I'm Really a Superstar

One-syllable essays.

In the history of this world, there were very few records of such essays, and as a result, very little that could serve as reference. At most, there were only one or two such works. Unless it was someone who specifically studied classical Chinese, most academics from the Chinese Departments could only take a step back in its presence. Therefore, what was this relaxed attitude that Zhang Ye had? There was even a hint of mockery in his smile? The hearts of Xin Ya and the others were beating wildly. Could this fellow even know how to write an essay like that? Surely not, right?

Xin Ya emphasized, "It has to be written by you."

Zhang Ye lightly acknowledged her.

Xin Ya said, "It won't count if someone else has written it before."

Zhang Ye acknowledged her again.

He was already standing in front of the table and picking up the brush.

Quite a few celebrities gathered around, as did those from Peking University and the SARFT. They all crowded together in curiosity to see how Zhang Ye was going to complete this task.

Xin Ya had her eyes on him.

Fat Sis blinked.

The reporters were feeling doubtful.

Zhang Ye started moving the brush!

He didn't even think about it and was already writing it out. He read as he wrote.

" Jī jī jí jī jì. 1 "

"Jī jī jī, jī jī jī. Jǐ jī jǐ jǐ jí jī jí. Jī jí jí, jī jī jí, jī jì jǐ jì jī jí jì. Jī jì jì jì jī, jī jì jí jī jī jǐ jì. Jī jí jí, jì jí jì, jí ji jǐ jí jī jí jì. Jì jí jì jī jí jí jí, jì jí jǐ jī jì jī, jí jī jī."

Xin Ya was stunned!

The reporters were dumbfounded!

The people from Peking University were staring in shock!

The surrounding guests could barely react!

"H-He really wrote it out?"

"What is its meaning?"

"Is it a correct answer?"

"Can anyone translate it please?"

"Is there a flow to it? Does it link into a story?"

"Surely this is too quick, right? Does he not need to think at all?"

Xin Ya was a mathematics academic, so she couldn't understand what was written here either. She questioned it. "Professor Zhang, you better not have written this randomly. We won't accept it just because the syllables are the same. It has to tell a proper story too!"

Was there a story to it?

Teacher Su Na from Peking University's Chinese Department giggled before helping Zhang Ye translate it. "A flock of chickens (jī jī jī) were clucking (jī jī jī) as they crowded onto a ridge between a water wheel and the river. Several (jǐ) of the chickens were crowded (jǐ jǐ) together (jí) on the rocky (jī) ridge (jí). The water wheel (jī) was turning extremely (jí) fast (jí), and the chickens (jī) were extremely (jí) hungry (jī). They attempted to use their wings (jì) to hit (jī) and catch the fish (jì) in the water to eat. But standing around the water wheel (jī) and thistle (jì) area (jī), they were too far away from the water surface and couldn't reach the fish. So they thought (jì) of using the fast turning (jí) water wheel (jī) to hit (jī) the fish (jì). But the extremely (jí) fast (jí) speed that the water wheel (jī) was turning at scared (jì) away the fish as they quickly (jí ji) shoaled (jǐ) together (jí) and found a way to escape through the gaps (jí jì) in the rocks(jī). With the fish (jì) all but gone (jí jí jí), the chickens continued being hungry and kept clucking as a result."

She finished translating it!

There was silence throughout the venue!

Damn!

Damn!

Damn!

How could that be?

He really wrote something?

He really made it into a story!

Professor Zeng suddenly applauded. "Good one!"

Chang Kaige also said excitedly, "Good one, Professor Zhang!"

"Beautiful!"

"This is so impressive!"

The people from Peking University got very excited over this!

Professor Zhang had gained a lot of face for Peking University!

Zhang Ye smiled as he looked at Xin Ya and Old Wu's team of people. He pointed at the Xuan paper and said, "Is this what you meant by the test?"

Xin Ya was speechless.

The bride's team was speechless.

Zhang Ye said with a chuckle, "So that was the first test? You even wanted me to get it solved before the auspicious time? I don't think we need to wait that long. I can keep writing them all day and night if you want more of them. Do you believe me, Professor Xin?"

He then picked up the brush again.

Zhang Ye wrote and recited at the same time.

"' Shī shìshíshī shǐ. 2 ' Shí shì shī shì shī shì, shì shī, shì shí shí shī, shì shí shí shì shì shì shī, shí shí, shì shí shī shì shì, shì shí, shì shī shì shì shì, shì shì shì shí shī, shì shǐ shì, shǐ shì shí shī shì shì, shì shí shì shí shī shī, shì shí shì, shí shì shī, shì shǐ shì shì shí shì, shí shì shì, shì shǐ shì shí shí shī shī, shí shí, shǐ shì shì shí shī shī, shí shí shí shī shī. Shì shì shì shì."

