My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

Ria Ignis The Love Detective, Part 2

Dude, I wanna die so badly. Adalia please kill me again and end my cringing existence, please.

“Mistress Ria?” exclaimed Ash’s voice, and in my head, I pictured Ria just smiling right at her shocked expression.

I had my ears straining to the max trying to hear bits and pieces of the conversation – in retrospect, I really shouldn’t have done that.

BOOM!

That was my reenactment of what I just heard. An ungodly explosion of both sight and sound that left me utterly shooketh to my bones.

A big bang that has gotten Ash exclaiming even more in a loud flustered voice, yelling, “Wha – M-Mistress Ria?! Whatever are you doing?! Mistress Ria!”

Whatever the hell was she doing, indeed! The heck was going on up there?!

The answer to that much-anticipated question literally came hurling at me in the face manifesting as a fiery blaze bolting in my direction with golden feathers ruffling with the wind.

.....

My eyes kept locked to the gigantic fire-chicken in flight, as it began circling laps around the dining room table, my jaw dropping to the ground in sheer disbelief.

Adalia was tossing and turning around the living room sofa as a result of all the commotion, unfortunately, due to recent events, my concern for her comfort has slightly diminished – scratch that, I barely even paid notice to it.

“This is you asking?!” I shouted. ????????????????????a????. ????????????

The constant flap of wings hovering in place drew my eyes down to an object swinging loosely in the clutches of her sharp talons. A large grey rectangular slab – a familiar-looking rectangular slab. Okay, I understand Ash’s exasperation just now because I was certainly feeling it right then.

“You took the laptop from her?!” I swiped at it, hastily plopping it on the table. “You outta your mind? What part of the sentence ‘she is busy’ did you misconstrue?!”

Wings and talons within a flash and a swirl of fire immediately became smoldering locks of hair and arms crossed against one another standing right across from me.

“What’s the problem? She certainly ain’t busy anymore, isn’t she?” Ria answered with a self-satisfied smirk.

“Well, aren’t you just simply the best.”

“You know it.”

“I’m bringing this back to her, and you can – ”

Buzz off, fly away, skedaddle, or for a more eloquently phrasing- go fack off outta here. So many variations to finish that sentence with, but I never got to. The moment I spun myself around to the path up the stairs, something came to obstruct me from taking another step forth.

More specifically, it was more along the lines of a someone than a something.

Ash stood breathlessly atop the second step, her emerald eyes shifting about rapidly to make sense of the scene that fronted her – Ria in all her smugful glory and me, laptop in hand, awkwardly gawking at her like a shellshocked goldfish without any water.

The only thing that could make this any worse than it already was, was if Adalia woke up from all the noise.

Oh wait, she did!

Peeking over from the couch was a pair of misty eyes, eyebrows slanted and visibly cranky. Goddamn it. My bad, Adalia.

I noticed Ash still had her fingers wrapped around the controller. Just as I thought, Ria interrupted her in the middle of a game sesh… how sacrilegious of an act.

It was like a mom confiscating her child’s game or something, that’s how this scene feels like and it’s a scene I ain’t having no part in, screw that. I know the feeling.

“Uhh,” There I was again, unsure of what to say to break the tension. “Ash, I – ”

“You’re beloved Master over here has something to tell you,” Ria interrupted me, gazing at the utter bafflement in my eyes with a mischievousness in her own. “Don’t you now?”

This little Kentucky Fried Chicken, I swear to God…

“Yes, Master?” Ash spoke out, walking forward, her voice exuding greatly with an air of servitude. “Whatever do you need of me?”

I felt my lower jaw flap about up and down like it had a screw loose, and although my lips were wide open, nothing except air emerged out of it. My eyes were doing all the talking, looking away from Ash’s inquiring gaze to Ria’s, who with expressions alone, kept urging and urging me to take action.

Yeah screw it, got nothing to lose anyway.

“Actually, yeah, I do have something to ask,” From the corner of my eyes, I could see the love detective frantically nodding her head. “You know what? Let’s keep things simple. Do you know what a date is?”

