Xenon, it’s not the right time yet. Eventually, he’ll realize it naturally once he finds out that Cherry wrote a book.

Above all, I had already prepared an appropriate response for such a situation.

I diverted my gaze from the bewildered Count Letici and looked at Cherry. She was holding her hands tightly, her expression full of anticipation.

With a smile directed at Cherry, I sincerely replied.

“Cherry’s writing is too fascinating. It would be a waste to let it rot away…”

Honestly.

“I think it’s such a waste.”

It’s not just a loss but rather a cultural loss.

*****

Since then, the situation has become quite uncertain. Count Letici listened to me and said he needed to think about it, excusing himself for a moment to leave the room.

Well, he must have a lot to think about. Perhaps he’ll just go back to his family without looking back. From Count Letici’s perspective, his firmly held philosophy has crumbled right over his head. There might be nothing as agonizing as having one’s beliefs shattered.

Still, what worries me a bit is whether he’ll officially protest for being insulted in his honor. Let’s hope he’s not someone with a grudge and pettiness.

Anyway, since Count Letici left, it’s just Cherry and me left. The coffee left untouched by Count Letici was sitting there all alone.

“…Thank you.”

As I silently gaze at the coffee, Cherry’s frail voice pierces through my ears. As soon as I hear her voice, I shift my gaze.

When I shift my gaze, I see Cherry staring at me, her hands tightly clasped together. Her eyes were still cloudy and unclear.

Still, it’s much better than being gloomy.

“What’s there to thank for? It’s a problem we’ll have to solve someday.”

I replied as I took a sip of the completely melted iced Americano. This wasn’t just empty words; it was a situation we’d have to confront sooner or later.

Now it’s just a matter of whether wings will be attached to Cherry’s back according to Count Letici’s choice or whether she will have to face even greater hardships. I hope it’s the former.

‘I’m not particularly fond of revealing my identity.’

For Count Letici, it would be a perplexing situation. Having been subjected to a barrage of factual violence, with Xenon being the adversary. Maybe it’s because it’s Xenon, I thought, he might just let it slide. I hope only strange situations don’t arise.

I slowly set down the teacup and looked at Cherry. In front of her was a cup of black tea, untouched until now. I was just about to suggest she drank it, hoping she’d take a moment to relax from now on.

“Senior.”

“You too, would you like some tea… Huh?”

“Senior, is there something you want from me?”

A somewhat unexpected question flowed from Cherry’s lips. I was momentarily taken aback by her question, and what followed next left me astonished.

Cherry’s eyes gradually… gradually began to brighten. Along with this, the disguise magic that Cecily had cast began to dissipate, and her brown hair slowly returned to its pink hue.

Returning to her original appearance doesn’t hold much significance. After all, there was nothing to hide after exposing her identity to Count Letici.

However, the vigor that had been absent from her dark eyes was returning, which was rather unsettling. Surely, it signifies a significant psychological change.

I met her pink eyes, which shone like a light bulb with a fresh battery, and spoke with a trembling voice.

“Um… Anything in particular? Just wish you’d keep bringing books regularly?”

“Other than that?”

“Other than that…”

“If you wish, I can give you everything I have.”

“What?”

What a bizarre and absurd thing to say. Looking at Cherry in confusion, something seemed off.

Beyond brightness, it shone with radiance. Life was sprouting in those eyes that were gloomy just a moment ago. No, they appeared contradictory ‘shining darkly’. There’s no other way to describe her eyes than with that paradoxical phrase.

“What do you need? My body? Or my heart? Tell me what you desire. If you want me to roam the streets naked right now, it’s fine, and if you order me to die, I’ll gladly do it. And…”

“Wait, wait a moment.”

I hurriedly stopped Cherry, who was getting increasingly overheated. Even if her switch was flipped, it seemed like she had pressed down too hard on the accelerator suddenly.

I roughly understand why she’s acting like this, but it’s too much. I knew her way of thinking always leaned heavily towards ‘me’, but this felt like an escalation.

Let’s stop here for now. Like a well-trained dog, Cherry obediently closed her mouth when I intervened by extending my hand.

However, seeing the upward-turned corners of her mouth that seemed like they might tear and her eyes filled with ecstasy, one could never call it normal.

“Whew… Cherry.”

“Yes, Senior.”

“Do you have something you want from me then?”

Let’s change the subject first. It felt like I was seeing the insanity of a relentless wheel that showed no sign of stopping.

And as if to prove my prediction correct, Cherry provided an answer that made my jaw drop.

“Please don’t discard me.”

“…”

At the same time, her eyes, which had been shining darkly, sank deep like an abyss. Her voice also echoed endlessly, expressing her psyche in an instant.

I couldn’t close my gaping mouth in the face of Cherry’s state, which seemed even more serious than before. Cherry seemed like she would do anything if it were truly my command.

And that’s what’s even scarier. This wasn’t a relationship between a senior and a junior, but more like a master and a slave.

Even Cecily and Kate weren’t this extreme. If Cecily’s devotion and Kate’s fanaticism were to mix thoroughly, wouldn’t it create a dreadful hybrid like this?

“I’ll do anything…”

Cherry’s belated adolescence.

“Please don’t abandon me.”

It twisted to the point of no return.

“Okay?”

The epiphany came back all at once.

Translators note:

It was almost wholesome… But props to the author for depicting this rather well.

If you find yourself in a similarly difficult situation please contact your local suicide prevention line, a teraphist or someone close to you. Your life is important.

Love to you all.