My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World



Entrenched somewhere amidst the manic bustle of everything, between grueling shifts, quiet nights, and the general ongoings of my everyday life, I must have thought of a moment like this enough times to stop bothering to keep track of just how many times I did. 

As busy and active as I've kept myself as of late, there was enough downtime in-between for me to still think about it, to still think about her. Some miracle would happen, a far-fetched contrivance in reality, and I'd drop by Irene's on a whim, only to suddenly find a spunky, snarky Ria blazing forth to a day full of her antics. 

I won't say I've thought long and hard as to what I wanted to say to her. I didn't dare hope that far ahead, but I did know for certain that the afternoon wouldn't even be near long enough to get through everything that needed to be said. 

Well, it's a little different from how I'd tell the tale, but here we are, and here she was - like a literal dream come true. And anyway, it didn't matter even if I had rehearsed an entire grand speech for her for days on end, just being within proximity, I could feel the words melt away back down my throat. 

Irene, on the other hand, was clearly made of sterner stuff, taking the reins of the one-sided conversation and as well the brunt of Ria's sizzling scorn. 

"It's New Year's, Ria," she said, sounding simultaneously cold and amicable. "Do you even still remember the exact day when you fell under? You've any clue how long ago that was now?"

"Apparently, not long enough if that's the case," Ria said, barking back. "Two years, three… I can understand three. But the year hasn't even ended - the hell, Irene? You really aching for me that bad?" 

"Well, it wouldn't really be much of a celebration if I let the birthday girl sleep in, would it?"

"That's the best you got? Irene, really?" she said, her voice suddenly hushed and just on the brink of a quiver. "Happy birthday to me, that's why you woke me up? You really couldn't think of a better reason?"

"Maybe I could, but this is the reason I went with." 

"Oh, so I suppose this is the part here where I get on my knees and thank you?" 

"Ria, you can go back," Irene firmly stated, evidently growing weary of more pointless back and forth. "What we did - it's temporary - a few hours from now, you can walk back into the bedroom, you can shut your eyes, you won't wake up. And before you ask, no - we won't stop you either." 

Finally, something other than pure bitter malice landed upon the angry bird's hardened glare. 

"Is she lying?" She asked, addressing me now. 

"No, she isn't," I hastily replied, building up more confidence with every word I spoke. "We just celebrate this one night together, and then it's all over. After that, you go - it'll be just like this all had never happened.

Again, her expression shifted to something else, and then clenching her lips, she cocked her head. 

"Are you lying?" 

"Ria," Irene interjected. "You disappeared on us. I tried to wake you, and you refused to budge. Left us stranded on our own to deal with the Blight…" 

"So you want to vent?" Ria said, in an infuriatingly condescending tone. "Lash out and have all your frustrations vindicated, alright, go ahead. You're right. I've been a bad, bad girl. C'mon, I'll be your relief." 

"You think I don't understand why you did what you did?" Irene said, then jerked her head in my direction. "You think he doesn't? You wanted an out for so long, a perfect opportunity came, and you took it. I'm not blaming you for wanting peace of mind. I don't care that you left us. I'm fine with you wanting to go. You can go. But, Ria, please… please tell me this," Quietly, and gradually, she unraveled into a plea. "...after so long with you, can't I at least have a proper goodbye?" 

The room had dimmed a little all of a sudden. A little less orange, a little less stifling. From across the way, Ria was no longer as harsh to the eyes as she was before in more ways than one. 

"There, you see?" She said, rising to her feet and leaving behind a charred silhouette that remained comfy on the sofa. "I knew you'd have a better reason." 

Irene stayed silent, staring - I, on the other hand, was left to wonder why she was suddenly walking towards us… and that wonder only grew that much bigger as I found myself staring blankly at her stretching an empty hand out toward me.

"High-five?" I blurted out, the burnt-out synapses in my brain churning out their best. 

"Maybe later when I'm not still so extremely pissed at you," Ria replied, extending her arm even closer. "For now, I'll settle for just a hundred. "

I blinked up at her. "Dollars?" 

"Were you always this slow? I could've sworn you were much sharper before," sighing a little impatience, she tried again, this time, much clearer. "One hundred dollars, please. You know, those little green slips of paper. Give me the one with the one followed by two zeroes. Got a funny-looking guy painted in the middle. Yeah, can I have that one?" 

Insulted and patronized in less than ten seconds. I've almost forgotten what it was like hearing her speak the way she did… and honestly, I'm not sure if I should be happy or upset right now.

Also, what was this? Awake and walking for the first time in months, just barely got done exchanging greetings, if you can even call that a greeting… and the first thing she does is extort me for cash?

In a blur of autopilot, somehow my wallet wound up parted wide open, and my fingers were already plucking out a thin, green slip. 

"What are you going to do with this?" I asked. 

"Actually, I think you might have the more interesting answer for that one," Ria said, swiping the hundred and rubbing it between grubby, greedy fingers. "What do you think I'm going to do with it?" 

"Something I might end up regretting."

"Some snacks, chocolate cake, a bunch of drinks, maybe a pepperoni pizza," she listed off, fluttering the bill behind a quizzical smile. "Any of that sound like something worth regretting?" 

Cholesterol-wise, maybe…

"You guys have me for one night only," she said in a playful reminder. "Might as well make it a fun one." 

"Here - " Irene said, having wedged herself in between us once again, instantly taking back the hundred from Ria's clutches and replacing it with the brazen glint of a sleek, black card. " - whatever it is, just make sure you don't go over three hundred. Is that clear?" 

"Mmm…" Ria gave the card a musing stare, deviousness manifesting in her burning gaze. "Four hundred, was it? Sure, no problem." 

"Three hundred." 

"So nice of you to splurge on me on my very special day," she fawned away, clutching the card close to her chest. "Five hundred dollars. Why, you're simply too kind, Irene. Too kind."

Irene just stayed quiet, wallowing in her seat… knowing better than to argue her way to futility. 

"And also you," Ria snapped back at me. "Don't think I haven't noticed that hanging there." 

Her eyes were narrowed, focused, and far away at an angle from ever meeting mine. I knew what she was referring to, where her stare had drifted… I shifted in place, my necklace swaying along… and her gaze followed. 

"When I get back," She looked away, strode away, huffing and puffing all the way to the front door. "I have a feeling we'll have quite a lot to chat about."