Martial King's Retired Life

“What sort of idea is that?” Su Li hugged stupefied Xu Yanran. “You can forget about using Sister Yanran, you hear? Young Master Hua, tell him.”

“… Genius,” Hua Qing declared. “You’re throwing a long line to catch a big fist, huh? You plan to investigate Hero Zhuo through Zhuo Yupin, correct?”

“As expected, Hua Gezi knows me best.” Ming Feizhen performed a small chin raise at Hua Qing.

Hua Qing saluted Ming Feizhen. “Two birds with one stone, nice.”

“Exactly.”

“You’re going to prevent Zhuo Yupin from marrying Yanran.”

“Bingo.”

“Zhuo Fengru wouldn’t stand for his son’s humiliation, so he’ll try to attack you. Then, you’ll beat him and pry his secrets out.”

“Nice!”

“Finally, you’ll marry Yanran, thereby completing your shifu’s task, too! Excellent!”

“Fantastic!”

“Wait. That last part…” Su Li jumped in front of Xu Yanran. “Wow, you scoundrel! Young Master Hua, you’re no better!”

“Miss Su, we should be happy a man and a woman can love and be together. That’s not to mention my brother has a bright future.”

“He’s already taking you to brothels at his young age. By the time he grows up, he’ll be a calamitous playboy. Sister Yanran will become a victim.”

Xu Yanran might’ve been a white sheet when it came to romance, especially when she had to minimise interaction with anyone over the last year, but her face was beet red. Aside from Hua Qing, Ming Feizhen was the second man she spent the most time with. While he was often an oddball, hearing his roundabout confession sent butterflies into her stomach. Fingers interlocked, she muttered, “So that is why you wanted me to call off our engagement…”

Ming Feizhen: “No, don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not interested in you.”

Su Li: “Ming Feizhen!”

Hua Qing: “What the hell, bro?! Didn’t you say you like Yanran?”

“When did I say that?” Ming Feizhen cleared his throat. “Enough games. We need to divide up our jobs. Su Li, how much money you have left?”

“Not much.”

“Use it all, then.”

Su Li widened her eyes.

“Spend it on some invitations sealed with a golden leaf. Hire some famous martial artists and whatnot to act as witnesses. No rush. Just get it sorted before the day after.”

“The day after?! You… you… Don’t you forget this!” Su Li called for her attendant.

“Venerable Kongcang.”

“Amitabha.”

“Escort Su Li and her attendant from the shadows. In consideration of your current predicament, take this sect-special pill. In an emergency, simply threw it into the air. Whatever the threat is, I promise you will be able to come back for a midnight snack.”

Kongcang perused the pill he was handed. “Oh! Based on this special shape of the pill, doesn’t it create this,” Kongcang gestured with his hand, “symbol in the sky? Isn’t this Shaolin’s signal?!”

“My sect lives by the refrain, ‘Their property is our property. Our property is our property. Therefore, there is only one family in under heaven.’ Just use it.”

When Ming Feizhen turned to him, Hua Qing puffed out his chest.

“Go find a bouquet.”

“Your delegation decisions need to be reconsidered, don’t you think?!”

“What is everyone talking about?” The thirty-year-old beauty entered without reserve as she was already familiar with everyone. “Your liveliness has really brought my home to life.”

Su Li conveyed, “We apologise for the unruly ruckus, Lady Zhuo.”

Subsequent to exchanging a few words with Su Li, Lady Zhuo said to Xu Yanran, “Yanrna, I’ve made you a new set of clothes. Come over to my room to try it on.”

“I would be glad to. Your needlework must definitely be extraordinary.” Xu Yanran cheerfully left with Lady Zhuo.

Ming Feizhen long after they left: “Is it just me, or is Lady Zhuo really beautiful?”

Hua Qing: “Bro… even if you suspect the man, you don’t need to go after his lady, do you?”

Su Li: “Exactly. And how old are you? She’s old enough to be your mother.”

“You got it wrong…” Ming Feizhen gave up on providing an explanation since he couldn’t see a way of clearing the air no matter what. “Perhaps it’s my imagination. Else, it’s as Hua Gezi said: there;s a lot more to this family than what meets the eye.”

***

On the day of the bouquet throwing event, the host, Ming Feizhen, focused on eating his pear and pork shoulders soup in the restaurant instead of attending to logistics.

“Ming Feizhen, what are you trying to pull?!” Zhuo Yupin was ready to evolve into a trigger-happy slasher. “What’s going on outside?! Huh?! What gives you the right to hold a bouquet throwing event?”

Ming Feizhen grouched, “What’s it to you? You think you can stop people holding a bouquet-throwing event just because you’re Hero Zhuo’s son?”

“What’s it to me?! It pertains to my happiness!”

“In that case, don’t sabotage it. If you think you have whatever right it is, participate.”

“… How am I sabotaging it when this is my bouquet throwing event?!”

Ming Feizhen held the event in Zhuo Yupin’s name. Consequently, people flocked to the location in droves, unaware of the fact that the host and Zhuo Fengru weren’t affiliated. Even if “Hero Zhuo” wasn’t enough to attract a crowd, the fact that it was the first ever bouquet-throwing event for a man would pique the interests of many people.

“Yes, it’s your bouquet-throwing event, but why can’t I host it? Explain.”

Zhuo Yupin was far too livid for his brain to operate properly. “I, you, I… Marriage is decided on by parents and matchmakers. Are you my parent?”

“I’m your matchmaker.”

“Never hired you!” Zhuo Yupin couldn’t beat Ming Feizhen in a fight, and he couldn’t win a war of words against Ming Feizhen, either. Well, he’d eventually be angry enough to start swinging, only to be bodied, so it made no difference either way. “No matter who the girls you call in are, I’ll never approve!”

“Wow.”

“Wow, what?!”

“Talk too big and you might bite your tongue.”

“I’m a man of my word. No matter who it is, I won’t accept!”

“Say it again if you’re so tough!”

“I said, no matter who it is, I won’t accept!”

“You going to oppose me, are you?!”

“Damn right I am. What can you do about it? Force me to marry a girl?”

“Say that one more time, tough guy!”

“I’ll even say it ten more times! I’ll even write it down!”

“I dare you to write it down!”

“I’ll write it right now!”

Zhuo Yupin wrote down in on one breath, “No matter who Ming Feizhen throws the bouquet to, I, Zhuo Yupin, do not accept the results. I spit in your face, spit, spit, spit,” with the three spit repeats written in extra-large font, accompanied by a literal spit on the way out.

Hua Qing returned shortly after Zhuo Yupin’s departure. “How’d it go?”

Ming Feizhen held the sheet up. “Go tell Yanran to catch the bouquet.”

Glossary

Golden leaf – It’s a replacement for a stamp that seals envelopes.