The Author's POV-Novel

'Why did it happen again?'

While sitting on the curb in front of the bus with a perplexed expression on his face, Kevin mused to himself about the situation.

Why did they die again?

He did everything that he was supposed to do.

He didn't go toward the inner city and lead his parents away from home, yet, they still died.

This time by a road accident.

The demons weren't even responsible for their deaths.

Kevin's gaze lifted toward the clouds in the sky. Staring at the clouds that were moving ever so slowly in the sky, he had a sudden thought.

'...I wanted to spend more time with them.'

***

Bang―!

"Watch out, Kevin!"

Once more, Kevin watched as his parents threw their bodies over to protect him. This time, their bodies were completely severed in half, and blood spilt all over Kevin.

The expressions of helplessness and anguish that they displayed just prior to passing away left an indelible mark on his mind as he could only watch them die in front of him.

Crash―!

"Get behind me, Kevin!"

Booom―!

"Ahhhh!"

Unbeknownst to him, the same events kept happening over and over again with each and every one of his regressions.

Before Kevin even realized it, he had reached his twentieth regression, and for the twentieth time, both of his parents had passed away right before his very eyes.

This time, it was due to an explosion that occurred outside of the city.

'...Why?'

Kevin never managed to muster the required strength to come to the aid of his mother and father, no matter how many times he tried. Each time, they would suffer a horrible death, and he would be left all by himself once more.

The heaviness in his heart, which had been barely noticeable at first, became increasingly obvious with each and every one of his regressions, and it intensified with the passing of his parents in all of the regressions.

Over the course of those twenty regressions, he would have an immeasurably better chance of defeating Jezebeth, but despite his best efforts, he continued to fall short in every single one of his endeavours.

Kevin understood that it was only a matter of time before he could beat Jezebeth.

Be it one hundred, one thousand, ten thousand, one hundred thousand, or a million regressions...

Kevin had all the time in the world to accumulate experience and become stronger.

Jezebeth was still ahead of him by quite a lot, but Kevin knew that his time would come very soon.

...In those times, with each regression, he would spend more and more time with his parents. By the time the twentieth regression happened, he had spent at least a century of his life with them.

He pretty much knew them like the back of his hand.

...and it was because of this that he found it more difficult to part ways with them every five years since his birth.

After each of their deaths, he would experience a sharp pain, and the colour that had been slowly developing in his vision would slowly fade away.

This cruel cycle would continue indefinitely, with no means of stopping.

It was their fate.

"Ahhhh! I'm over here, you bastards! Come and get me if you can!"

"Don't forget about me! Go away!"

As Kevin watched his parents yell and scream at the top of their lungs, doing their best to divert the attention of the demon away from him, Kevin's chest began to feel as if it were being crushed under an enormous weight.

'Why? ...Why?'

He repeatedly wondered inside of his mind, his eyes drawn toward the scenes in the distance.

'Love is when one puts the needs of someone else before their own. Putting your needs above mine is how I show you that I love you. Isn't that what every mother should do?'

The words that Kevin's mother had told him during his fourth regression rang in Kevin's head, even though they were barely audible.

Tears began to form in the corners of his eyes, trickling down the side of his cheek before softly landing on the hard ground beneath him.

...and it was during this time that he finally better understood the meaning of his mother's words.

Extending his hand forward toward where his parents were, Kevin murmured.

"Don't go..."

Don't leave me.

*

Many years later.

Ashton City, Lock Library

Kevin's hand came to a stop near a particular word as he paged through a book about human emotions.

Loneliness; the state of being alone and feeling sad about it. Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone, and unwanted. People who are lonely often crave human contact, but their state of mind makes it more difficult to form connections with other people.

A candle cast a dim light on the area around him, and he traced his finger across the definition that was in front of him with a light touch.

For some reason, he felt that the words strangely resonated with him.

He didn't quite get it, but ever since the passing of his parents, he had the impression that the world, which seemed already to be devoid of meaning to him, had taken on an even more hollow quality.

His goal had always been to better understand the sensations he was feeling.

By now, he was about 600 years old if one counted all of the regressions.

Over the course of all that time, the sensation of emptiness that was eating away at his body gradually became worse, to the point where every breath felt suffocating.

It was also why he was now in the library.

It was so that he could better understand what he was feeling and find an answer to it.

Kevin flipped the book over and looked at the cover of the book.

[R.W. Johnson's guide to human emotion] 

'It was a mistake for the records to have birthed me as a human.'

Kevin thought, staring at the book in front of him and gently placing his hand over it.

The root of all of his problems at the moment was his identity. The identity of a human. A social being that thrived on what was known as emotions.

