I Shall Seal the Heavens (Web Novel)

The parrot was infuriated. It didn’t have too many feathers to begin with, and it believed every single one of them to be very precious. They might all be different colors, but that didn’t make them any less valuable. Together, they represented the parrot’s ability to attract other luxuriantly furred and feathered beasts.

But now some of those feathers had been knocked off, which to the parrot, was the same as being disfigured!

It was sure that lacking those feathers would result in the scorn and mockery of any furred or feathered beasts it met in the future. Therefore, its rage surged into the Heavens.

In response to its roar, Han Qinglei frowned, but didn’t pause for a moment in his charge toward Meng Hao. However, all of a sudden, numerous black beams of light shot out behind the parrot. In the blink of an eye, a large group of Demonic cultivators had appeared.

These Demonic cultivators were not in human form. Instead, they looked like an assortment of seafood. There were shells, shrimp, crabs, a sea turtle….

“It’s time to sing for Lord Fifth!” the parrot squawked. “This bastard dared to ruin some of my feathers. Crush him!”

In response to the parrot’s orders, the Demonic cultivators immediately formed up and began to sing. “I was a bad kid when I was young, I’m a little seafood dish, lalalalala, little seafood dish, dobedobedoooo, little seafood dish….”

When Meng Hao had listened to this song before, he always assumed that it was simply uncomfortably discordant. However, when the group started singing this time, all of a sudden, thunder began to rumble, and bolts of lightning instantly shot down toward Han Qinglei.

Han Qinglei’s face flickered with shock, and he fell backward in retreat, staring at the clamorous parrot and his singing seafood dishes. He began to pant in disbelief as the singing apparently began to affect the natural laws and Essence of the Windswept Realm.

A powerful energy of expulsion began to gather around Han Qinglei, causing his face to fall.

“What is that thing!?” he gasped, looking at the parrot in astonishment. Thunder crashed, and wild colors flashed in the sky. Black clouds gathered, and numerous lightning bolts converged. Han Qinglei’s scalp began to go numb.

A single glance told him that this song was completely beyond ordinary, as if it had become the Heavenly will of the Windswept Realm, and could control natural laws, and even Essence, something terrifying to the extreme.

If that were all there were to it, it might not be a big deal, but even more shocking to Han Qinglei was that the singing instantly caused moisture to build up in the area. Apparently, the song was able to materialize a sea, complete with raging waves.

“Impossible!!” he cried. The parrot looked extremely pleased with itself, and whooped out in excitement.

“Scared yet? Dammit! You dared to pluck some of Lord Fifth’s feathers! You dared to ruin Lord Fifth’s good looks! Lord Fifth isn’t gonna let you off the hook!”

More lightning and thunder crashed as the group switched songs.

“I’m your little, dear little seafood dish! However I love you, it’s never too much. I’m your little, dear little seafood dish! Seeeaaaaafoooooood DISH!”

The change in the song caused the sea to churn. Furthermore, mountains appeared up in the sky which began to crush down toward Han Qinglei. The booms from the mountains crashing against the ground almost sounded like musical instruments, pounding out a rhythm to go along with the song.

“Spell formation?! It’s a spell formation that incites the Essences of Heaven and Earth!?!? What… what kind of bird is that?!?!” Han Qinglei’s face flickered with continuous astonishment and shock as he finally realized that he was facing a spell formation. However, he had never before heard of any type of spell formation that was unleashed by singing.

He had definitely never heard… of any type of spell formation that could incite Essences of Heaven and Earth. A spell formation like that would be exceedingly rare, the stuff of legends.

Rumbling filled the air, and Han Qinglei’s face went ashen. He fell back again, avoiding the falling mountains. His mind reeled as the seafood group once again changed songs.

“We’re seafood dishes! We’re seafood dishes. Waaaaaaaaaa! Great and mighty Lord Fifth. Whoaaaaaaaaa! Great and mighty Lord Third….”

The instant the lyrics rang out, the parrot began to glow with blinding light, as if the song were boosting its power. Shockingly, Essences and numerous natural laws began to swirl around, making the parrot look like some sort of divine being. It let out a squawk, which turned into an attack like a powerful arrow that shot toward Han Qinglei.

“You dared to spoil Lord Fifth’s good looks!” it raged, its voice echoing out with thunderous, domineering power. “Lord Fifth is gonna screw you!”

However, it was at this point that the meat jelly attached to the parrot’s ankle suddenly began to speak in a very solemn tone. “You can’t curse people. Cursing is wrong. You should say that you will slay him, not that you will screw him. Screwing is wrong. Screwing is immoral!” 1

“Shut the hell up!” the parrot roared, shooting toward Han Qinglei. “Lord Fifth is gonna screw this guy!”

Han Qinglei’s face fell. “Dammit, it can actually power itself up too!!” He suddenly felt as if his entire world had been turned upside down. He had never seen a spell formation that operated on singing. Nor had he ever seen a bird as arrogant and aggressive as this. He most definitely had never seen a bird that roared about screwing things.

