My Father in Law is Lu Bu

Chapter 253 – Roasting Little Chicken (2)

“HOW CAN THIS BE!!!” Pang Tong shouted as another arrow pierced through, burning his mat and subsequently his castle, creating a big hole which distanced around 3 cm from his dick and the ship started to sink. Pang Tong right now is really afraid.

Guan Yu then said “Military Adviser Pang, we should abandon ship!!!” Guan Yu really did not predict that the ballistae would reach their location. Earlier they just want to watch Liu Mang army reviling them nonstop while trolling them, because of that, now they are in grave danger. Pang Tong then shook his head and said “No, we cannot abandon our ships. If we abandon our ships, all that we worked until now would be for naught!!!” Pang Tong then thought This is an unexpected fiasco to my ploy. Now everyone will laugh at me. Pang Tong then calm himself down and ordered “All ships, extinguish all torchs!!!” This man is truly worthy as one of the greatest strategists with his calmness and decisiveness.

“Yes, sir!!!” Two scouts quickly hurried and passed the message. Almost immediately, all of warships extinguish their torch. The first salvo shot by Liu Mang, is only a test fire, to check their distance. Therefore after 3 shots made by each ballistaes, they did not shoot anymore instead Liu Mang just calculating their distances and etc with his telescope and luckily, those three shots found their prey each. Three ships sank altogether with Guan Yu’s flagship among those which sank.

However, as the weather is very bad with fog everywhere, they had no choice but to let the torch stay lit of two of lead warships in order to escape the assault, otherwise, they will not know the direction of their retreat. Pang Tong had changed ship with Guan Yu’s help. Then he ordered to abandon those 3 sinking warships in order not to drag them down and ordered them to speed up.

“Yes, sir!!!” Liu Mang then muttered “So, extinguishing your torch in order to escape eh?! Good thinking, but how long can you last?” That is because when he viewed with his telescope, one by one of torches disappeared, leaving only two ships in front which Liu Mang guessed as their flagship.

Xu Sheng and Wang Wei the reported to Liu Mang “Milord, all ballistae is loaded!!!” Xu Sheng and Wang Wei cannot wait to unleash their anger from being trolled by Pang Tong. When they saw the first salvo hit their targets, they quickly filled smeared all arrowheads with crude wildfire and fill the cartridge with them. Liu Mang then bellowed his order “All ballistae, shoot those those still-lit sinking warships with non-lit ammo, don’t forget to tie a small barrel of wildfire on each arrow!!!” Xu Sheng and Wang Wei stunned and said “Non-lit ammo, Milord? Why? Won’t fire arrows will be more effective, we can send them burning again and again!!!” Liu Mang then just smiled and said toward those three “Worry not, with this method, there is no way they will escape!!!” When Zhao Yun saw that confident smile, he just said “Generals, let us do as our lord said. Yun only saw extreme confidence in his eyes, and Yun sure, they will be crushed as he had hoped!!” With that words, Xu Sheng, Wang Wei and Zhao Yun quickly do as Liu Mang instructed.

[TN: Paragraph of bullshit again, bear with it, ok?] {Among those three, Zhao Yun is the best in archery as he is experienced in mounted archery during his days in Gongsun Zan’s White Riders with Wang Wei the second and Xu Sheng the last.} [TN: End of bullshit] Right now, they held a contest to assess their prowess, they are all shooting those ships with the target being the scarecrows from those sinking ships with the sight assisted by a spotter using a telescope each. The result is Zhao Yun can hit 10 out of 10 targets, while Wang Wei can hit 9 out of 10 ships, Xu Sheng can only hit 8 out of 10 targets and all of them are done from ballistae now. Hoping that the flame from the ship, will help to ignite those arrow-attached wildfire barrel.

On Guan Yu’s flagship. What the hell is Liu Mang’s army doing?! They shot too many!!! Guan Yu is pondering. They had yet to remove the chain-link from three sinking warships, causing Guan Yu to sneer Are they trying to sink us with weight? How stupid and trite!!!

Pang Tong then said to Guan Yu “General Guan, something is not right!!!” Pang Tong had been underestimating Liu Mang big time. A big mistake that almost cost him his life and his genital. Right now, he is thinking a lot, thinking what is Liu Mang going to do. I know there is something wrong with this, but what, WHAT? Thought Pang Tong. Pang Tong admit that he is very smart, but he cannot fathom Liu Mang.

Finally the second salvo arrived at the destination, the sinking warships. This time, it is no fire arrows but arrow that is attached with a barrel of viscous liquid. What the hell is that? Thought Guan Yu. He can see something leaking out of it and saw some arrows had not yet to reach the target, already pouring out the substance.

