Lazy Dungeon Master

A Good Idea

When I woke up from sleeping, Rokuko looked into my face.

“… Why did you sleep?”

“Eh? No, uhh—”

“Sehza.”

“Eh? S-seiza?”

“Un, sehza. Do it. Okay?”

And so I was made to sit in a seiza for some reason. Why?

Even sleeping is no good? I’m a human, I need to sleep.

“Well, why did you sleep? Even though I’m in a pinch.”

“… Is that a biological question? Humans will die if they don’t sleep.”

“Even if you don’t sleep for one night you’ll be alright. You slept just before this.”

No, well, yeah, but… Please think about it. I woke up. Waking up means I did my best against the terrible drowsiness. I even woke Ontentoo up and consulted with him, so I think I did well. Seriously.

I did my best since I was no use in the battle you know?

“Can’t you wake up for my sake too?”

“That’s not it Rokuko. I can’t demonstrate my original specs if I don’t sleep, so in other words, I sleep to power up.”

“… Really?”

“Really really. I think about things while I’m asleep, I even thought about how to deal with our enemy while sleeping.”

“Hmm. So, how will we deal with it?”

Rokuko stared at me dubiously. She crouched down as though to pry more out of me, who was still sitting in a seiza, from above.

What to do huh… ah, come to think of it, Ontentoo said that slimes are kept and trained huh. So that means tamers… couldn’t we go with taming it? Alright, let’s use that as an excuse.

“I heard about it from Ontentoo, but it seems there are these people called tamers… If we tame that black wolf, wouldn’t it turn into an amazing strength for the dungeon? That’s what I was thinking.”

“I see, it’d really be a strong companion. Well, how?”

“Yeah. First, there’s a strong possibility of that wolf being a slime using mimicry to take the shape of a wolf. Also that it was raised before.”

“Un, and then?”

It feels like my excuse caught her attention. Let’s keep it up.

“First we have to know our opponent. We’ll talk to it.”

“… Who, and how?”

It’d be great if I could talk to someone directly using the dungeon’s functions, but unfortunately even if the functions allow for us to hear voices inside the dungeon, it doesn’t have the ability to send my voice to wherever I want. If there were, it’d be convenient for convening for emergencies like this. Setting aside the monster girls, Meat and Ichika aren’t even able to communicate with the dungeon’s menu function.

But I just now remembered that I made a golem that could reproduce voices perfectly the other day.

“… I’ll communicate to it with a golem. If it looks safe, I’ll get closer to some extent and try using [Air Voice], yeah? If it was raised by humans, I think it should have enough intelligence to understand human speech.”

While I was at it, I also remembered that I ‘d learned the wind magic [Air Voice]. It’s been a long time. Since before I went to buy Ichika.

In the end, all I’ve really been using is [Create Golem] huh, it’s really too convenient. I’m definitely a golem expert… That backfired on me a bit this time though.

“Hmm, you thought about it properly this time.”

“Obviously. Who do you think I am? I’m your partner, the dungeon master.”

“That’s right, you’re my partner after all. Sorry for doubting you okay?”

Saying that, Rokuko glanced at the red ring that shined on her ring finger, smiling.

Thinking about if the conversation goes badly… For now, the boss room will turn into a sea of magma and the core room will sink into a sea of lava.

Well, that’s just peachy.

“… I couldn’t come up with a good idea while speaking after all…”

“Nn? Did you say something?”

“Nah, it’s nothing. Ah, can I stop destroying my legs now? I want to go back to sleep.”

“… Kehma? Right now, this dungeon has been invaded all the way past the boss room, I’m in a pinch you know? I’m afraid and can’t sleep at night though?”

And she had me sit in seiza for another thirty minutes.

“This much doesn’t seem like a punishment.”

Moreover, she said that and sat on my thighs. It felt like I’d turned into some kind of floor cushion.

That said, she didn’t do anything else and just stayed sitting down. As expected, I tried to think of a way to start a conversation.

Since there was thirty minutes of silence, I gave up and spoke.

“Hey, Rokuko?”

“I-I’ll forgive you with this much!”

She dashed out of the room.

What did Rokuko want to do there?

… My legs are super numb.

Ah, it turned into a punishment huh. Wait, didn’t she just go with what she said at the start?

*

I went back to sleep after being released from Rokuko’s floor cushion punishment… since I can’t actually do that, I decided to replenish our golems for now.

Apart from the three girls’ favorite variety golems that could easily be made with the single incantation, the haniwa golem has a lot of parts that take time to make.

For now I repaired the stone haniwa golem that had started breaking, upgrading its sword and shield to be made of iron.

Additionally, I remade the iron golem from scratch since it was eaten and completely destroyed.

I didn’t really add any functions to them in particular.

And I thought about it just now, on the topic of it being a haniwa golem, after being made from clay, isn’t it more clay golem-ish than haniwa-ish?

Because of that, I made a simple clay haniwa golem with no armor to relax.

I made it and that’s all good, but there’s no use for it…

… And so I decided to use it as a messenger golem.

In short, it was a golem that was in charge of a thread telephone golem.

First, the golem would run to the other party, and when I talked into the thread telephone golem on my end, it would reproduce my voice on the other end.

Since I can hear voices by using the menu’s monitoring function, it only needs to deliver my voice to them.

Then again, it has nothing to do with what’s happening right now since the other person is a wolf… or a slime.

No, it might be able to talk huh, that salamander’s able to at least.

Still, this string telephone golem was different from a usual string telephone. It was something excellent that could carry my voice along whether or not it was pulled around corners or shut in doors.

The point is that the string telephone is a single golem’s body.

[Receive vibrations in the receiving paper cup and play them back with the playback paper cup.] With that order, it’s able to deliver my voice. It’s the same kind of thing as if I told it to move its left hand just like how I move its right hand.

It’s attained a ridiculous level of convenience, I want a golem telephone line throughout the dungeon. How about I stop being a dungeon master and start calling myself a golem master?

Ah, oops. Right now we need to get through this unscathed.

I looked to see what the black wolf was doing with the menu. It’s still sleeping huh… Maybe we’ll get along?

… Ah, doesn’t the taming success chance go up if you raise a flag like that?

It’s definitely my imagination.