The Accidental Wife by Sara Islam

Chapter 176

| haven't seen Knox in a long tand I'm glad that he is here. miss spending my twith him and lately, he

has been busy with the football season like every other player. | thought about visiting him in Colorado, but |

know how full his schedule is, and he needs the few days he gets off to prepare for his wedding. | can't just take

him away from Sabrina on those days. | remember how busy | was when | was preparing for my wedding with

Rosie while being in the middle of the football season.

We're going to a pub where we're meeting our friends and I'm pretty excited. All my friends are football players

and they're very busy with the season, so managing to go out with sof them in their free tis a great

opportunity | don't want to miss. If | were playing during this season, | wouldn't feel lonely.

It turns out that beside spending twith Rosie and playing football, | don't have a life, so losing football even if

this loss is temporary has a deep impact on me. I'm not proud that | find solace in getting drunk, but I'm trying to

detach myself from reality as much as possible. | understand that what I'm doing is far from healthy, but right

now, this is the only effective painkiller.

"For the first tin a long while, you're not the designated driver," Knox points out and | chuckle. It's funny how

| used to be the designated driver, because | didn't enjoy getting drunk, but now I'm the one who gets wasted.

"| get to drink as much as | want!" | exclaim as we both walk inside the pub.

B

"Yeah, but don't go overboard. We're supposed to spend the night with Rosie and Sabrina. They're going to kill us

if we get to your place all drunk and wasted," he reminds me.

Ithink Rosie is starting to get used to seeingdrunk. I'm certain that she's not fond of that version of me, but

there's nothing she can do. Even if she hides all the liquor in the house, | can easily buy other bottles. | see the

way she looks atwhen | get drunk and | hate the look of disappointment | always catch in her eyes, but

currently, this is how | cope. At least, this is better than getting addicted to drugs.

We spend three hours at the bar and while Knox only drinks a pint of beer, | end up drinking three. When | go to

order whiskey, Knox stops me, makinglook at him in confusion.

"You're the designated driver, remember?" | remind him, nodding at the bartender to getthe glass of

whiskey.

"This is too much. You shouldn't get this drunk, Silas." He looks atwith disapproval, makingroll my eyes.

Rosie is already givinga fair share of looks of disapproval. | don't need more from Knox. "Knox, | want to

have fun. Don't be a party pooper," | say and chug the whiskey placed in front of me.

"It's a good thing we're leaving," he mutters before pullingaway from the bar, causingto wince due to

the way | suddenly move my knee. He stops and givesan apologetic look as he says, "Sorry, man." | nod, not

saying anything and follow him to my car. | get in the passenger seat and Knox takes us to my place.

"Do you have a drinking problem, Silas?" Knox breaks the silence.

"I don't," I lie. I know that | have a drinking problem, but he doesn't have to know about that.

"Silas, my dad was an alcoholic. You're my best friend and | only want the best for you, so I'm only saying this

because | care about you. | think you should seek professional help," Knox tells me, and | scoff.

"I'm fine, Knox. | don't need help." It's funny how everyone is givingpieces of advice as if they were in my

shoes. Nobody understands what I'm going through. They don't know how painful the void I'm feeling is. They

don't know what it feels like to wake up one day and find out you've been deprived of doing something you love

for almost a year.

"No, Silas. You're not fine," he mutters. "You're not the sperson you used to be. The Silas | know didn't drink

like that. You were more rational and responsible."

My blood is boiling. He keeps comparing how | am now to how used to be before getting injured, and this is not

fair. | was useful. | had a whole team depending onbecause | was the king of touchdowns, but right now, I'm

nothing. | can't even stand for long because of my fucking knee. | can't drive because | need to keep it stretched.

Fortunately, | can now walk around with the cane, but I still have a limp that is gradually disappearing. Talking

with Knox reawakes all the dark thoughts | tried to suppress by drinking at the pub, so the moment | walk inside

the house, | make my way to the kitchen and grab a bottle of beer from the fridge.

"Hell to the no." Knox snatches it from my grip the moment he seesabout to sit on the couch with the bottle

in

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" | shout, trying to get the bottle back from him.

my

hand.

"What the hell is wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with you? You're the one who doesn't seem to get

enough alcohol. You're destroying your body!" he snaps at me.

"I know what I'm doing. Givingthat!" | argue with him. Sadly, this is the last bottle | have, so | can't go to the

fridge to fetch another one.

"What's going on?" Rosie's voice catches my attention. Has she just arrived? Has she been in the house all this

time?

"He thinks he can preventfrom drinking!" I yell, looking at her. As expected, she looks atlike she doesn't

know who | am. Honestly, | don't blher. | know I'm not the man she married, but | don't think | can go back

to the man she fell in love with easily. | need a strong incentive to go back to how I used to be and | don't know

where to find this incentive.

"Maybe it's because you need to stop drinking." | scoff at what she says, knowing she is going to side with Knox.

She hates how much I drink. We fought a lot about this, and every time, | promised her to get things under

control, but each promise becunfulfilled. Another thing I'm not proud of.

"You can't tellwhat to do and what not to do, Rosie." Despite the shooting pain in my knee, | walk over to

her.

I" ' :

| can when | see that all you're doing

Q " .

is destroy yourself," she fights me

back. Sometimes, Lepoot: hy

RAEN rosben rying to get me

back to how | used to be, but all her

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"Apparently you need someone to knock ssense into you if this is how you talk to your wife," Knox quickly

defends my wife. Why is he defending her? Does he think that I'm going to hurt her?

"And you think you're fit enough to teachhow to talk to my wife?" | challenge my best friend. | don't know

what I'm doing exactly, but I have a strong feeling that I'm messing things up.

I" : a

| think you need to go upstairs,

Rosie tellsin defeat as she holds

my arm. | hate thaty@rle®éPreath

this state, gud Feel powerless.

| 3 5

There's nothing | can do to fix myself.

| think | will get better once | step on

the field again. The content is on

novelenglish.net! Read the latest

chapter there!

"Stop!" | forcefully yank my arm away from her grip, making her stumble. "I want to know what he has to say!" |

raise my voice at my wife. What the fuck has gotten into me?

Am | an abusive husband? No, | have never laid a finger on her. But does what I'm doing count as abuse? My

judgment is clouded and | don't know what to make of all of this.

"I don't know what's going on with you, but you need to get your shit together! | can't even recognize you

anymore!" Knox snaps at me. | want to laugh at what he says. As if | can recognize myself!

And | can't recognize myself anymore either!" | yell in despair, looking at all of them, waiting to see if somebody

has something to say to me.

When silence prevails, | turn and make my way upstairs. Sometimes, | find myself hoping to fall into a coma for

the

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