Martial King's Retired Life

Some things in this world don’t care for reason, such as a romantic meeting between a man and a woman or a breathtaking look at the person behind. Why is it that, even when you close your eyes, you somehow walk into someone’s heart without your guard up? Your melodic voice is still imprinted deep in my mind, tormenting me.

How was it reasonable to clock me awake when I slept in class and make me copy “Analects” a hundred times? It was inhumane. The sun had clocked off for the day, for crying out loud.

“Get on with it! Why do you have so much to say?”

“Sorry, sorry.”

Because it was so peaceful around here, Uncle Huang’s voice was extra loud to me. By the way, it was my fifth time in the principal’s office today. According to my classmates, no student had ever surpassed that record for as long as Uncle Huang had been principal because he wasn’t the type to have a second talk with a student; a second offence led to immediate expulsion.

“I would’ve expelled you already if it wasn’t His Majesty who sent you here. Look at what you wrote. What even did you write?” Uncle Huang rolled the sheet of paper into a ball to throw at my face. “A noble man earns his knowledge… Why did you continue it with ‘in just and ethical ways’?”

“Because he’s a noble gentleman who likes money.”

“This is so embarrassing that I can’t even bring myself to show it to other teachers. You are to come here after classes every day. I shall personally tutor you.”

“No problem.” I set my brush down. “It would be even better if you taught me your martial arts. One of my techniques is infused with some Confucian skills, but some of the variations feel off. What do you think of this move, ‘Kunlun’,?”

“Well, that’s quite innovative. Your variation… You learnt it from Feng Jie, didn’t you?”

“That I did.”

“While the discipline he learnt is an authentic Confucian mental cultivation discipline, Confucian martial arts’ primary emphasis is on cultivating one’s mind, an endeavour that never ceases. He left East China Sea too early. He would be at our forefront had he spent a few more years training instead of letting people criticize him in Luoyang. That technique of yours oozes his style, except the variation is excessively abrupt and sharp, which deviates from Confucian style. You need to read more and train your mind… How did we start talking about martial arts? You little… Don’t change the topic. Get writing!”

Damn, nearly succeeded…

”His Majesty has summoned me, so I shall check your work later. Don’t even think of sneaking off.”

I pretended to keep writing until Uncle Huang was gone, after which I switched to origami.

Elder Confucius, I do not have anything against writing “Analects”. Most importantly, you do not like writing it, either. Else, you would not have verbally delivered it instead of writing it.

Bored out of my skin, I took out the iron seal for decoration and began stamping it on the paper.

The hell is engraved on this thing? Oh, isn’t this script from the Warring States Period? Interesting. How do you pronounce these two characters again?

“Leader.”

I squinted and, in a deep voice, remarked, “He’s finally come, has he?” There was no reason for me to be surprised Hong Jiu came to visit me. After all, I told him to bodyguard me.

Hong Jiu stealthily dove through the window. Maybe jumping through the window despite the door being open fulfilled the desire to feel stealthy?

“Leader, I was held up by some weird stuff that I was hoping to ask you about. What are you writing? What the hell are these two characters?”

“I keep telling you to read more. You don’t even recognize these two characters?” I hiked up and corner of my lips and pointed to two said characters. “Dog house.”

“Ooooh, dog kennel.”

“Exactly. Can’t believe you even asked.” I shook my head in disillusionment.

Hong Jiu flicked up a thumb. “Your knowledge is boundless. You are a cultured man. That said, what did you write the two characters for?”

“To kill time and for self-improvement. Chicken coops, dog kennels and natural scenery is what we, as refined scholars, are drawn to. By the way, what were you saying?”

“Ah, right. Leader, I need your insight on a bizarre case.” Hong Jiu provided to recount how someone lost their property, then blamed him for stealing, made him throw hands and then made him work his gums in court.

I sternly replied, “Second, you can’t blame everything on them. Think about it: anyone would panic if they lost their belongings, let alone getting assaulted after. Tell me what would transpire if we lost something on Mount Daluo.”

“We’d have to throw down to blow off some steam for sure.”

“Exactly. When there is a reasonable response, people’s reactions will be the same. That’s why you were even after you thrashed them. You should just consider the matter settled.”

“I wish I could respect you more, Leader. I must learn to have a heart as big as yours.”

“Stay humble. Stay low-key. Work hard. Your chance will come.”

“Also, what are we going to do about that hanging-upside-down-while-eating thing?”

“It’s okay. I’ll buy tickets to watch. We’ll split the earnings three to seven. Easy.”

“…”

“Have you looked into what I asked?”

“I have. Dark Wind Hall are currently growing the Western Regions’ potatoes and getting by quite well thanks to it.”

“Tell them to save a few backs for me. And?”

“Right. After His Majesty announced you were official allying with the imperial court, all of the people you accosted in the past are preparing to make moves.”

I knew it. There was no way they’d sit still when they had been searching for me all this time. I was in no shape to dine and dash, so… I seriously contemplated hiding out at Daren Academy until I had recovered.

“Anything else?”

“As you predicted, the Seven Champion White Princes have dispatched delegates to the capital.”

“Yeah?”

We were still conversing when Miss Shi came in as if she just ran a marathon. “Ming Feizhen! Come help!”

Hong Jiu grouched, “Miss, how can you address my brother by his name like that?”

“Stop it, Second. She’s my classmate. How can I help, Miss Shi?”

Miss Shi’s face was red, but the condescending aura she gave me was nowhere to be seen. “Zhao Xin’s clique came to our class to start. They’re claiming we stole something from them and insist on fr-frisking us. Wu Dayong and the others stood up for us, and now they’re fighting.”

Oh, well, good luck with the fight, then.

Hong Jiu: “So? There’s nothing illogical there.”

Miss Shi stomped. “It’s not even a fight. They’re just taking a beating!”

Me: “Oh, I get it now.”

“My dad told me you’re great at fighting. Could you… come help?”

“I am obligated to.” I got up and rolled up the sheet of paper in my hand. “What do we read and learn martial arts for? We study and train to enforce justice on behalf of heaven. We shall observe eight hundred deeds of justice. Let us forge forward. Lead the way.”

Miss Shi cheerfully sprinted off. I stopped following two steps forward to turn back. “Bloody hell, Second, hurry up. You want me to march to my own grave?!”

Glossary

“A noble man earns his knowledge…” – Half way into what he was writing, Ming Feizhen switched to another phrase with a similar start, namely, “A noble man earns his wealth in just and ethical ways.”