Third salvo, fourth salvo were shot, each of salvos were attached with wooden barrels. Pang Tong then approached the substance. He then touched it and smell it, he then thought Hmm, very thick and the smell, oh God. Where have I read about this before? After that, Pang Tong eyes widened full of fear, as if just realized something terrible and muttered “This!!! This thing is crude wildfire!!! THIS THING IS WILDFIRE!!!” Where the hell Liu Mang and his troops got crude wildfire? This very thing is produced from Yan Province. How the hell it is here? Thought Pang Tong. Guan Yu saw that and exclaimed “This is our oil!!! Originally we were provisioned by Liu Pi with this for our defense mechanism!!!” Pang Tong did not respond to Guan Yu, he only smiled bitterly and said in his heart This is wildfire, not just any oil. Guan Yu then laughed and said “Hahaha, they want to burn us in the water with this oil? Come on then!!! Water is colder than oil, how can you burn this thing, huh?” Guan Yu’s mood already settled down and now felt he want to taunt them again and again.

I sincerely hope that General Guan is right!!! Thought Pang Tong, while his heart is shivering from fear. He is afraid of what come next.

On Liu Mang’s side. Liu Mang bellowed his order “Deliver the last package!!!” Liu Mang really need to thank Guan Yu for forgetting this valuable thing. This thing’s value is really high and still can be distilled for many applications. Xu Sheng and Wang Wei responded “Yes sir!!!” They are really excited when Liu Mang told them that this thing can burn on water surface. Liu Mang had paid the interest to Guan Yu. Now comes the receipt, Liu Mang then ordered “All ballistae, load fire arrow!!!” With that order, all ballistaes loaded up and Liu Mang said “Fire at will!!!” After that, torrents of blazing fire coming from Navy HQ and when one of them ignite the wildfire, fire raging around their ships, made Guan Yu stunned.

Guan Yu screamed “HOW CAN THIS BE!!!” The intense heat is so hot, that it burn Guan Yu’s beautiful beard. This Prince of Shu is a monster out of this world, how can fire lit on water surface. This defy my logic and any logic!!! Thought Guan Yu. Pang Tong also surprised and thought It is really crude wildfire. Its heat, its intensity, it is exactly what was written in Book of Changes. Pang Tong really want to both cry and laugh. Cry because everything is falling apart, laugh because Liu Mang gave him more knowledge.

Pang Tong then bellowed “Obey my last order!!! WE BAIL!!!!” Pang Tong really not willing to do that. He is now musing How can I don’t have a good ending? KONGMING, I DO AS YOU STUDIED, EVEN I GOT THE TIMING RIGHT!!! WHY!!!! Liu Mang who heard that voice, put out his telescope and thought Bail? Let me see how you gonna bail. Liu Mang had seen that Pang Tong chained all of his ships, much like when Zhuge Liang “borrowed” those arrows. However, now Pang Tong were bitten on the ass by his advice to Cao Cao at Battle of Chibi, as those three sinking ships and those fire, now burning everything in his ships vicinity. Liu Mang just smirked when he saw that.

Meanwhile in Pang Tong’s side. Those chain links really become a headache on Pang Tong’s side. All of his precautions items are dried up and started to burn as well due to all of them drying. Pang Tong exclaimed “DISCONNECT THE CHAIN!!!! QUICK!!!!” While pointing toward the connector. “Yes sir!!!” Responded the soldier and started to chop off the connector but due to its material, their swords and spears destroyed almost instantly, meanwhile the fire is closing in toward Guan Yu’s ship. Pang Tong now panic-stricken and can only said “This, this, this!!!” Combined with delirious thought WHY!!!! WHY YOU EXIST, LIU MANG, LIU HANYANG!!! IF WEREN’T FOR YOU, I WOULD ACHIEVE SUCCESS INSTEAD OF BURNING IN THIS SHIP. Pang Tong still yet to reach 20-years-old, and now he must die in this juncture, this kind of fate is very unwanted by Pang Tong!!!

Those in Shouchun Navy HQ also very cruel, as they all laughed when those soldiers boiled alive because of the intense heat produced by wildfire. Now the scream is not the same Thought Wang Wei who then glanced at Xu Sheng and give the same smile.

Guan Yu sneered toward Pang Tong and said “USELESS!!!” And goes out to the connector. He then brandished his guandao and slashed that connector. That connector finally shattered under that heavy slash, and Guan Yu quickly ordered for what remains of his men, to row the boat as far as possible.

However, as they are rowing away, Liu Mang bellowed “SO, GENERAL GUAN!!!! DID YOU COME HERE WITH FLEDGLING PHOENIX OF JING PROVINCE?? THAT MAN IS NOTHING BUT A CHICKEN SHIT. A ROAST CHICKEN NOW, HE ALREADY BECOME THE MOST FAMOUS DISH OF HUAINAN!!! HOPE YOU ENJOY EVERY LAST BIT OF HIM!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!” The final troll was delivered by Liu Mang masterfully.