I'm A Spider, So What? (WN)

Blood 32 – Sulkiness

There’s been too much happening lately and it feels like my head is going to explode. When I woke up after going to bed in a huff and looked at things calmly, even I wonder what was up with me yesterday.

What Wrath was saying is correct. Even now I still can’t remember Felmina and so on, or rather, I don’t think I even have any awareness of her. Even I can realise that that is cruel. I myself understand one-sidedly treating someone like an enemy, having them take no notice of me, and then suffering the crushing shock of not even being recognised. Because I have experienced that myself. To Wakaba Hiiro, the existence of Negishi Akiko, was like that. After we have been reborn, being able to have our current relationship, gives a strange feeling though.

What I’ve done to Felmina, is bad I’m sure. I understand that. I understand it, but I don’t feel like simply apologising.

The heck? Felmina-”chan”, eh! I’d never have expected -chan. For THAT goshujin-sama, to AMIABLY, use -CHAN!

Sigh. Calm down, me. Recently, haven’t I become a bit strange when it comes to goshujin-sama? I’m aware of how things were in our previous existence, but it somehow feels like things have recently been developing in an entirely different direction. This is a bad trend I’m sure.

However, I can’t deny that I’ve thought of Felmina as being annoying anyway, and I don’t think that feeling will change either. If I actually apologise with things as they are now, it’d simply be for form’s sake and without an ounce of sincerity. If I’m going to apologise it should be after repenting honestly and my feelings having cooled down.

Besides all that, the one who annoys me the most right now, is that damn outsider who stuck his nose in and acts as if he owns the place and told me to apologise – Wrath. What’s with that high-and-mighty view of his own opinion! Bad things are bad!? I understand that without being told! That’s why recently I’ve been vomiting while agonising after all!

Spurred on by my seething irritation, I get up from the bed I was lying on. In the end I didn’t return to the dormitory yesterday, and was put up at the mansion overnight. When I open the curtains, I’m bathed in refreshing sunlight. It won’t turn me into ashes of course, but that light makes my heart melancholy.

I’m sure they were waiting until I was awake, since with good timing there is a knock on the door. When I reply, one of the maids of the mansion asks if I need assistance with getting ready. I politely decline, and head over to the dining table where breakfast is being prepared. I find that other people are already there.

One of them is goshujin-sama. Her expression is the same as ever, but that’s the face of someone thinking of nothing else but the breakfast she is about to eat. With that mood about her, I’m sure she won’t respond.

「Good morning.」

「Good morning.」

I exchange greetings with Wrath, the other person already here. As if the room temperature had literally decreased, a battle of dangerous glares unfolds between us. Neither of us intend to yield, that much is clear.

A while after we start glaring at each other, the food is brought in. I’m sure just entering into this space where Wrath and I are trying to stare each other down is painful, so I’m impressed that the serving maids didn’t allow anything to show on their faces. I separate my gaze from Wrath whose spirit had wavered, and take a seat next to goshujin-sama.

The entire meal time is silent. After we’ve finished eating, Wrath turns to look at me. That is clearly telling me that he wants to talk afterwards.

「Sophia, this is convenient timing so let’s go visit the Divine Word Religion.」

Ripping that apart, is a rare long sentence from goshujin-sama. In this atmosphere, to completely ignore that and talk about taking me somewhere, her nerves are the same as ever, but where did you say you’re taking me? If I didn’t mishear, she said the Divine Word Religion or something?

「Eh? What do you mean?」

It’s a bad habit of goshujin-sama, but she orders other people about without explanation, only giving the conclusion from her own reasoning. No matter what, I don’t understand why I should be visiting the Divine Word Religion. Saying that, where exactly is the Divine Word Religion? Doesn’t the Divine Word Religion have locations spread out around the world though?

Goshujin-sama is expressionless. Saying that, I don’t think it’s just my imagination that she appears to be astonished. Why doesn’t she ever realise that her explanations are lacking, I really wish she would stop that.

「Divine Word Religion?」

While I’m agonising over what to do, Wrath’s murmur brings me back to my senses. From the way he said it, it seems like he didn’t understand the meaning of the words “Divine Word Religion”. Ahh. I guess that would be the case for those living in the demon territory? I haven’t heard Wrath’s detailed personal history, but I’ve heard he was a goblin though. Then I guess it’s no surprise that he doesn’t know about the religions of the human territories, since they don’t exist in the demon territories either.

「The Divine Word Religion is a religious belief worshipped widely amongst the humans. Calling the System messages the Voice of God, they promote actively raising levels and skills in order to hear it more often, or some such nonsense.」

Privately though, I attach the comment that they’re the bastards who killed my parents. That’s not relevant right now though, so there’s no need for me to go out of my way to explain that to him, so I’ll conceal it instead. Or rather, you should just be glad to have a decent explanation. To my explanation, Wrath makes an “hmm” expression and then his face seems to tighten in sudden realisation.

「Shiro-san, that doctrine is…」

To Wrath’s words, goshujin-sama nods. Hey, what are you two doing ignoring me and having your own private understanding? How did you communicate between you with just that?

「Would it be possible for me to come as well?」

Goshujin-sama nods yet again. This is a nod to affirm that it’s okay to come, right? Is it just me who keenly feels that a troublesome situation, has suddenly gotten even worse?