Martial King's Retired Life

“I know exactly what you’re thinking, kiddo.” I kept cackling to scare to Yan Jiangnan.

“I am blessed and honoured to have the opportunity to witness such greatness. You truly are… are…”

“Stop flattering me. Although it is true, you don’t need to repeat it so many times,” I humbly replied.

Yan Jiangnan let out a long exhale. “I finally realise there will always be someone better when you think you are the best. There truly are too many incredible people to meet in one lifetime. I doubted your claim that you could resurrect the dead, but I no longer have any doubts you can do it.”

Don’t believe that. That part was all hogwash.

I scanned the room, bringing to my attention how much rubbish there was. It’d take me a good while to clean it all up. That was when Yan Jiangnan came to the front of my mind. I pointed to the herbs in the cauldrons and asked, “See those concoctions?”

“Yes.”

“Drink them all.”

Needless to say, Yan Jiangnan reacted confused. As a “demon”, I wasn’t going to explain myself. Instead, I widened my eyes and rhetorically questioned, “What are you waiting for?”

Yan Jiangnan washed down all ten remaining cauldrons of without delay. Although most of them were random things I threw together purely for masking the hair dye and so forth, two of them were actually supplementary formulas that were good for qi. Since he was in the process of regaining his energy, he needed expediency and no pauses. As for what were the ramifications of smashing back all of them at once… I didn’t think dying was one… At least I didn’t think so…

Despite wanting to regurgitate, Yan Jiangnan didn’t dare to. Even if I didn’t like him, I had to respect him. After all, I wouldn’t have had the balls to drink them. They smelt pungent, tasted bitter, spicy and sour. The worst one to drink would also cause stomach issues because it wasn’t intended to be orally ingested. The least worst of them tasted pretty much like mud since I actually added mud.

“I-I finished them.” Yan Jiangnan, drooling from the corner of his smile that someone demented might wear, looked completely out of it. Following a burp, he queried, “Elder, what are they?”

I furtively took a step back, raised my head and pinched my nose. “It’s a secret formula I produced from 7749 supplementary herbs. After drinking it, any pain will disappear. Mosquitoes, bugs and insects won’t bite you. Do you know what it’s called?”

“Mighty power pill?”

“Hmph.” I coldly glared at Yan Jiangnan out of my peripherals, prompting him to stand as straight as a soldier – in spite of how tough it was for him. “Remember the internal discipline I taught you?”

“Yes. I would never dare to forget it.”

“The mental cultivation I had you train is the authentic ‘Sinister Soul Breaker Palms’ mental cultivation. It complements what you formerly learnt, so, once mastered, you can look forward to surpassing your previous self. I would go as far as to say that you can expect to rival your ancestor.”

“Really?!”

Well… If you ask me with that much energy, I don’t know how to answer.

“Of course. Having said that, you need to progress constantly and rapidly. That is why you need pure true qi supporting your endeavour at all times. At the moment, your injuries and fatigue are simultaneously weighing you down. As a consequence, your ability to collect internal energy and true qi are compromised drastically. You think you would’ve progressed so fast without my, uh, qi-breaking-dao-fusion-Nuwa-stone-supplement-of-the-gods pill?”

Yan Jiangnan flapped his eyelids. “I do not recall consuming any pill, though…”

“Uh, that’s the original name. I don’t have a pill cauldron here. The version you drank is the pre-packaged version.”

“Oh, I see.”

I could hear the excitement in Yan Jiangnan’s heart and throat. Who could blame him? He was literally going from hell to heaven, after all.

But… he’s not going to explode on me after drinking all that, is he?

“Now that you know, why haven’t you found yourself a quiet spot? Make sure you train solo somewhere quiet. Go over it several times. The sooner you master it, the sooner you reach your goal.”

Yan Jiangnan saluted and thanked me prior to leaving. I never found out if he was ecstatic over his accomplishment or if he was dumbed down from drinking the sorcery I concocted. Whatever the case, he walked out as if he never hurt his back. I shook my head and ended that matter there.

I only had the remainder of today to solve every problem as the dungeon would be accessible tomorrow. Though I had plans, it was a challenge to implement them owing to the sparse resources I had access to. It wasn’t time to use Yan Jiangnan yet. I could’ve used Ouyang Xiucai, except he wasn’t up to scratch. All using Ouyang Xiucai would result in was both of us perishing.

After pacing around for a while, my eyes made their way back to the hole in the ground again. I had no idea where the passageway led to or who used it. Using it to frighten people, nevertheless, was akin to using a magic item. That being said, if Yan Jiangnan didn’t have his back to me and lacked brain cells, I wouldn’t have been able to pop out stealthily and scare him so easily. I would have to practice the move if I wanted to pull it off against someone smarter.

I threw the stone board as I practiced until I could pull off the I’m-an-unstoppable-wise-adept stunt fluidly – which took somewhere around a dozen attempts. Subsequently, I used Melancholic Sword to make four tiny, inconspicuous holes in the ground so that I could see in four different directions from the bottom. I, of course, put a few holes in the other boards, too, so that it wouldn’t be suspicious. I ended up bending the blade, sure. Wasn’t my sword, though.

Hah, I’m going to scare the piss out of Yan Jiangnan when he comes back.

Hearing footsteps, I immediately hid in the hole.

A mature man crept in and said, “There’s nobody. Nobody will come to this secluded place. Granny Lianhua doesn’t have family, either; nobody will visit her. Zhuoru, it’s time we have a proper talk.”

All of a sudden, Gu Xianxian was able to speak textbook mandarin.

Ning Zhuoru scoffed, “What’s there to talk about? As soon as we’re out of here, we’re announcing to the martial world that we’ve amicably split.”

Me: Wow, boring. I can’t believe they’re talking about this lame stuff when everyone is in trouble.

“Wh-who is he?!”

Me: Oh? Now you have my ears.

Glossary

Mandarin – The textbook standard of Mandarin that Ming Feizhen refers to is that of the north – retroflex consonants.