The Abandoned Empress

An ordinary woman would have cried or reacted hysterically, but as a trained knight she looked at me with a worried expression, then drew her sword. Just like a woman resembling the sword, she was very cold and determined.

Glancing at her silver hair shining like a sword, I pointed my sword at the masked men who appeared one by one. Given that I could not move my shoulder, I felt its condition was serious, but I was determined to protect her even if I would lose my arm forever.

Don’t worry, Tia. I will protect you as much as I can. Even if I will never wield a sword again, even if I lose my life, I’m going to protect you by all means. I’ve already vowed for a long time that I would never lose you again, and make you always bright and happy.

Faced with the masked swordsmen, I had to calm down to fight them. I wielded my sword naturally thanks to my countless hours of practicing. I vigorously wielded the sword, diverting their attention to me while stopping them from attacking her until the royal knights appeared to save us.

I was so happy to have saved her life, but the moment I saw her white uniform stained with blood, I was consumed by an unknowable anxiety. And I got more worried because of what I heard when I went back to her house with her. I expected that she might have a secret bodyguard, but little did I think that the emperor, who seemed to have no interest in her since the National Founding Day festival, dispatched bodyguards to her.

What should I make of this situation?

I felt a bit relieved to see her expressing gratitude but showing uneasiness, but I was on edge because of an ominous feeling that kept rising deep down. Despite everything, it was fortunate that her father seemed to like me.

I didn’t feel good, though. My instinct, which helped them call me a genius swordsman, kept giving me a warning signal that I was in jeopardy.

I felt I had to prepare some measures. Even if I couldn’t approach her for realistic reasons, I had to find some way not to repeat Allendis’s failure.

Allendis failed to win her heart because he burdened her by crossing the borderline of “friendship” with her. On the other hand, by making use of his status as her fiance fully, the crown prince was growing closer to her. Then, what could I do because I was not as close to her as Allendis,nor could I officially date her like the crown prince?’

While pondering over the right way to approach her, I flinched suddenly because I found myself wrestling with the question of making her my woman. What the heck am I doing now?

‘It’s enough for now.’ I thought it was enough that I was with her now, so I vowed again that I would focus on helping her, keeping my promise to her.

***

“Sein, I’ve watched you for a while, but I think I have to draw a line. Is it true that you love Lady Monique?”

Looking at my father’s hardened face for a moment, I shut my mouth without responding. I guess why he asked me that, but I could not figure out what motivated him to ask such a question.

As if he noticed what I was thinking about, he said with a sigh, “I am not saying this to blame you, so just give me your honest answer. Do you really love her?”

“…”

“Sein.”

“… Yes, I do, Daddy.”

“Then you must know why I’m asking it now.”

“Yes,” I replied, moistening my dry lips. Although I didn’t want to admit it, I thought my guesswork was right. It was evident that he called me because of the big meeting tomorrow.

Lady Monique was very busy after a mysterious girl called the child of God’s prophecy appeared. When I heard that the big meeting was convened to determine which of the two was the child of God’s prophecy, I was so nervous. I didn’t want to imagine what would happen to Lady Monique at the meeting that I wasn’t even eligible to attend. Because of that, I felt like I was walking on a tightrope everyday.

“Whew…why do you love her among other women? You know how difficult it is to win her heart.”

“…”

“Why did you choose that girl? If it’s because of her title, I would rather …”

“Daddy!”

He shut up and watched me silently when I shouted. Then he said with a sigh, “You do love her. I see.”

“What do you mean? Are you going to help me?”

“Oh, yes, but I have to talk with her father Kairan, but let me try. I can’t guarantee you, of course. I’m your father, but at the same time leader of the pro-emperor faction. I can’t move according to my private interests. Do you understand? ”

“Yes, thank you, Daddy.”

“It’s late at night. Go back to your room.”

When he spoke, holding his forehead with his hand as if he was tired, I got out of his room after bowing silently. Only when I came out into the dark corridor, my throbbing heart subsided a little, but I was still feeling nervous and worried.

What if the results of the big meeting tomorrow were bad? What if the emperor would issue an order to designate Lady Monique as the crown prince’s wife? Although I swore to protect the girl, am I not a knight who pledged to devote my life to the imperial family?

I shook my head, grabbing my heart in agony. Didn’t my father say he would support me? Besides, her father would not sit on his hands if the emperor issued such an order. I didn’t need to worry about the results of the meeting in advance.

I nervously waited day after day until the big meeting happened. And finally, on the fourth day after I saw my father, I heard from him about the results of the meeting.

Lucky or not, she allegedly got one year’s grace period until her final status would be decided.

One year meant that she would not come of age until then. Of course, it wasn’t a perfectly satisfactory conclusion, but I thought it was good because I bought time until then, and I thought she would feel the same way.

Contrary to my expectation, however, she seemed to have a lot on her mind when I met her after the meeting. Although she spent time with me, as usual, her mind was wandering somewhere.

Only

I had a bad feeling again that I had felt sometime ago. Although I comforted myself with the thought that it was good enough for me to stay near her, I felt I needed to do something else. If I stood idly like this, I would just see her leaving me forever.

Yes, let me get a little closer to her, so she won’t be surprised.

However, getting closer to her, with whom I kept a distance for a long time, required much more than expected. If I made a mistake at all, I would be rejected like Allendis, which made me much more nervous.

One day while I was trying to calm down my impatience, she passed out while dancing with the crown prince. The royal doctor, who was hastily called for, said she had been poisoned and that she was in critical condition now.

I felt like the ground I was standing on collapsed. If I had discovered this earlier, I would have taken her to a doctor instead of bullying her into calling a doctor. I should not have believed her when she said she would be alright with a good break because she was tired.

I got angry with myself because I didn’t do anything for her except for saving her life in the raid. I got upset with myself because I could do nothing when she was dying. Even though I tried so hard, I was deeply bitter about the fact that I didn’t do much for her.

I hate myself so much because I was helpless.