Pay With Your Heart

Chapter 295: Denial

Up to something? Eun-Sun looked at her confusedly. She didn’t understand what she was trying to say. And since when did she start paying attention to A-Yeong again?

“What has she done again?” Eun-Sun asked as she lolled on the sofa.

“Is not about what she has done, but about what she’s about to do,” Hei-Ran replied as she turned to Eun-sun. She hissed when her eyes fell on her. She looked so frail and tired.

“He didn’t see you today as well?” She asked while Eun-sun shook her head, a ruly look appearing on her face, as tears pooled in her eyes.

“I think he really meant it.” She said in a teary voice as she raised her hot and cloudy eyes towards Hei-Ran. “Hei-Ran, I think Dan-Han has left me.” Tears streamed down her face as she voiced out those words. Heaven knows just how much she had tried not to believe those words Dan-Han had said to her. She had told herself repeatedly that she had just imagined him saying those words to her, but she knew she was in denial. She has been in denial about everything. Denial about Mrs Lee’s death, and about Dan-Han breaking up with her.

Hei-Ran stood up from the floor and sat by her side. She sighed as she wrapped her hands around Eun-sun. She had never seen her like this before. The girl who had little care about the world or about the humans who lived in it was now broken and always in tears. Her heart broke for her in so many places.

She had been happy when Dan-Han came into her life and changed her. He broke her high-cold walls, warmed up her heart, and made her friend feel human again after several years of shutting herself away because of the abuse and rejection she had suffered. But now? She didn’t know. The old Eun-sun was someone she didn’t want to encounter again.

.....

Eun-Sun sunk into Hei-Ran’s arms as she gripped her dress. “Hei-Ran, I don’t know how to cope with all this. Mrs Lee is gone and it’s all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault, Eun-sun,” Hei-Ran told her, but she shook her head as more tears fell from her eyes.

“Hei-Ran, I can’t live without Dan-Han. He..he completes me, I... I’m just a broken shell without him. I...I can’t-” She choked on her words as she sobbed.

“Shh... it’s okay.” Hei-Ran comforted her, her hands gently patting her back while Eun-sun cried even more. “Dan-Han loves you. And even if you don’t believe in anything right now, believe in your love for him. He’ll be back, just let him blow off some steam, okay? Just give him some space.” Hei-Ran encouraged her. while Eun-sun nodded.

Maybe Hei-Ran was right. She should give him some space. Showing up at his door every day might only anger him more. But would giving him some space work? What if she completely lost him? She shook her head to get that thought out of her mind. She wasn’t going to lose him, never!

She was going to occupy her mind with something else, for the time being, to give him the space he needed.

“Eun-Sun’s you should eat something. You’ve been eating less these days.” Hei-Ran told her as she looked at her frail face. But the stubborn girl shook her head. She didn’t have an appetite for food or anything else.

.....

The past few days have been nothing but hell for Eun-sun. Each day she watched him from a distance as he went about his duties at the company. He hadn’t even cast a glance her way, and each day it dawned on her that this was probably the end of their relationship. Mrs Lee’s funeral was just two days away and she had heard about it from her colleagues. She wondered how he was holding up.

She contemplated going to his office to try seeing him, but she tossed that idea out of her mind. She decided to wait till he left the company.

Hours she waited by the side of his car but he didn’t. Her legs were beginning to feel sore but she waited. She just wanted to see him and ask him how he was faring. Maybe she already had the answer to that, because it was obvious he wasn’t doing well, but she wanted to hear his voice. See him eye to eye.

She crouched down and leaned her back by a pillar when she couldn’t stand anymore. She rested her head on her arms as she waited on that spot till her heavy eyes gave in to tiredness.

Eun-Sun didn’t know how long she had waited or slept on that spot when she felt something trail down her face stirring her up from sleep. Her eyes fluttered open to see a familiar pair of shoes in front of her. Her eyes slowly trailed those long pair of legs to that firmly broad shoulders, till they landed on his face causing her heart to skip.

“Dan-Han?” She whispered as she stared at him in surprise. She jerked up to her feet in a rush, almost losing her balance as her feet felt numb. She held the pillar behind her to stabilize herself as she looked him over. She couldn’t believe it. He was standing right in front of her after so many days. Eun-Sun had just one urge, and that was to run into his arms and hug him tightly.

“Dan-”

“What are you doing here?” He interjected her. His voice sounding so cold, Eun-sun felt a needle prick her heart.

“I-I was waiting-”

“Park Eun-sun go home. It isn’t safe to sleep here. You-” He paused. Eun-Sun anxiously waited for him to continue but no words came from him. They both stared at each other silently.

When it was obvious he had nothing more to say, she spoke. “How are you?” Her voice sounded low and nervous. She watched as he gazed at her hesitantly before replying.

“I’m fine.” A small smile split her face. Though she knew his words weren’t 100 per cent true, it was good to hear him say that. She nodded at him.

“I just wanted to hear that.” She forced a smile, as she bit her lips from quavering so the tears in her eyes wouldn’t roll down. Dan-Han stared at her without saying a word.

“I’ll get going now. You should eat more and take good care of yourself.” She muttered. She paid him one last look before turning around to leave. She had so many things she had wanted to say to him, to ask him, but seeing him standing right in front of her, she felt blank.

She walked a few steps away when he suddenly said something. “Mother’s funeral-” He paused as she hastily turned around to look at him. He stalled for a while before he continued, “You should come.”

Not sure of how to respond to that, Eun-sun nodded. This had been one of the reasons she had waited for him. She wasn’t sure if he’d want her there after what she had done.

“Thank you.” She said. He nodded when he saw the appreciative look on her face. He had nothing else to say, so he turned around to leave.

Eun-Sun felt her lips tremble as he walked away. She wanted to let him know that...

“I miss you Dan-Han.” She blurted out making him halt on his spot. Her grip over her bag tightened as she stared at his back. But she hadn’t planned on saying that to him, but she couldn’t help herself.

“I miss you very much, and I know I don’t want to hear me say this again, but Dan-Han I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt the one person that means the world to me. I’m truly sorry.” She pursed her lips as her eyes remained on his back that was still turned against her. Her heart skipped when she saw him turn, but he stopped halfway. His head halfly turned towards her. She waited with bated breath to hear his response, but all he said was,

“Goodnight, Eun-sun....and don’t wait here anymore.”