“Well so what if you can incite the Essence of Heaven and Earth!? That power comes from the spell formation, and those Demonic cultivators aren’t powerful enough to keep it running for long!” Han Qinglei gritted his teeth and waved his hand, sending his second clone charging toward the parrot. Then he performed a double-handed incantation gesture, causing a throne of white bones to appear. At the same time, a huge throng of skeleton warriors also materialized.

Some of the skeletons were black, and held long bone spears in their hands. They led the other skeletons in a charge against the parrot. When the two forces slammed into each other, a huge boom echoed out.

Countless bones shattered, and the throne exploded. Blood sprayed out of Han Qinglei’s mouth. Roaring, he performed an incantation gesture then waved his finger, ripping the air open. Immediately, a bone hand stretched out and swiped viciously toward the parrot.

The parrot squawked, and the singing of the seafood dishes grew more intense. As for the parrot, it attacked wantonly, piercing through the bone hand to appear directly behind Han Qinglei’s clone, whereupon it charged viciously toward his rear end.

Han Qinglei’s clone looked on in shock, and suddenly dispersed. When he reformed some distance off, the parrot let out another furious squawk and charged him again.

It was clearly a dangerous situation, but Han Qinglei’s true form simply chuckled coldly. A derisive look appeared in his eyes as one of his clones handled the blackpod imps, and the other took care of the bizarre bird.

“Nine Windswept Nations, each with 300 great Daos. The final 300 are located in the central temple. A total of 3,000 great Daos, and whoever gains enlightenment of the most will be able to enter the central temple. Now the time has come… to give me the Ninth Nation’s World Seal!” Chuckling coldly, Han Qinglei’s true form flashed through the air toward Meng Hao, extending his right hand as if to touch Meng Hao’s forehead.

“DIE!”

Even as Han Qinglei’s finger closed in on Meng Hao, all of a sudden, the tinkling of a bell could be heard coming from the parrot’s ankle. The bell vanished, reappearing between Meng Hao’s forehead and Han Qinglei’s finger in the form of a fist-sized meat jelly, which slammed into the finger.

The meat jelly was soft but also elastic. Within that elasticity was an incredible toughness which instantly blocked Han Qinglei’s finger.

A boom could be heard, and the meat jelly let out a roar. It looked angrily at Han Qinglei and said, “You’re a bully!!”

Han Qinglei stared in shock. He was quickly coming to the realization that Meng Hao had a boggling amount of bizarre items at his disposal. First were the blackpod imps, next was the terrifying parrot, and now was this strange meat jelly that had the face of an old man.

“SCREWWWW OFF!” Han Qinglei roared. He was reaching the limit of his patience. He could never have anticipated that after handling Fan Dong’er and Bei Yu, he would shatter the shield only to face so many setbacks in trying to kill Meng Hao.

His hand suddenly flashed to the side, striking at Meng Hao from a different angle. However, no matter how he varied his moves, the meat jelly always blocked him. Furthermore, it continued scream miserably and to berate him loudly.

“Bully! You’re nothing but a bully!

“Lord Third converts bullies like you! Bully! Lower your weapons and allow the great and mighty Lord Third to help you become obedient, kind, and upright!

“AAGGHH! You’re still hitting me?! Bully! Bully! BULLY! BULLY!!!”

Han Qinglei was on the verge of going crazy. Letting out a furious howl, he performing an incantation gesture, materializing a divine ability. Countless bone swords appeared which stabbed toward Meng Hao. It was at this point that the meat jelly transformed into a huge canopy which completely covered Meng Hao and blocked all of the bone swords.

“Lord Third is starting to get pissed off! What are you doing, huh? Hey, what are you doing! You big bully!”

Han Qinglei was thoroughly enraged at having been repeatedly forced to waste so much time. Eyes gleaming with a bizarre light, he suddenly clenched his hand into a fist. As he did, the flesh and blood vanished and became nothing but bleached bones.

He punched out, not with the power of the fleshly body, but with an incredibly powerful divine ability. It slammed into the meat jelly, who let out a miserable shriek. Its body shrank down defensively. Suddenly, a derisive grin appeared on Han Qinglei’s face.

Eyes glittering he said… “Time… stop!”

When those two words left his mouth, everything around him suddenly seemed to grind to an eternal halt.

Everything went quiet. The meat jelly was stuck in midair, and only Han Qinglei seemed to be unaffected. His face was pale, however; clearly, using this Daoist magic was not an easy thing for him.

The instant that time stopped, his eyes glittered with killing intent. His hand changed angles, slipping around the meat jelly’s defenses and rushing directly toward the top of Meng Hao’s head in the form of a fist.

“It’s over!” he said. However, just when his fist was about to strike Meng Hao’s head, Meng Hao’s eyes snapped open, and they gleamed with a murderously cold aura.

His right hand shot up, leaving behind afterimages as it sped to meet Han Qinglei’s fist!

Their eyes suddenly locked.

One of them had a look of shock, the other had a cold gleam in his eyes.

At the moment, one of them looked vicious and cruel, and as for the other, the coldness in his eyes was like that of a sharp blade!

1. In the line about “say that you will slay him, not that you will screw him,” it’s kind of funny because the word for “slay” contains the character translated as “screw.” Similar to English, this “screw” is kind of a slang usage, so the character in question could mean a lot of different things depending on context. Combine it with another character and it means to kill someone or get rid of them