Initially, Kevin believed that he would never be forced to deal with such pointless issues; however, as more time passed and regressions took place, Kevin realized that he was not an exception to the natural biological system of the being known as a human.

He was aware that the fleeting sensations that he experienced in the immediate aftermath of the passing of his parents were classified as emotions.

...and he understood that he could not run away from them.

Regardless of how much he might try to distance himself from the world or ignore whatever was happening around him, like the death of his parents or his own death, the biological system that he was born with was directly influencing his own thoughts and actions.

It was this realization that made Kevin realize that he could no longer ignore the issue at hand.

He had to better understand this so called thing known as emotion.

Clank―!

Kevin got out of his chair and grabbed the book that was on the table in front of him.

"Hm?"

He was on the verge of turning around to return the book when he suddenly became aware of a faint light off in the distance.

'There was someone else here?'

It was approximately three in the morning, and it was very strange to see someone still in the library at that time.

Especially when considering that exam season has already passed.

Kevin, upon turning around, saw a young, skinny man with jet-black hair covering the front of his face.

His face was currently glued to a large book, and beside him was a stack of books.

[Demon anatomy] 

[What to watch out for from a demon] 

[Incurable curses and what is known about them] 

Kevin unknowingly found himself staring at the books that were piled up in front of the young man.

In spite of the fact that his hair was covering his face, it was obvious that the young man was showing signs of anxiety, given the rapidity with which he was turning the pages of the books and the low mutterings that he was making.

"Mind breaker curse... Mind breaker curse... where is it? ...where is it? ...There must be a way ...There has to be a way... I..."

"Are you looking for the cure to the mind breaker curse."

Kevin asked, stopping in front of the young man and startling him out of his seat.

"Eh, ah!"

Clank―!

The seat in front of him fell back and hit the floor, resulting in a deafening crash. It was a good thing the librarian wasn't around because nothing good would've come of it.

However, the young man's expression changed dramatically the moment his eyes landed on Kevin, nearly unable to hide his shock.

"You...you're Kevin Voss."

"You know me?"

"...Of course I know you. We're in the same class, and you're the first ranked in our year."

"Oh."

Kevin nodded his head in understanding. To be honest, he had never paid much attention to those in his class, so he was unaware of who the youth in front of him was.

After all, this was the first time that he had actually gone to the Lock, despite his past regressions.

He had never felt the need to go to the Lock in the past, which is why he had never gone there.

However, after observing that his previous strategies were unsuccessful, he made the decision to use this opportunity to try something new and different.

"...Did I perhaps bother you? Is this why you came to me?"

The young man carefully picked up the chair and rearranged it in its original position.

He never made a single attempt to meet Kevin's line of sight and instead kept his gaze lowered, acting almost submissively in front of him.

Kevin's reaction to his actions was to tilt his head slightly, as he was perplexed as to why exactly he would behave in the manner in which he did; however, his focus eventually returned to the books that were laid out on the table.

He pointed at them.

"You were mumbling something about the mind-breaker curse... are you trying to find a cure for it?"

"Ehp!"

The young man flinched the moment he heard Kevin's words.

Ignoring his odd behaviour, Kevin already had an idea of what was going on and bluntly stated.

"There is no way for you to cure whoever you're trying to cure. The cure cannot be found on earth."

"There's a cure?"

The young man inched closer to Kevin while slightly parting his hair and revealing a pair of deep blue eyes.

"...Yes, but not on earth."

"That's enough for me."

The young man scratched the side of his neck, revealing a few red scars and crusts in the process. It was obvious that the young man had been scratching the same area repeatedly, over and over again, in the past.

His subsequent actions, which included moving around, were even more peculiar after that. As he fixed his gaze on Kevin, the anxiety that was already visible on his face became even more pronounced.

At the same time, his hands, which were hidden beneath the blue cardigan that he was wearing, grabbed Kevin by the shoulder.

"You... what is the name of the cure? Tell me... I... "

"Let go of me."

Kevin grabbed the young man's hands, which had been pressing against his shoulders, and pulled them away from him while staring him down with a chilly expression.

"What's the point of me telling you this piece of information? Even if you do know, you're never going to be able to get it. Give u―"

"No...no, no...you don't understand... I need to know... I need to know..."

Kevin was in the middle of a sentence when he was interrupted by the young man who made his desperation obvious.

Kevin quickly realized that there was no point in attempting to reason with the young man who stood in front of him.

"I..if you tell me... I will help you with anything you ask me to... please."

Just as Kevin was about to refuse him again, he had a sudden thought. Feeling the book in his hand, he looked at the young man in front of him and asked.

"You... what's your name?"

"My name?"

The young man looked up, exposing his deep blue eyes and frail face. Opening his mouth, he mumbled.

"Ren... It's Ren...Dover..."