Su Na explained, "In a stone (shí) den (shì) was a poet (shī shì) called Mr. (shì) Shi (shī), who was a lion (shī) addict (shì), and had resolved (shì) to eat (shí) ten (shí) lions. He (shì) often (shí shí) went (shì) to the market (shì) to look (shì) for lions (shī). At ten (shí) o'clock (shí), ten lions had just (shì) arrived (shì) at the market. At (shì) that time (shí), Mr. (shì) Shi (shī) had just (shì) arrived (shì ) at the market (shì). He saw those ten lions, and using (shì) his trusty (shì) arrows (shǐ), caused (shǐ) the ten lions to die (shì shì). He brought (shí) the corpses (shī) of the ten lions back (shì) to the stone (shí) den (shì). The stone den was damp (shī). He instructed (shǐ) his servants (shì) to wipe (shì) it dry. After the stone den was wiped (shì), he tried (shì) to eat (shí) those ten lions. While (shí) he ate, he realized (shì) that these ten lions were in fact ten stone (shí) lion corpses. Try (shì) to explain (shì) this (shì) matter (shì)!"

Everyone was dumbfounded!

Xin Ya began sweating!

Chen Guang gasped!

Fat Sis could only muster a wry grin!

Everyone was looking at Zhang Ye as though they had seen a ghost!

Then, that was followed by yet another essay.

Zhang Ye wrote and recited at the same time:

"' Rén rén rěn rèn. 3 ' Rén rén rén rén rén rěn rén, rèn rén rén rěn rén rèn rén.[If everyone (rén rén) were a benevolent (rén) person (rén), they would know how to be patient (rěn) with others (rén). People who know (rèn) benevolence know how to endure (rěn) those who attack (rèn) them.] Rén rén rén rěn rén rén rèn, rén rěn rén rén rén rén rén.[A benevolent (rén) person (rén) endures (rěn) everyone (rén rén) who attacks (rèn) them. If people (rén rén) can endure those who attack them, it means they know benevolence.] Rěn rén rén rén rèn rén rèn, rèn rén rèn rén rèn rén rén.[Benevolent (rén) people (rén) who endure (rěn) others (rén) allow (rèn) themselves (rén) to be attacked (rèn). Only those who are benevolent (rén) would allow (rèn) others (rén) to attack (rèn) them.]"

Xin Ya: "...$%^&*()*&^%^&*()! !"

Then came the fourth one.

It was actually a couplet this time!

Zhang Ye's calligraphy was beautiful and dazzling!

"First line: Qí qī qǐ qí, qí qī qī qì, qī qì qī qí.[Mr. Qi (qí) and his wife (qī) were playing (qǐ) Go (qí). Mr. Qi angered (qì) his wife by cheating (qī). Mrs. Qi walked away (qì), leaving behind seven (qī) stones (qí).]

"Second line: Yī yí yí yǐ, yī yǐ yí yí, yí yí yī yǐ."[Yi (yī) and Yi's aunt (yí) were moving (yí) chairs (yǐ). Yi started leaning (yǐ) against the chairs, making Yi's aunt uncertain (yí). Yi's aunt left (yí) one (yī) of those chairs behind.]

He could do it in essay form?

And even with couplets?

Everyone felt like kneeling!

Zhang Ye was getting ready to write a fifth one.

Xin Ya quickly caught hold of him. "Enough, enough already, don't write any more. Consider this your win."

Zhang Ye didn't know whether to laugh or cry as he said, "What do you mean by 'consider this my win,' Professor Xin?"

"You've passed the first test, alright?" Xin Ya rolled her eyes as she had no choice but to announce that Zhang Ye had successfully completed this task.

The guests couldn't help but cheer loudly!

"Good!"

"That was nice!"

"Beautifully done, Teacher Zhang!"

"That was so wonderful!"

"Hahahahaha!"

"Professor Zhang is so cool!"

"He's truly deserving of his top literary award!"

"Competing on literary skills, who have we been afraid of?"

Everyone got a kick out of watching this!

Even a lot of the reporters were covered in goosebumps as they felt that this feat was too fucking awesome!

In truth, even Xin Ya was very shocked right now. The others might not know and thought that this was just them putting on a show. Some of them could even have thought that this was prearranged and that the essays were prepared beforehand. But only Xin Ya and Old Wu's team of friends and relatives knew that they had not discussed this with Zhang Ye prior to now. He did not know that they would set him up with this sort of question. Zhang Ye had really answered it on the spot!

What the heck!

Are you on steroids?!

Xin Ya felt very frustrated. In the field of literature, Zhang Ye was indeed too strong!

At the back.

Zhang Ye's classmates were all having a good laugh.

Hu Feifei said, "Zhang'er is too good at showing off. I give him a hundred points!"

Wang He laughed and said, "I give him a thousand points!"

Xiaoqian said, "I freaking give him ten thousand points!"

Old Wang said in amusement, "This fellow is too good at showboating!"

"But only he can show off like that!" Old Zhou was also convinced.

On the stage.

Dong Shanshan announced, "It looks like the outcome of the first test is a pass. Congratulations to Zhang Ye for successfully making it into the semifinals. He's now one step closer to seeing his bride appear."

Yu Yingyi laughed and said, "Now for the second test, what kind of a topic has the bride's team come up with?"

1. Narration on an Assembly of Starving Chickens on a Rocky Sandbar

2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lion-Eating_Poet_in_the_Stone_Den

3. Patience of a Benevolent Man