Lazy Dungeon Master-Novel

Investigation Commission: Heaven

(Adventurer’s Point of View)

I, Uzoh, am an adventurer. I am a veteran C-Rank warrior.

Together with my companion, Muzoh, we’ve completed many commissions.

This time we’ve received a commission to investigate a dungeon that went through its [Transition Phase].

“Wasn’t it just a dungeon where nothing but goblins came out? Nothing else?”

“Don’t get careless, Muzoh. Dungeons go under huge structural changes after their [Transition Phase], there might be a lot more monsters now.”

“Geez, you’re such a worrywart, Uzoh…”

Seriously, Muzoh is beyond careless even though he’s the scout.

I know that’s just coming from Muzoh’s own self-confidence though.

“Heeh, check it out Uzoh. There’s an inn by the dungeon’s entrance. They told us about it, but still.”

“We’ll stop here for the night and dive into the dungeon tomorrow, sound good to you?”

“Yeah, I agree.”

The building looked great. We went inside right away.

There was a woman wearing cute black and white clothes on the other side of the counter.

The frilly cloth attracted my eyes.

“Thanks for yer patronage! This is the [Dancing Doll’s Pavilion]!”

The beauty had a Pavueran accent and had features like a doll’s, and… well endowed huh.

I wonder if the ‘doll’ in [Dancing Doll’s Pavilion] is referring to her? I found myself admiring her in a daze.

Recollecting myself, I asked how much it’d be to stay for the night.

It was fifty copper per night per person, so one silver for two people. We rented a room for two.

Hmm, isn’t this pretty cheap for something so deep in the mountains?

It might be pretty severe for newbie adventurers, but it’s a small expense for a C-Rank like me.

“Ah, meals’re extra. Ya can use the bath however much ya want though!”

“Bath? Hooh, so this inn has a bath huh?”

“That’s right~. It’s a hot spring, so a ton’a people can all get in. Oops, they’re pretty popular in Pavuera, but’re they unusual here?”

They’re unusual in Sia, but I’m a C-Rank adventurer. In other villages, including Pavuera, I’ve went into public bath houses.

“We have bath outfit lendin’ services. Oops, for food we got from A-Rank to G-Rank, almost forgot about that~”

“Heeh, so there’s something rare like an A-Rank thing…—!? A-a gold coin…!?”

“That’s right~, the top-class A-Rank meal is the huge amount of one gold coin! In return it’s monumentally tasty! I guarantee it! So good ya might die~?”

A-as expected, it’s out of my reach.

The heck kind of thing is it…!?

“Hmmm, maybe I should just get the C-Rank one… eh, five silver…”

“That’s right~, the C-Rank one is five silver coins. It’s still really good. Do ya wanna hear the details?”

“No, I’ll pass…”

When I looked at the price list, A-Rank was one gold, B-Rank was fifty silver, C-Rank was five silver, D-Rank was one silver, E-Rank was fifty copper, F-Rank was five copper, and G-Rank was one copper.

“Uzoh, I’ve decided. C-Rank!”

“O-oi. That’s the same as the reward from this commission! What’re you doing, wouldn’t that make this a deficit? I won’t lend you money you know!?”

“Hahaha, we should be able to get some separate rewards from this dungeon right? It’s fine then. Hey Ojou-san, what’s your name? When’re you done working? I’m Muzoh, a C-Rank adventurer.”

Muzoh, what kind of pick-up artist are you trying to be? Don’t be so faithful to your lust, oi.

“Oooh~, is that so~, thank you so much for your patronage, take your time~. Ah, what about the Oniiii-san over here? I recommend getting at least the D-Rank~”

“… I’ll take the D-Rank one. Still, a silver for it huh, expensive.”

“It’s just tastes that good… Thanks for your patronage~… Ah, it’s ‘kay if you wanna enter the bath first. Want me to the bring food up to ya later?”

“Yeah, please do.”

“Heeey, at least tell me your name~?”

