The Abandoned Empress

When I left my estate for the capital, I had an unforgettable time with Carsein at the place where I had to stop because the wheels of my wagon got stuck in the mud. It was a golden-colored field under the sparkling autumn sunshine, and Carsein’s hair scattered by the wind was burning like a flame. How can I forget the scenery of that day that was so peaceful and beautiful?

“In fact, I was going to ask you to go there with me, and I had something to tell you there. But I don’t have to do it. So, it’s okay. Do not care about it.”

I was bothered by his lonely voice when he said that. Why did he say he didn’t need to go there now? What did he want to say?

When I looked at him with anxious eyes, he quickly changed his facial expression and said with a smile, “Isn’t it time you should leave? It looks like you’re on your way back home.”

“Oh, yes, I should. But Sein…”

“Let’s go. I don’t think I can escort you far, but let me take you to the wagon. ”

He got up and reached out. As if he no longer wanted to talk with me, I could read his determination on his face.

The moment I raised my body, holding up the urge to ask more questions, something sparkling came into my eyes. It wasn’t a rose-shaped ruby ​​button he always wore, but a golden cufflink engraved with the crest of the Lars family.

I was now in a more subdued mood, since I heard about my father and the duchess. I thought something was strange, but I couldn’t have the heart to ask him because he was so different today..

I barely moved my heavy legs out of his house. It was getting dark already, and when I looked around, I saw a wagon waiting on one side. I said, walking towards it, “Goodbye, Sein. Take good care.”

“Oh, goodbye!”

When I was about to turn after smiling at him who was waving at me, he suddenly held me and said urgently, “Hey, Tia.”

“Ugh? Why, Sein? ”

“You know, so…”

“…”

“…Oh, never mind.”

Hesitating for a long time, he let go of me with a smile. I felt heartbroken, seeing him stroking my head gently, seeing how mellow he was now.

What the heck? Sein, what’s going on?

I waited for him to talk because I felt something strange, but he just stared at me with his subdued eyes and spoke nothing.

I hesitated, checking the expression of the knights waiting for me. I have to go now, but I couldn’t leave because I was bothered by his so different attitude today.

“Hey, Sein.”

“Just go. Your father must be concerned about you as you will be getting back late.”

“Um…Got it. I’m leaving now.”

I looked back after walking ahead hesitantly. Can I really leave like this?

I waited a little longer, just in case, but he was still silent.

‘Well, I’ve to go now.’

The moment I walked again with a sigh, I heard his low voice behind my back.

“Goodbye, Tia.”

His heavy voice struck an emotional chord in me. Only then did I realize something. Namely, he was now saying something like separation to me.

I suddenly recalled his unusual actions today. I saw him often lost in thought in the middle of talking to me, he suddenly brought up the topic about our childhood memories, I saw the golden cuff button instead of the one he always put on, and he now said he didn’t have to go to the place of our memories. I see why he said that. He was wrapping up his heart to say goodbye to me as a romantic partner.

Of course, I had suspicion that he had some romantic feeling toward me. Sometimes he acted like a close friend of mine, sometimes like a friendly brother, but sometimes he was too close to be a friend or brother. But I think I was mistaken because he never went beyond the red line. I thought he acted like that because he had nobody he could call a friend. I just thought he was rather excessive in showing friendship to me.

At that moment I felt him gazing at me from my behind. I felt the strong urge to look back, but I held it back, biting my lip tightly. I knew it would not do anything good for him if I looked back at him now. All I could do now, or all I had to do was to accept his separation from me. I didn’t have the option of looking back.

I lifted my frozen legs and climbed into the wagon. As I sat down, I suddenly recalled the numerous things I experienced with him, such as our meeting for the first time when we didn’t like each other, the moments of him teaching fencing to me with tears and laughter, the day he and I battled the assassins, the pleasant time when I danced as led by him, last winter when he shared his warmth with me, giving me herbal medicine, when my body was getting cold, and the good happy times together in the golden field on way back to the capital were all vividly embedded in my memories.

I waved at him, raising my trembling hand. The door of my wagon closed, and the wheels began rolling. My eyes were blurred with tears all of a sudden because I saw through the curtain a lonely man standing there, just like he had been three years ago.

My heart ached. With my hand on my aching heart, I whispered to him who was disappearing into a red dot. ‘Goodbye, Sein.’

***

The next day I went to the Imperial Palace for two days in a row to make up for my missing days. My guard duty, which I began in the chilly air even before the sunrise, was done around lunch time.

The young man, who turned over his diary work log to the knights who came for a shift, looked at me and said, “Good job, Sir Monique.”

“Nice job, Sir Ryan and Sir Feden. It was a little easier today. ”

“That’s right. I wish my duty would be like this every day. Oh, are you done for today? ”

“Yes.”

“Um, if you have time, can you have lunch with us? We all haven’t seen you since that day, so we feel it rather regrettable not to see you more often.”

I gently smiled at Sir Ryan looking at me desperately. I thought it’s a good opportunity because I wanted to express my gratitude to them for their dedicated efforts to protect me on the day I was ambushed.

“Great, no problem.”

“Well, are you serious? I didn’t know you would really accept our request.”

“Lady Monique, you are here. I’ve been looking for you for some time. ”

Everybody looked at the man who suddenly appeared before me. As he recognized the middle-aged man, Sir Ryan, who was overjoyed a moment ago, hardened his face.

“You are the Lord Chamberlain of the Central Palace? Why are you here?”

“The emperor said he felt sorry you went away without seeing him yesterday, so he wants to see you as soon as you are done for the day.”

“Really? Got it.”

When I looked back at them with an embarrassed expression, the knight with brown hair said, stopping Sir Ryan who was hesitant to say something to me, “You shouldn’t keep the emperor waiting. Please go ahead!”

“Um, I’m sorry. How about the dinner in the evening?”

“Really? Of course, sounds good.”

“Good. See you then.”

“Got it. Goodbye for now, Sir Monique. I’ll tell my colleagues about the dinner.”

After smiling lightly at the young knight who answered with a bright expression, I followed the Lord Chamberlain to the Central Palace.

Only

“I’m honored to see you, the Sun of the empire.”

“Um? Are you still greeting me formally like that?”

Looking at me greeting him quietly, he said in a stern voice, hardening his face, “You don’t have to greet me like that because I don’t need that between you and me.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. I will keep it in mind.”

I smiled at his friendly reminder, but he still seemed dissatisfied.

“And…Um, I’m sorry I seem to be complaining as soon as I see you like this. Can you call me friendly when you are with me alone? I don’t feel good when you say that because I feel you are trying to keep a distance from me.”

“Ah…sorry, Your Majesty. I’ll try to correct it…”