I Just want a Peaceful life

Chapter 83: Imbalance

Angus's life in Magician Class is quite pleasant. No one disturbs him, he could also learn many kinds of spells without any restriction.

Still, some people will think him a bit of weirdo as he borrows a lot of spell formulas at once. Normally, the student will only borrow one or two spells at once or at least no more than five at once.

However, Angus borrowed the spell formula at least ten or more at once. Fortunately, he always returns them a few days later. Otherwise, his small points will get deducted or get some warning from the teacher.

Since he always returns them a few days later, everyone thought he was just trying to increase his spell's knowledge. On the contrary, Angus managed to remember every single detail about the spells formulas.

However, learning all of them is a different matter. Learning spells by himself is harder than learning from the system skill books. Spells need a lot of complicated calculations to create a magic circle.

The magic circle will convert the mana into elements of the corresponding spells. Then, they will work according to the intention of the spell.

As for non-elemental spells, the magic circle will immediately work according to the intention of the spell without converting mana into elements. This way the non-elemental spell uses less mana than elemental spells.

However, elemental spells are stronger than non-elemental spells and have many different benefits. It may not show for the lower circle spells but at the high circle spells the difference will be apparent.

Angus also found that his affinity affected the spell's casting. Using the elemental spell that is the same as the user's affinity will decrease time and mana consumption. The magic circle will consume less mana and time to convert mana into elements.

So, people often use their elemental affinity spells more than others spells or non-elemental spells. For Angus, the harder part is to create a magic circle using his mana. It needs a delicate process especially for other elemental spells besides his fire spells.

To anticipate this, people usually use chanting to help them create the magic circle. Chanting is a strange phenomenon that could help create a magic circle.

Chanting is different than only talking some gibberish words. Each word needs to be imbued by mana and intent. Rumour said that different languages could also have different effects.

Some myths even told that there is even a language that is so powerful to even cast a high-level circle by saying a word of it.

However, Angus didn't like chanting. First, it will leave him vulnerable for a certain period. Although he could multitask and dodge some attacks, it will exhaust his mind for a long battle.

He also couldn't do the same thing when casting high circle spells. Then, it also takes a lot of time to do casting. The spells may have great power but no enemy will wait for Angus to finish with his casting. This is the reason Magicians are famous for being glass cannons.

Usually, Magicians are positioned in the back while Warrior or Hybrid combatants in the front. In the magician class, the student is encouraged to increase their casting speed with some technique.

There are many techniques to increase casting speed such as the [Firecast] technique that Angus found from his father's note. After telling his father that he is choosing Magician Class, his father gives a series of his notes and experiences about being a magician.

He also gave his secret technique [Firecast] to Angus. [Firecast] is an expert technique that requires him to control the fire elemental in the surroundings to help him cast fire spells.

By using [Firecast], Angus could cast many high circle fire spells with a little bit of mana and less time. If his control over the fire elemental is reaching an advanced level, he could even instacast them some of the spells.

He still remembers how his father summoned [Fire Wyrm] easily by using [Firecast]. This is really a useful technique in the long battle.

However, controlling the elemental in the surrounding is very difficult. It is like trying to pull something heavy with just a fragile string or hair.

Now, Angus is sitting in the Spring Dorm garden in a meditative position. After a while, he opened his eyes and left a sigh.

'Fuck.. Damn it..' curse Angus inwardly.

Since Angus read his father's note, he is in some kind of dilemma. Angus knows a technique from his past life to easily control the surrounding using mana. This is the highest pinnacle technique in his past life.

However, before he could do this technique, he needed to be in control of his body and mind. Though it may seem simple, it is very hard, especially the mental part.

To gain absolute control of his mind, he needs to be true to himself. Deep inside Angus didn't want to practice this technique as it brought back his past life experience. Part of him is afraid that he will be betrayed because of being too strong.

But another side of him wants to gain as much power as possible. This contradiction inside his mind leads him to disrupt his inner peace and break his control.

As a body control freak, this makes him frustrated. Especially now his inner peace is disrupted and makes him more emotional.

'Fuck.. Why can't I do it? It was so easy when I learned it before.' thought Angus.

Although Angus knew the real problem and its cause, he still couldn't do anything about it. After a few moments of trying Agnus gives up learning this technique.

'It seems this conflict will haunt me for a long time.' sighed Angus while he is back in his room.

On the way to his room, "Angus, going back already?" asked Millie

"Ahh yeah.. watering the garden again?" replied Angus

"Yeah, Hmm... Weird. You usually always stay in the garden until sunset. Is everything okay?" asked Millie.

"Err.. Yeah.. I just got a little bit tired today." replied Angus

"Really?? Well, then have a nice rest. It's bad if you get sick." said Millie

"Alright, see you later, Millie." said Angus

Before entering the dorm, Angus feels a battle nearby. Using his [Mana Echolocation], he could perceive Jayna and Ian dueling once again.

'Why the hell those two always fight like a cat and dog. Can they not just be peaceful?' thought Angus as he entered the dorm.

Arriving at his room, Angus immediately took out his Sky Thorn and entered the manual battle system. He needs to express his uncomfortable feeling about something or he will go berserk.

Few months passed by since Angus entered the Magician Class. During all this time, Angus still couldn't solve his inner problem and only increase his frustration.

Inside the basement below the smithing, Angus and Balrug sparring once with each other. *Bam* *Bam* Occasionally, a loud booming sound heard from there despite the room is heavily enchanted.

Unlike before where Angus could only receive a beating, he sometimes also launched counterattacks. However, this will only get him more beaten up by Balrug. *BAM* as Angus was launched a few meters back.

"Let's stop it for now," said Balrug.

"No.. I can still fight." said Angus while trying to stand up.

"*Sigh* Boy, tell me what's wrong?" asked Balrug.

"It's nothing, just continue the spar." replied Angus.

"Did you hear yourself, boy? Where is your calmness that you always have? Now, your way of fighting is like a crazy maniac that wants to be beaten. Tell me, boy, what's that disrupting you?" asked Balrug with a tender tone.

Looking at the way Angus fights, even an idiot could feel that Angus is not in the sane mind. Balrug also noticed this from the start and left it alone as he didn't want to interfere with Angus's privacy.

However, during the last few spars, Angus keeps getting reckless. Sometimes he even trades blow for blow and doesn't care about his own body. From Balrug experience, he knows that Angus has some kind of problem in his mind.

For an expert warrior like Balrug, he knows the importance of body and mind. These two things cannot be separate and interconnected, one with the others.

"Haa… You are right. I.. I just have some conflict in my mind." replied Angus as he tries to calm his chaotic mind.

"Care to tell me the story?" asked Balrug.

"It's about my dream. I want to have a peaceful life. Yet, I also keep pursuing strength. I'm just afraid that when my strength is revealed, only trouble will come." explained Angus

Hearing Angus's explanation, "Hmm.. is that all? I don't know what makes you so troubled with it. But, I can sense anxiety, fear, anger, and many more negative feelings from you."

"As an old man I could only advise that you should not focus too much on something far away, otherwise you will lose everything near you." said the old man.

"Haaa.. Alright. Maybe you are right, old man." replied Angus.

"Just take it, easy kid. You still have a long way, you will exhaust yourself soon if you are too serious." said Balrug.

"Right, I have been too tense lately. Thanks for the advice old man." said Angus.