She pointedly ignored Muzoh as I handed her the money, receiving our meal tickets in return. It seems like we’ll be able to turn them in for a meal when we go to the dining room later. I see.

Then she told us our room number and lent a key… Guess we’ll put our luggage in our room before heading straight to the hot spring?

When we opened the room with our key, the room had a shelf, cabinet, and beds. Though there weren’t any light magic tools, there was a lamp… I wonder if the oil’s sold separately?

… Eh, the heck’s this bedding… cotton?

I heard that there’s a bath, so I was prepared for the bedding to be wooden… ooh, my hand sinks in! Just this alone would’ve been worth the fifty copper.

Yeah, now I’m going to go check out the bath.

There were shelves that took my key in the changing room. This was also in Pavuera’s bath houses huh.

Hmm, so this is the bathing wear? She definitely said we could use them freely. I took my clothes off and changed into the ones for bathing, putting my clothes away on the shelf… Eh, aren’t these better tailored than my clothes? I kind of want to just keep wearing these.

I then entered the room with the bath… it’s really amazing.

It’s a splendid stone bath. Steam rose up from the hot water that filled the bath.

… For them to use so much water so deep in the mountains like this… I wonder if there’s a water source nearby?

Well, that’s probably why there’s an inn here.

I couldn’t wait any longer, so I used [Cleanup] on myself and entered the bath.

“O-ooooh…”

I unintentionally let out a voice… This is so good. It seriously is.

This is definitely a selling point for the inn… other than me not eating yet, I’m already very satisfied.

*

Muzoh entered at some point, it surprised me.

I got out of the bath. I’ll definitely get in again… Well, I use it as much as I want while I stay here huh. Let’s do it again tomorrow morning.

… Hm? What’s with this chair… is that a slot for copper coins?

When I took a look at it, I saw its description written on the wall. It was apparently a massage chair. Was it a magic tool found in the dungeon?

But if I fall asleep while I’m still on the chair, I can’t complain even if someone else rolls me off of it onto the floor.

… One copper for five minutes huh. This massage chair’s caught my eye, guess I’ll give it a go.

Sitting on the chair, I put a copper into it.

After a low humming sensation, the chair suddenly began to vibrate.

O-oooh, t-the heck’s this? I haven’t felt a massage like this before… Oooh, oooooh!?

My body relaxed and I felt myself loosening up, this really is, oooh…

*

“Oi Uzah, wake up. Don’t you know you’d catch a cold sleeping there?”

“Fuoh—!? O-ooh, Muzoh. Ah, looks like I fell asleep.”

Looks like I was sleeping here pretty soundly until Muzoh woke me up. Heh, this massage chair is incredible…

“Hehe, time for some food! Used five silver on that C-Rank meal, I’m starving!”

“Oh? Right, I spent a silver on that D-Rank meal huh. Wonder what the difference is…”

Going to the dining room as we were told, we exchanged our meal tickets for our meal.

We didn’t even have to wait, it was served immediately.

“Here it is.”

A young brown-haired beastkin carried out our meals. She was clothed in the same outfit as that woman who was behind the counter, very cute.

There were a few things served on my square tray… a deep brown soup and bread. And salad. This costs one silver? Well, I can already tell that it’s really high quality food from the smell though.

“For another helping of bread, it’s ten copper each. Then, after the meal, you’ll get dessert.”

“Dessert? Why didn’t we get it now?”

“It’s cold, so it’s not recommended. Do you still want it?”

Cold? The heck kind of thing is it?

Let’s just go with the recommended way for the meal.

“Oh? What’s up Uzoh? Too little?”

“No no, this is plenty enough. So that’s C-Rank huh? That’s a lot.”

“Yeah, mine’s C-Rank, five times better than Uzoh’s! Hahaha.”

As for Muzoh’s meal, it had one more dish compared to mine, a big steak. It also had two loafs of bread.

I’m a bit envious for that thick steak… huh? The color of his soup’s different, it’s white.

