Martial King's Retired Life

The man slouching in his chair kept shifting around in his chair, yet he didn’t give off the vibe of someone annoying to watch. “Man, shouldn’t you fix this chair? I can’t get comfortable no matter what posture I try,” was the first thing he said at the routine meeting he hadn’t attended for three years.

“I told you not to invite this bugger. How are we supposed to have a meeting with him around?!”

“Say something that makes sense, Ming Huayu!”

“Shameless.”

“Who just took advantage of the situation to diss my brother?!”

“Calm down. Calm down, everyone.”

Yan Shisan: Here we go again.

Yan Shisan tossed a broad bean into his mouth and chewed away, then another… and then another. He had enough time to enjoy fifteen of them before they piped down.

“Brother Ming, if you don’t say anything, this meeting will never end.” Daoist Shenfa was still as composed as ever.

Ming Huayu eyed those at the table, then frowned. “Are we dark lights or something? What are we? Gangsters or something?”

“It’s Tiandao Alliance.”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious. Huang Yuzao, this must be your idea.”

“Every thread is the labour of the people. As the heavens’ enforcers, how can we waste the people’s bread?” Huang Yuzao responded.

Ming Huayu shook his head. “How does you chopping wood in the mountains cost the people their livelihood? Just admit you’re a miser. Head of scholars, my foot.”

At this point in time, the scholars’ faction were predominately focused near the coast of East China Sea.

Huang Yuzao and Ming Huayu didn’t mesh – evident from their constant quarrels whenever they met for the last decade-plus – because the former was upright and strict to the point of being unbearably rigid, especially when it came to rules and formalities, things Ming Huayu had a knack for flouting.

“Today’s topic is your disciple. Don’t change the subject.”

“I never did. Ask.”

“I will.”

“Ask, then.”

“I refuse to ask since you’re the one demanding me. Constable Yan, you question him.”

“H-huh?” Yan Shisan scratched his head. “Okay. Patriarch Ming, you been well?”

“What are you asking him that for?!” exclaimed Huang Yuzao. “I should’ve known better than to ask his mah-jong buddy to question him.”

“So, should we start a war with the unorthodox factions? That’s all I’m interested in.” Like her fighting style, Wen Yiyi didn’t beat around the bush.

“Exactly!” Wen Yiyi’s neighbour, Hong Ba, slammed the table. “Big Bro, just tell me where the enemy is hiding, and I’ll erase him from existence! I’d like to see what a couple of uglies could do!”

Ming Huayu just had to say the word, and there wasn’t a single place Hong Ba wouldn’t march to. While there was no means of proving it, it wouldn’t be far-fetched to suspect it was an innate disposition of Mount Daluo and Beggars Sect if one were to watch Hong Jiu and Ming Feizhen.

“Relax. Relax.” Somehow, Ming Huayu provided light to the cavern with a casual wave of his hand. Whilst glaring at Huang Yuzao, he calmly questioned, “You’re just worried my disciple will find us, right? He’s already gone far, far away. Is there any need to sit in darkness? Is the thing between your ears for decoration?”

Huang Yuzao had no retort.

“The next time we hold a meeting, bring something meaningful to discuss. You think it’s fun to come all the way here? Zhang Tianshi beat me in over ninety games and is waiting for me to win it back.”

“Ming Huayu, stop beating around the bush!”

“Sister Lou, hold up a second.” Ming Huayu lit up a mouth cannon and had a buff. “Wen Darling.” Despite the glare Wen Yiyi shot him, Ming Huayu said, “You’re even prettier than the last time we met three years ago.”

“We meet every three years to discuss the balance of unorthodox and orthodox factions,” Tang Mian suddenly voiced. “Patriarch Ming, let us cut to the chase. How much longer do you think this balance can be sustained?”

The previous leader of Clear Mirror Palace passed away early, leaving behind Tang Mian. The young matriarch had trouble convincing others she was one of the strongest in the north due to her weak disposition and appearance.

“Matriarch Tang, you’ve grown into a fine lady. Most importantly, we need to celebrate this reunion. Give me a hug.”

Tang Mian dimpled. “Sure.”

Ming Huayu beamed.

“Sister Zi visited me a few days ago…”

Ming Huayu started coughing. “One cannot thoughtlessly hug a lady. Huang Yuzao, stop gawking.”

Huang Yuzao flapped his stretched eyes while his mouth hung open. “How dare you blaspheme my name?!”

Hong Ba uncorked a solid palm attack at Huang Yuzao to protect his brother.

Abbess Bai: “Are you children?!”

Wen Yiyi: “We scrapping or not?”

“Wen Darling,” Ming Huayu called.

Wen Yiyi: “What?”

Ming Huayi: “You’re beautiful even when you’ve lost your temper.”

Wen Yiyi openly unsheathed her sword.

Yan Shisan: Here we go again.

Yan Shisan quietly took out a wine pouch and small cup. He enjoyed his first cup, but someone snatched his second drink. He looked up to see Daoist Shenfa, freaking him out.

Daoist Shenfa quietly said, “… Give this one a drink, too.”

“…”

Hence, Yan Shisan and Daoist Shenfa enjoyed broad beans and wine whilst watching the fight.

Tiandao Alliance consisted of only the present groups – except for Shaolin. Because Shaolin had seldom attended as of late, Liu Shan Men joined since they were on the rise. Big meetings were held once every three years; small meetings were held once annually. They were supposed to discuss major matters in the pugilistic world, but they couldn’t keep their tempers in check when their personalities clashed. Usually, Daoist Shenfa would use his Tai Chi to defuse the situation without making an enemy out of everyone. Alas, he was helpless this time.

Abbess Bailou sat back in her chair. “Are you all children?”

Huang Yuzao: “This one… apologises.”

Hong Ba, from the ground, cried, “… Why am I… the only one who got clobbered over the head with the rod…?”

Wen Yiyi rubbed her head. “… Ow…”

Tang Mian: “Why did I have to get hit, too?”

“You deserve it for relishing the chaos instead of stopping it,” responded Abbes Bailou. “Shenfa!”

Daoist Shenfa choked on his wine. “Y-y-yes, coming, coming. How can I help you, Senior Sister?”

“Start the meeting!”

“Ah, yes, the meeting. So, Ming Feizhen transformed into a broad bean…”

Yan Shisan. “Into a Fengpeng.”

“Fengpeng, yes, Fengpeng. What was that about? Brother Ming, what is your opinion?”

Glossary

Dark lights and gangsters – This is lost in translation. Translated literally, “gangsters/triad/mafia…” can be written as “black/dark society”. “Society” can be translated a variety of ways, such as “meeting”, “convention”, “event” and so forth, hence the correction after Ming Huayu’s sarcastic question.

Wen Yiyi – Rather than a glossary point, I just want to point out that you should remember her name going forward.