“The date?” Ash frowned, her head turning over to the kitchen where a small calendar was tacked onto the fridge. “I believe it is the twelfth day in the month of – ”

“No, not the date, a date,” I interjected. “Y’know like when – like before. Remember? We went walking around a mall, got to look at cars, even ate some parfait, remember that? That’s a date.”

“I… I see…” She muttered, nodding her head. “And, uh... its purpose? At this date, are we of any objectives to fulfill?”

“No, there are no objectives here. Can’t really say it has any purpose either… it’s just… well it’s just a thing people do to have fun together.”

“Fun?” Some apprehension was present in her voice.

“Yeah, fun,” I said, straining my cheeks painfully with a smile. “It’ll be fun, Ash. What do you say? Wanna go on, uh… on a date with me?”

The next few seconds that followed were some of the most agonizing seconds I’ve ever experienced yet. Seriously, dying wasn’t as bad as the silence that came after my question. Should I tell her to forget it? Do I say nevermind? Can I just run away now, never look back, start a new life, change my name, live like a hermit for the rest of my –

“Okay,” came Ash’s answer, evidently still bemused by the whole thing. “I shall go and ready myself now before we depart for – ”

“No, no, no, not today, Ash!” I said, quickly recovering from her reply. “It’s a bit late for that now. Tomorrow! We’ll go tomorrow, alright?”

Ria’s expression on her face was the equivalent of a mad genius seeing their master plan be executed without a hitch. I half-expected her to start cackling like a deranged lunatic… but no, a wide smile baring teeth was all that was present on her.

“Tomorrow it is, then.” Ash bowed her head. “I shall keep a reminder for the event.”

“Awesome,” was all I could say.

Five seconds of silence was enough for awkwardness to come barging in at us again. Oh, I hated it. Now what?

“Can I… May I have that back, please?”

Ash pointed a finger to the side of me, where the laptop still laid folded in my grasp.

“Oh, yeah, yeah – sure. Here you go.”

Unlike Ria, I was no grouchy mama bear confiscating playthings. I handed the laptop to her wanting hands, no strings attached, and no restrictions to hinder.

“Thank you, Master,” Ash bowed her head again, clinging the laptop close to her chest.

“No problem,” I said, my cheeks no longer strained. “Okay… I think that’s all. Until tomorrow, yeah?”

“Tomorrow,” She affirmed, smiling back. “Tomorrow…”

Ash treaded a few steps back until she reached the foot of the staircase, from there, she took another bow towards Ria’s direction before turning back and finally covering the rest of the distance towards her bedroom door.

The resounding click of her door handle concluded our brief interaction.

Here comes now the interlude, approaching with the tilt of a head and with a snigger barely stifled.

“You guys are so cute together,” fawned Ria, her fingers wrapped around each other.

“Shut up,” I sniped at her while also failing to suppress the goofy grin I had. “It’s platonic.

“Uh-huh, sure it is.” A pat on the shoulder was what this calls for and Ria patted away at me like a proud mama bird to her flying hatchlings.

“Welp, tomorrow’s tomorrow,” She said, letting out a breath. “Yet alas, a love detective’s work is never done.”

“You ain’t done?”

“Never will be,” She piped up, both eyes and legs scouring around every inch of my body. “Fashion. Tsk, tsk, tsk… you’re hopeless. Lucky for you, I went to France. Even picked up a thing or two.”

I shook my head. “I don’t need any fashion advice from a – ”

“Yes you do, hush yourself. We’ll be going out in a bit, prepare for that – in the meantime though...” Ria spun around to the living room, her arms spread far and wide as if hugging a large invisible teddy bear. “Adalia! Pancakes?”

“You… woke… me…”

“I know,” She said in a weak attempt at sounding apologetic. “But pancakes?”

Adalia’s eyebrow gradually became less furrowed. “Okay…”

Damn, when I accidentally wake her up, I get a few hours of pouting and the silent treatment. I gotta learn how to start making pancakes.

“Want some too, dear ol’ Master of mine?” Ria said to me along her way to the kitchen stove.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll bite.”

For now though… looks like I got me some clothes shopping to do today. What fun this will be, I’m sure.