Chapter 867: Why Now?
Meanwhile, Xiang Wai had dragged Zhai Yanjun but now she looked conflicted
about where to take him. The problem was solved by the manager who offered
to let them use his resting room. Xiang Wai took him there while Zhai Yanjun
stayed silent all the way. He didn't even comment on why she was dragging
him around.
When she entered the room with him, she closed the door and even locked it
making Zhai Yanjun's brows quirk up. He suddenly felt uneasy about this
arrangement. He didn't think it was a good idea to stay in an enclosed space
with Xiang Wai. All alone.
She turned around to see him staring blankly at her and frowned, "What are
you waiting for? Take off your shirt."
Zhai Yanjun tilted his head and she realized what she said sounded a bit wrong.
"What? Are you worried that I'd do something to you?"
"No, I'm worried that you won't do anything to me," he replied with a serious
look.
His words made her look dumbfounded for a moment. She cleared her throat
and said, "Don't talk nonsense. You're scalded by that hot coffee. Look at the
patch on your chest." She was still talking in dissatisfaction as she started
unbuttoning his shirt. "Can't you watch where you're going? Can't you avoid a
waiter? With your skills, it's a wonder how you survived in the army until now.
How did you get promoted to Captain? I should really talk to your commander."
"Lalso didn't think I'd survive for so long in the army," said Zhai Yanjun softly.
Xiang Wai's hands paused for a moment when she heard it. At least, she knew
the real meaning behind those words so she looked up at him sharply, "Do you
still want to die?"
"I never wanted to die," he replied. "If I did, I wouldn't be so desperately
holding on to this life. And I'm glad, I did. At least, I got to meet my aunt and
Fai. I also learned something new about living from all of them. And | also
learned how much I don't deserve to have you."
Xiang Wai avoided his eyes as she pulled open his shirt and looked at the
redness on his chest. However, the other scars on his body were definitely
worse than this scalded skin. How could it be a big deal?
"It's not even a big deal," said Zhai Yanjun as he tried to take a step back but she
was still holding on to the lapels of his shirt. "Wai, it doesn't hurt. If this much
hurt, I wouldn't be able to survive on the border of those snowcapped
mountains. You're really worrying for nothing."
"Who is worried about you?" she retorted subconsciously.
"If you're not worried, why aren't you looking into my eyes?" he asked. "Can you
not do it? I feel stifled when you don't look at me." He took a moment and
added, "The way your eyes only held that other man felt more uncomfortable
than this skin injury."
Xiang Wai looked into his eyes and was momentarily lost for words. She
gathered her thoughts before saying, "You... You never talked like this before."
"Right?" he nodded to himself. "I also wonder why I held back. I should have
been more honest with you and myself regarding my feelings for you."
"Why are you telling me this now?" her voice raised and it was visible how her
emotions were affected by his words. Her mood was so easily fluctuating
because of his presence. All because of him.
"I don't know," said Zhai Yanjun honestly. "Maybe I think it's about time to tell
you this. Or maybe I don't want to keep hiding my true thoughts anymore. The
other day, Fai said when everything looks dark, I should find a guiding light
and focus on that light with all my heart. It made me realize, that in my life,
you had long been playing the role of the light. The light pulled me out of the
shadows that haunted me for far too long."
Xiang Wai lowered her head and continued to look at her feet for some reason.
She didn't dare meet his eyes again. Earlier, when she did, she already realized
that she was losing control under the spell of his gaze. It was a dangerous play.
She couldn't play this losing game. She couldn't extract herself from the spell
of his gaze. So, it was better to run from it.
"Did you come here because you heard about my blind date?" she asked him in
a low voice. "Did you come to beat my blind date or to snatch me away?"
"Neither," he answered. "I honestly didn't know you're meeting your blind date
here."
“And if you knew, would you come?" she asked.
Zhai Yanjun sighed, "I think I'd still come."
"That's so not something you'd do," she said.
"I know, right? That's not something I'd normally do but I had been thinking
about your blind date since I learned about it. It had constantly been on my
mind. I won't lie, when I saw you with that man, I wanted to go up to beat him.
But karma got to me sooner than I could act and I burned myself as you can
see."
"Beating someone for no reason is also not like you," she mumbled.
"They say you lose your rationality in love," he told her. "If you're still rational
while being in love, then either there is no love or you're just fooling yourself.
For years, I stubbornly wanted to hold on to my rationality but it made me lose
my love. So, I don't see anything wrong with acting not like myself."
"You've become talkative," she commented. "That's quite an impressive change
in such a short time."
"You've become calmer," he remarked. "And that's also a remarkable change in
such a short time."
Xiang Wai took a deep breath and said, "Go to the bathroom and wipe your
chest with cold water. Even if it doesn't hurt, you should clean it up. I'll find
you a new shirt.."
Neg