“And this comes with dessert too eh?”

“Mine does too… steak, huh. Looks pretty good, what kinda meat’s it?”

“Isn’t this boar? … Uooh—!? What’s with this bread, it’s so soft and tasty!?”

“Rather, it’s white… the heck, this bread’s amazing… oops, the bread’s almost gone before I’ve even touched the soup.”

I brought the soup to my mouth in a rush.

…!? I’m astonished, this taste is amazing. It tastes like meat. Rather, now that I’m taking a better look at it there’s meat in it. There’s vegetables in it too, plenty of them.

“Uoh, the heck’s this, rabbit? … No, boar? Or maybe it’s minotaur…”

“Hahaha, minotaur huh, how would they make a profit from that with one silver coin? Besides, aren’t we the only guests?

“Yeah… looks like the color of my soup’s a bit different than yours… oi, what’s yours?”

“Huh? Mmm…!? Woah, it’s thick, but feels like its weightless. What’s that, milk? I think some stews use it… Aah, right, I ate one in the imperial capital.”

“Looks good. Give me some!”

“No way, this is mine!”

Yeah, this place’s soup is great.

Let me bolt down this salad…!? W-what the, w-what’s with this food? Even the salad’s surprising.

… What’s this dressing? It’s yellowish, and white… oil?

“Oh, yer eatin’. How’s it, good right~? It’s so tasy~. Aah, how’s the [Mayonnaise] that came with the salad?”

That girl who was sitting at the reception sat next to me… Uoh, she smells amazingly good…

“Wai—, sit next to me!”

“Haha, endure~, I don’t like insistent people~. I just felt like explainin’ in my spare time. Lessee, that white soup. An-chan had it right, it’s a soup called a stew that uses milk. Can’t find it much around here, but it’s eaten pretty often in the imperial capital.”

Heeh, so what Mozuh said was correct huh.

“Then that brown stew. Surprisin’ yah? It’s beef stew!”

“… Huh? Beef, as in cattle? Eh, isn’t that for celebrations!?”

Beef, as in the thing meant for celebrations, the thing that you only get a chance to eat at celebrations when old cattle gets slaughtered.

There’re ranches at the imperial capital, and although it looks like you can eat it at other times, it’s crazy expensive.

“W-wait a sec. Isn’t his brown stew better than my white stew then!?”

“Hahaha, it’s not like that at all… That steak, it’s beef. There aren’t many guests now… rather, you’re our first guests, so it’s free as a freebie yah?”

“Woah! … Uooh, th-this is beef huh… it’s worth more than five silver…”

I see, so it just opened. I guess it’s opening also counts as a celebration.

… The meat’s quality is amazing. Is that special as well?

“A-aah, right right. Right now there’s a special, it’ll usually be boar meat. To make sure we’re properly welcome the adventurers that built this inn, we’re preparin’ various things to practice.”

“The adventurers that build the inn?”

“… All I can say is A-Rank adventurers, anythin’ else’s a secret~”

A-Rank adventurers huh… to even kill off a cow, they’re definitely being welcoming.

I guess they’re cooking the extra beef in order to practice.

Still, with these spices and seasonings, even if it’s boar meat instead of beef, it’d still easily be worth the silver.

Even the bread’s great, everything’s worth licking clean.

“Oops, guess it’ll be time for dessert soon. Senpai! Bring it~!”

“Y-es…”

And so the beastkin from before brought us our dessert.

White… no, yellow. It was shaped like a mound and looked mysteriously like a flower from above. There was a brown sauce drizzled over it.

“This is…?”

“S’called [Pudding], a dessert. Aah, this only comes with the D-Rank meal and up, that’s why I recommended it to ya… eat it with resolve… doesn’t it just melt with sweetness?”

Muzoh held it up in his spoon and gulped it down together with his saliva.

The woman watched him with a huge grin.

Plunging the spoon into the [Pudding], I scooped it up. It jiggled back and forth.

And then…

… Today, I saw heaven.