Surviving in Woman's world as a novel villain.

Chapter 234 232. Worst Of Worst

Rage, Fury, Disgust, …And Disappointment.

These emotions occupied my mind and heart. The heart which was breaking into 1000 pieces just by hearing his wailing a moment ago now was suddenly unbothered.

Tears which were wailing up in my eyes also halted. My whole being felt like it is frozen in time, everything felt unreal. What is this mirage of emotions? I don't know.

I am angry and yet I was not, there was raging fury in my heart but against who? I don't know

lightsnοvεl The strong disgust that urging me to throw up is there but what is so disgusting? I have no idea.

Even the strange helpless disappointing aura covering me has no reason for why it is there, I don't know anything, anything at all.

It's a weird kinda sensation, I care and I don't, I hate and yet I love, I disgust and yet willing to go towards it, What is this? I am going insane?

Why do I have a strong urge to grab Alex and throw him in the soap water and wash it thoroughly and at the same time I don't want to do that? I think I am losing my mind.

"Maybe that is why I lost control over my actions, I didn't want to do that with Aunty Gloria this soon but after I used a Fairly blessing skill on her to heal her completely, I felt black in front of my eyes.

My body felt too weak to even stand, There was a burning feeling as if my body was set on fire and then I saw Aunty wake up, After that my instincts took over, I was aware of what I was doing but wasn't able to stop myself from tarnishing aunty's image that way."

When I was going to lose my mind, I heard those words breaking me out of that spell of mine, It took a minute to actually comprehend what he said but when it hit me, An overwhelming guilt took over me.

"Why am I like this? I knew he couldn't control himself, It was just a primal instinct that took over when his life was in danger and yet I…I blame him? Isn't he the victim in all of this? He did not choose to be that way, He was just born that way with a cursed boon."

It dawned on me what I was doing hearing his words, Lots of mixed emotions wailing up from my heart, While those negative ones were fading away as they came in the unknown.

Yeah, How hypocritical of her to feel this way towards Alex when she might be the closest person who understands what he is going through.

Didn't she also lose control like this one before? Didn't she so desperately want someone to understand her, ask her, feel her trouble and if can't help at least stand aside without pushing her down while he was dealing with her demons?

Isn't this what Alex should be feeling right now? No, he should be feeling more as at least there was her understanding group beside her when that happened but he has none, he is just fighting that battle alone.

A soft weal man was doing this for who knows how long without asking for help while she as a strong powerful woman nearly broke down even with the support from her friends by emotional baggage.

She should be the one who understands him the best as she herself has gone through a similar experience and yet other than doing that she felt disgusted, repealed by the thought he was doing with others while she did a lot worse than simple consensual sex.

Can there be any bigger hypocrite than her?

"No wonder bad things always happen to me, I indeed deserve all that comes towards me, Mom was right, I am a black-hearted woman."

I lost all my chaotic emotions and I guess I got the enlightenment as I realized, I am the reason why bad things happen to me, I am the worst of the worst womankind there is.

I want everyone to understand me, like me and love me for who am I but when it's my turn to do the same, I hate it.

'No, It can't go on like this, If I would lose him if I keep ignoring his plea for help, Let's deal with that urge to control things later, First making sure he knows I understand and with him is the main task, Everything can be and would be done later.'

I clenched my fist and decided to support him. If I have to handle a few sights of him engaging with others sexually for that to happen then be it.

I will not deter away just because of it, Anyway it would not be that long till they come here and check him then there would definitely be a solution on how to control his primal urges, Then she doesn't have to share him with anyone, He would be only mine and mine alone.

After all that I decided I pulled out my make-up kit and quickly gave a touch up to my face. Though I hate the make-up but this time is an exception.

Then after doing that, I took a deep breath and I, with swift motion, entered the ward hurriedly.

——— End Of POV ———

While Sandra was going through the stuff, a figure in the dark , which was obviously a puppet of Belladonna, was monitoring Alex making sure something would happen to her previous man.

Though she was more fascinated then worried about Alex as she seeing a weird kind of power unknown to her running through him giving him healing ability.

But in her eyes that power is not only for that, healing should be just one of the side things that power is capable of. The main thing should be different but she could not find what is the main ability of that power in him.

It's given that it is related to the dual cultivation technique as that power only comes up and becomes active when he touched that damn filthy woman but the nature of the power in itself is hard to guess as power like this never appeared in the world, especially in man.

'Further observation is needed to unravel my cute baby's secret.'

A puppet spoke up in a grim voice which was more unpleasant to hear than a nail scratching on the blackboard. It's physically hurting the ears as the undead puppet is not fully able to contain the power of Night Empress and so it is leaking through the speech of the puppet.

The overly obsessed tone did not help a bit giving uncanny feelings there. These words were supposedly uttered in love but you feel this is not the case.

"Huh!? Now who is she?"

The puppet stopped monitoring Alex for a second when it sensed the presence of another person, who was somehow ignored by her before.

"Seems like she is trying to steal my Alex? She does not look like someone with family power like our nor that close to Alex, Should I just end future there-*Pang*"

Belladonna saw through Sandra the eyes of a puppet. In her eyes Sandra should not have any powerful family backup because she know every important and powerful peoples and families, Sandra does not belong to any of them.

So she thought why keep the cockroaches around to taint her lovely Alex, Just squash it before it becomes annoying but just as that thought arises in her mind, There was a pang in her hearts.

This was a warning sign exclusive to S-rank warriors, This told her to stop whatever she was doing or she would die.

For the first time after Belladonna gets this feeling aside from that one monster making herself seated in the capital feel a forgotten emotion named fear.

(A/N : Sorry for the little break, It was festival season here so there was that, don't worry update will be normal like before now.

Like always thank you for reading and have a good day ????.)