The Abandoned Empress

“Oh, you’re welcome. Thanks to you, I learned lots of things back then. So, I would like to thank you, too.”

“Well, I was clumsy in many ways. Thanks for saying so.”

“You’re welcome, Lady Monique. Um…I’m not sure you can believe me, but I really like and respect you.”

I was a little embarrassed when she kept looking at me, with her eyes sparkling. When I adjusted my uniform to shake off my awkwardness, she asked me, staring at me blankly, “Isn’t it hard for you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you are now doing two things, right? Taking care of the housework and training to be the full-fledged knight. Although there are female knights, there are not many of them. I think as a female knight, you might have many setbacks…”

“Well, it’s my family business anyway.”

“But Lady Monique…”

“Pardon?”

“Oh, nothing. Anyway, I hear that they are reorganizing the knights divisions, right? That’s the biggest news in social circles these days.”

During the late emperor’s days there were five knights divisions, but they were reduced to three because of the emperor’s dramatic purge, which caused lots of problems. As they recruited mainly those knights skilled in fencing only, there was a big deficiency in the administrative work. Even if there were an excellent pool of apprentice knights, the government could not hire them because there were no available slots for them.

Accordingly, there was much discussion of the need to reorganize the existing knights divisions, but the friction of the rival factions made it impossible until now. Only now did the current emperor accept the reorganization plan, which excited lots of young men from the noble families who had been waiting for such a golden chance.

“I can understand their moods. You know they have been waiting for this chance for a long time.”

“Really? In fact, I don’t know much about this field.”

“Well, young ladies are not interested in this field, of course. Anyway, two marquises are supposed to settle in the capital once they create the two additional divisions. I expect lots of changes will take place in social circles.”

“What do you mean by the two marquises?”

“I’m talking about Marquis Enesil and Marquis Mirwa. I hear they will be in charge of the new divisions respectively.”

“Marquis Enesil, too?”

Although I said it inadvertently, she reacted with delight.

I narrowed my eyes and looked at her.

‘Why is she happy about it?’ Come to think of it, she blushed, too.

“I think he is great, given he’s becoming the captain at such a young age. I met him recently. I was quite impressed with his dignity. When he talks about something with a small voice, with his eyes sparkling, lots of young ladies find themselves carried away with his story.”

“… Really?”

“Oh yes. Besides, when his bright white-blonde hair is reflected in the light, it really sparkles like melted gold …”

I sighed deep down, watching her praising Marquis Enesil.

What kind of position is she in now? Did she forget she is a candidate for the emperor’s concubine? Besides, she is supposed to exercise her power as the empress, not his concubine, to keep Jiun in check? How could she set her mind on some other man than the emperor?

“Lady Whir.”

“Yes?”

“I hope you won’t mention him at other places.”

“Ah… ”

“As the emperor is very much interested in you enough to call you on a regular basis, it is certain that the noble faction will try to put you down. In such a situation, you don’t want them to find any fault with you, right?”

“Ah, yes. You’re right…” She closed her mouth slowly, nodding at me.

I swallowed a sigh again in an awkward silence. I supported her because she seemed to be ambitious, but she was too naive. I wondered if she could deal with the noble faction’s attack.

I felt a bit sorry because it was me who pushed her in a situation like this.

I had no problem causing trouble for Jiun, but I wondered if I could do something bad to Grace.

Perhaps I am sacrificing the wrong person again to avoid repeating my destiny.

“… I’m sorry, Lady Whir.”

“Pardon? Oh, no. You don’t have to. I would like to thank you because… ”

“Pardon?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. By the way, why don’t you visit social circles in the capital again? I know you sometimes visited social circles in the past. But you haven’t appeared at social events at all these days.”

“Well, I was too busy recently. As you know, I had the coming-of-age ceremony and other stuff. I didn’t attend social events with the intention to avoid them. By the way, it’s strange. I clearly told Frincia in advance why I couldn’t go to social circles…”

When I explained to her with a puzzled expression, she nodded as if she could understand my situation and said, “Oh, that makes sense. In fact, Mrs. Lars didn’t come to social circles for a long time.”

“Really? What do you mean? Why hasn’t she come to social events?”

“Pardon? Isn’t it because she is pregnant? I hear her time is near now…”

“Wait a minute. Is she pregnant?”

When I asked, cutting her off quickly, she bowed her head with an embarrassed expression.

When I saw her, something suddenly flashed through my mind.

‘Now, I know.’

In fact, Frincia and I have been exchanging letters at least once every 15 days since she got married to Sir Lars. But it was very unusual that I didn’t know that she was pregnant in such a situation. This meant that she omitted writing it down in her letter on purpose.

I sighed somehow.

‘Maybe she did it, taking my situation into account.”

As she was kind and considerate, it was obvious that she would be reluctant to tell me about her pregnancy because I was told that I could not be pregnant for the rest of my life. Because of that, she might have missed the chance to talk to me.

Although I felt heavy, I smiled brightly at Grace on purpose. I didn’t want Frincia to feel guilty because of me. Why should she try to check my expression when she didn’t do anything wrong to me? Rather she should be blessed by everybody, including me.

“Oh, that’s very good news. Good for her! I think I didn’t hear about her much as I was too absent-minded these days.”

“… ”

Did she notice my expression changing?

Although I talked to Grace with the brightest tone, she checked my expression anxiously, “When I see Frincia next time, I think I must apologize to her a lot. As a friend of hers, how can I not know she is pregnant? I don’t know how bad she feels towards me. Do you know any good way to appease her?”

Although I spoke to her calmly, I knew my heart felt somewhat lonely and empty.

Why am I acting like this? Even though I lost a baby in the past, I was disappointed at the fact that I lost the connection with him, but I wasn’t sad because I lost a baby.

As if she noticed my mixed feelings, she opened her mouth after hesitating for some time.

“Well, Mrs. Lars is not the kind of woman who would feel sorry for this kind of thing. So, you don’t have to worry about it.”

“Really? Still, I’m afraid I was indifferent to her for too long. Thank you, Lady Whir. Without you, I think I would have committed a bigger sin against Frincia.”

“Oh, no.”

Only

“Oops, you asked me to call your name, right? I forgot. I was too absent-minded. Sorry, Grace.”

When I spoke gently, Grace shook her hand, with a very bright expression, saying I didn’t have to feel sorry. Given that she looked brighter than a moment ago, she seemed to be nervous that I was calling her last name on purpose to express my displeasure with her.

After Grace left after chatting with me about various things, I took the documents I had brought from the palace in the morning when I went there and headed for the government building. When I entered the office, the man with green hair, who was examining the papers with an exhausted look, said, “It’s been a while, Lady Monique. I have to take care of something urgently. Can you wait for a moment?”

“Yes, I got it. Duke Verita.”

I nodded lightly and sat down on the sofa in the middle of the office. After a while, the duke came to me after signing the papers he was reading and stamped the seal on them.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting. So, what business has brought you here in person?”

“I came to see you because there was a question.”

“Question?”