227 Pains and Confession [Bonus chapter]
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CHAPTER 227
Their orgasm had rocked through her, taking her breath away, causing her to fall down on him and hug his already sweaty body. The way they were both drenched, told of how spent their minds were.
Their breathing came out hard and deep but no one moved. They were properly spent but even at that, Xander was still semi-erect.
Not wanting to exhaust her further, plus the idea he had in his mind, he moved his right hand up to her head and began stroking the lovely silvery strands he loved so much, petting her to rest.
“Hmm...” she made a nice sound like she was sleeping as she brought her hands up to his hair as well.
A lovely smile appeared on his face as his lips pulled back in triumph. He not only pleasured her but made her feel happy and satisfied.
It was all for her, he would say but then thinking about it now, she was too far aroused to just be helped through the phone. Well, who was he kidding, he longed to see her and be intimate with her too.
So in the end, they were both satisfied by the whole episode.
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After some minutes, he could tell she was wide awake, so there was no need to be bothered about waking her up. Slowly, he reached between them and got his dick from her undies as well as ridding her of it due to the mess of their cum.
She could still feel him hard and the naughty side of her sprang forth. Biting down on her lower lips, all Jade could think of was to bring pleasure to this man now.
Reaching down for his semi-hard dick, she began to stroke him but Xander was fast. He did not want to complicate things further.
“Jade, pleaseee...” he managed to let out through gritted teeth. ‘She had only just begun but his mind had started working and going bunkers. Neither did it help with the fact that her boobs and perky nipples were pressed against his chest.
“But I... and you... I want it, I want you. I am tired of all this suffering.”
“I do not want to break my promise. No matter the reason. I respect you and that means a lot for me to keep it. I do not break my promises, so please, do not make me lose control. Besides, I do not want you to want me, solely for that reason. I would pass.”
She felt a stabbing pain in her heart at his words. It felt like she was not useful and was worthless to him. It hurt her so much that he did not want her.
Although she knew the reason why, it did not help being rejected by him and due to the fact that they were mates, it was worse.
She did not know why hs rejection would make her feel this way when she should be happy.
Sensing her pain and heartbreak through the mate bond, Xander let out a groan.
He never intended to hurt her in the first place. He just wanted what was best for her.
Bringing his lips to her head, he kissed her on the forehead and then hugged her closer to his body, making her let go of his dick which she somehow forgot she was still holding on to and he smiled.
‘Freedom at last.’ Xander thought.
He did not speak either and allowed her heart to be calm a bit but as time went on, the pain became worse. Finally, he knew he had to let her know this. Know her really felt about her.
“I love you, Jade. I love you for all I am worth in this world and I would love you until the end of time. Even if it becomes the end of me, I would still love you and if there is an afterlife, I hope we get to meet again and continue our love because there is only one person who can occupy and tame my lonely heart and that is you, my queen.”
Just listening to him proclaim his love for her and how his voice reverberated in his chest made her smile and feel flustered. She was in love with this guy and she could not deny it.
Perhaps the future held more for them but notwithstanding, she would be rational from then on and see what would happen and if really his love was as true as he said.
“I love you, Jade.”
Surprisingly, hearing him confess to her like that made her be more calm than usual and all of her worries and sadness easily went away.
‘This is crazy. How did he just do that? It is like my whole being responds to him in ways I cannot comprehend. I really...’
Even in her heart, she was finding it difficult to confess her love for him. Her pain ran deep even to her bones. Rationally she should hate Zale Anders but she could not believe he was part of the whole thing.
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmShe understood everything but the pain was way more than her understanding because she lost.
She lost the most. Lost all she had and all she cared for the most, her family.
“I am so sorry for all my rash and the irrational decision caused. I wish I could turn back the hand of time and make a different decision. I really do but no matter how much I wish it, I do not get it. All I have is a hurt lover.”
He let out another deep breath and felt how her heartbeat had begun to calm down. He was getting through to her.
“And as much as the thought of making love to you is driving me crazy and the mate bond is there, it cannot change what I have done and so I plead your forgiveness wholeheartedly. I can only help relieve you from time to time but I repeat, I would not take advantage of this to break my promise. I won’t build our relationship on such compromise. I love you.”
He shut his eyes and wrapped both hands all around her slim frame on his body, hugging her more tightly.
His fear had started to build and she could feel it all. He was scared he would lose her if things continued and it was one thing he would regret for the rest of his life.
“I really love you, Jade. I am sorry. I wish you can hate me, even more, to compensate for all the hurt I caused you, my love but I am too selfish to wish for your love instead. Please forgive me.”
Just hearing those words, began to burn a different feeling within her and the next thing she knew, her own eyes had begun to water.
She did not fight it back and willingly allowed it to flow out of her eyes.
“I am so sorry and I promise to always be there for you. I regret it all, my hurting you but all I want now is to set things straight and make it right. I want to take all of the pains and worries away.”
SOBS!