I Should Have Just Died

A hot sigh leaked from Ophelia, who still had a leftover fever. Just being by Ophelia’s side was enough to make him feel warm, so he could guess how sick Ophelia must have been. Seidrick handed Ophelia warm honey water.

Surprisingly, Seidrick, who enjoys sweets, often drinks it while working, so it was always ready in the office.

“……thanks.”

Seidrick sat quietly.

“……Yes. I can’t open my mouth for what you’re doing.”

“Coward.”

“Thank you.”

Seidrick said playfully and messed up Ophelia’s hair. He smelled of heavy rain and savory potato soup.

“…Where have you been, and what have you been doing? I was worried because it was raining and neither of you came back.”

“I went to the villa.”

Ophelia’s eyes widened.

“…that’s Kendrick’s villa.”

Seidrick nodded his head heavily. Kendrick built it as a teenager with Seidrick. At that time, Kendrick was not yet a hero who went to war, and he was not even aboard the ship himself. It was the longest two years.

With the help of Gilbert, it was a villa that was built one tree at a time. So, there are weak sides, but there were two people’s hands all over the place.

And… It was also the place that Seidrick closed with his own hands three years ago. Even the custodians have moved to another location. So that no one can enter. But the door to that place was opened by Seidrick, who had closed it.

“It rained too much. Alyssa and I got too wet. I need a place to shelter from the rain, so I have no choice but to….”

“Seidrick! You really like Alyssa!”

Ophelia exclaimed in surprise.

Then she put down the empty glass.

“Don’t say anything unless you’re serious. Words have weight.”

“Since when?”

“……”

Seidrick declined to answer. In the end, it was Ophelia’s own idea. She traced her memory. The first time her brother saw Alyssa was probably on the wedding day. Before that, Seidrick had spent most of his life abroad, and Alyssa had not been very social.

Besides, Seidrick hates stuffiness, so he hates social activities. So they wouldn’t know each other.

What’s next?

It was in the garden that Seidrick and Alyssa met again. After the wedding, he couldn’t pull himself together and focused on his work. Only once or twice a month. Five times at most.

But in the meantime.

Alyssa concluded.

“… it was from the beginning, Seidrick.”

Seidrick turned his head. He covered his face with his large palms. However, Ophelia could see his burning earlobes. It means the correct answer.

Seidrick took a deep breath.

“Alyssa, from the beginning… well. That day, Alyssa was pretty. There has never been a bride so beautiful. That’s why I hated and hated Alyssa more, so I remember.”

No. Alyssa was the prettiest today.

He realized today how much more beautiful a beauty wet in the rain could be. There was a different atmosphere. For the first time, Alyssa, who has always had a pitiful and neat atmosphere…

Seidrick closed his eyes tightly and then opened them.

No, neither is that.

Alyssa was the prettiest before. Alyssa was the most stunning on that day when she was smiling brighter than the sun.

Every day was different.

Since the wedding day, when he first saw Alyssa, she was a different person for Seidrick.

“…it must have been hard, Seidrick.”

Ophelia mumbled in a cracked voice.

It was difficult for everyone at that time. Of course, Alyssa must have suffered in an unfamiliar space, but the people of Cambridge suffered enough. When they think of Alyssa, they think of Avery, and next to Avery, they think of Kendrick, who died unfairly.

Several Cambridge people said that even if Kendrick could be brought back to life, the royal family should also be burned. Alyssa came at a time when rebellion and rejection towards Avery were at their peak.

Naturally, all those emotions were directed towards Alyssa.

Seidrick would probably too.

He must have hated Alyssa.

Tears welled up in Ophelia’s eyes.

“… idiot?”

So, to avoid it is to disguise his identity. Seidrick also became Sid and gained his freedom. Cambridge’s Seidrick doesn’t love Alyssa. He shouldn’t love her. He could have been the brother-in-law, and she is the bloodline of those who killed his brother.

Seidrick had banned himself.

He shouldn’t have Alyssa in his heart; he shouldn’t love her.

But, how can he stop the emotions that once bloomed? So Seidrick became Sid.

He became Sid, met Alyssa, caught her in his eyes, and unknowingly nurtured feelings. It was only a thin veil, but it covered Alyssa’s eyes.

