Pay With Your Heart

Chapter 83: Learn To Live

Hei-Ran And Eun-Sun’s Place.

Hei-Ran and Eun-Sun both sat down at the dinning table, which only had two seats, as they had their breakfast.

Noticing the hesitant look on Eun-Sun’s face, Hei-Ran sighed.

“You know you have to go” Hei-Ran said as she spread the butter over the bread. Eun-Sun glanced at her briefly but didn’t respond. Hei-Ran continued. “Are you really sure you want to miss another one of granma Mae’s remembrance” Hei-Ran asked again, making Eun-Sun looked at her again, Hei-Ran could see she was struggling to make her decision about visiting her grandmother’s grave side.

“I don’t know” Eun-Sun replied with a sigh. She really didn’t know if she should go to visit her grandmother. She was too embarrassed to do that. Yes her grandmother was dead, and has been dead for a very long time but that doesn’t change the fact that she had failed her. She had disappointed her own grandmother, so how could she show her face there.

“Then the answer is, you should. That’s enough with all the hiding.” Hei-Ran spoke firmly. She dropped the knife and bread in her hand and stretched out her hand to cover Eun-Sun’s hand.

“I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, because pain is subjective, but I do understand you. Eun-Sun you have to let go of all the guilt, it’s eating you up. That woman took care of you when your father left and your mother couldn’t. I know you still haven’t accepted her death but you have to. It’s been too long, you have to move on. You have to let go of all this self blames, it isn’t good for you” Hei-Ran told her, making Eun-Sun Sigh exasperatedly. When Eun-Sun didn’t say anything she continued.

.....

“Learn to stop killing yourself with guilts. Eun-Sun I know you. You have to stop blaming yourself for her death. There was nothing you could have done for her. You barely graduated at the time and had no work to pay for her surgery, but you tried your best. You fought hard for her. As a teenager you’ve carrying too much responsibilities even the ones I wouldn’t shoulder in my entire life, you’ve been catering for everyone and always blaming yourself for their misfortune but you should let go. I watched you cried and keep wake for three whole days when she died, to me that was enough to let go of any guilt you felt towards your grandma. Her son, your father didn’t look back when he left, neither did he feel guilty towards his own mother so stop beating yourself”

“My father didn’t leave because he wants to, and I’m sure he doesn’t know about grandmother’s death” Eun-Sun said in her father’s defence. She didn’t like the was Hei-Ran talked about him.

“Babe, you’ve got to stop defending him. He had no right to leave you with all the debts and responsibilities he left behind. Do you even know how terrible your life have been? You’re twenty five and would be twenty six soon, you haven’t had a boyfriend, you’ve never been to a party, you barely have good stuffs, you hardly let yourself to be happy, you take care of your mother who has countlessly brought you troubles, do you want to tell you how many times those mobsters from the game house had beaten you up because of your mother’s debt, do you want me to remind you how many jobs you had to work at the same time in school just so you could pay debts and take care of your home, which your father failed to look after...”

“That’s enough!” Eun-Sun snapped.

“No it isn’t. I have to tell how bad you’re treating yourself. I’m your friend, no you’re my sister so it’s my responsibility to tell you the right thing” Hei-Ran could no longer hold herself back. She had to tell Eun-Sun. The poor girl was trying so hard for people who didn’t appreciate her, and was slowly killing herself with guilt and responsibilities which aren’t hers to bear. ????????n????ℯ????????. ????om

“stop doing all this and just fucking live Eun-Sun. Live! That’s what most girls our age are doing out there. Stop blaming yourself for things you didn’t do” Hei-Ran angrily stood up from her seat.

“And better pay that woman a visit” She roared. She picked up her bag from the couch and stormed out of the sitting room. She hailed a cab down and hopped into it.

She didn’t mean to lash out Eun-Sun, but she had no other choice. Eun-Sun needs to know the truth and begin to live her life properly.

Hei-Ran looked out the window, she was already feeling bad for lashing out on her best friend like that. But she wanted her friend back. The girl which she had met twenty years ago. Yes that’s how they’ve come.

The Eun-Sun she knew then was a girl who had the brightest smile, and the cutest laugh. She could play with any care for the world, bringing smiles to people’s faces with her cute, funny antics. That was the girl she loved.

But now, she had turned in to a working machine. Void of emotions and completely filled with guilt. Now even she smiled or laughed one could see theu never got to her eyes. She just wanted her girl back. It’s been far too long.

Hei-Ran was jolted back to reality by her ringing phone. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw who was calling. It was the maniac boss.

“Hello boss” She said the moment she answered the call.

“Where are you?” He asked.

“On my way to the office now”

“You’re five minutes late. You know how I hate being late” He said in an angry tone. Hei-Ran rolled her eyes thankfully he couldn’t see her.

“I know sir, I’m sorry sir” Hell no she wasn’t sorry. If only she could make him wait a thousand more minutes.

“Don’t be sorry bring your ass here now” He snapped before ending the call.

Hei-Ran hissed when he ended the call.

“Psycho” She cussed.

She had only lowered her phone from her ears when message came into her phone. It was from her mother.

It read...

‘Don’t forget to come as promised. Or else’

Hei-Ran groaned out in frustration. Her mom and boss were going to be the death of her.

......

Hey Lovelies....I’m so sorry for posting a different book yesterday. I was sick and I could barely open my eyes, thus the mistake. I couldn’t replace it last night, because I still couldn’t edit till this morning. I’m super sorry.

I hope you forgive me.

Fixed date for mass release is Saturday..