He became Sid and loved her to his heart’s content. At that moment.

He liked Alyssa’s smile, and he wanted the absurdity of saying let’s be friends.

He thought of Alyssa at every moment and tried to forget her. So when he left for the South…

He pushed her deep into his heart and brainwashed himself in his own way that he would not recall her, that he did not love her. It’s been three years since it lasted like that.

“…why are you both such an idiot?”

Ophelia cried.

You can just love. You can just pretend you don’t know.

What is so wrong with guilt?

“It will be fine now.”

it has to be fine

Now Kendrick is back in Cambridge. Alyssa and Seidrick were no longer bound by Avery’s yoke, and they’re truly free.

* * *

Alyssa squeezed her hair tightly.

“Please, come here. I will do it for you.”

Sasha pulled Alyssa out and sat her in front of the dressing table.

“Where the hell are you from? After getting so wet, all the guests returned to the mansion. I thought those people ate Madam. Really.”

Sasha mumbled in her cheeks. She obviously crossed the line, but Alyssa burst into laughter. She is angry with Alyssa, but her expression and tone of voice, the hand drying Alyssa’s hair …. There is affection everywhere because there was nothing that was not included.

“It’s just for a moment… I need a place to shelter from the rain….”

“Oh. Were you in the hut you mentioned earlier?”

“That’s right.”

Alyssa nodded her head quickly.

It was clear that Sasha would be worried if she had been with Sid. Sasha will support what Alyssa is doing, but she was here in Cambridge. Even a small act could cause Alyssa to be criticized.

Besides, weren’t the guests here as well?

Alyssa looked her in the eye and bit her lip.

Looking back, it wasn’t a big deal…

No, it was a big deal.

Didn’t her rain-soaked clothes reveal her secret skin? Alyssa was the first to experience this. Unintentional… exposure.

Alyssa’s face turned bright red. She was cold, and she was hungry, so she didn’t realize ……

Sid took off his jacket and wore only one white shirt underneath.

A wet shirt was clinging to Sid’s body. The upper body with its outlines exposed… Why was she only thinking about it now?

Alyssa first learned today that a wet shirt could be so obscene. It’s a good thing she didn’t recognize it earlier. She pretends to eat potato soup, or else…

Alyssa nodded her head completely.

She kept thinking nonsense.

‘Shameless, Alyssa. Stop thinking about it!’

Sid must have had no idea. Knowing that she’s alone with her worries, Sid might look at her with strange eyes. Alyssa bit her lip.

Her face is hot.

“Hey. You should have returned home sooner. You have a fever.”

It wasn’t a fever.

It was an embarrassment.

As these thoughts kept coming back to her, she wondered what she thought of Sid. Perhaps the gardener’s work was hard, and his muscles were firmly entrenched. It remained in her memory as it stood out. Besides, his white face was revealed under the droopy blonde hair because it was wet from the rain.

His lips were red because they went from a cold place to a warm place. Once again, she realizes that Sid is handsome.

‘Stop thinking like this, Alyssa…’

Even if she beat herself up, the thing that comes to mind is…

“Oh……”

Alyssa drooled.

It was because she thought even Sid, obscured by the rain, was handsome.

The dense raindrops fell on the blue eyes and bright blonde hair. Water drops on his eyelashes. It fell again and left a trace on the cheek. The reason it was visible in the rain was probably that Alyssa couldn’t take her eyes from Seidrick for a moment.

Alyssa swallowed.

And again.

Deep blue eyes were revealed through the drooping eyelashes. It was as if the sky had been moved.

Eyes wet with rainwater remained in Alyssa’s mind.

If only she could go back to that moment.

If only she could go back to the moment when she and Sid were left alone.

‘I want to hug you. I want to hug him.’

Alyssa gasped and took a deep breath. She was surprised at her own thoughts.

“Madam, it looks like your face is boiling! Oh my, what’s going on? Shall I call the doctor?”

Alyssa shook her head. If he sees her heart beating like this, he may even know what she is thinking. That won’t do.

But that didn’t stop her from thinking.

Alyssa smoother her lips.

‘…I want to kiss you.’

What to do. It’s too sensual.