The Beautiful Monster

"What's this? The overachiever is late for work?" Jackson said as he moved to walk beside her. "Forget your textbooks or something?"

Alyssa kept her eyes forward, ignoring him. She didn't want to play his games today, but he refused to take a hint.

He thought that he was so funny, so charming. He wasn't. Not to her.

"Back off," she snapped at him as she turned to face him. She glared at him, warning him to go on somewhere before she got really pissed.

Jackson gave her a strange look.

"What's your problem? Can't take a joke?" he asked..

"I can't take you right now," Alyssa replied before turning back around and continuing to walk down the hall.

Jackson didn't let the conversation die there. He followed her.

"You don't have to be such a bitch," he said.

Alyssa turned and got in his face, hardly able to hold herself back any longer.

"I said to back off! I won't tell you again!" she snapped.

Jackson stared at her in shock, not expecting her to snap like that.

"Alyssa! Jackson! What's going on?" Dr. Shields' voice echoed down the hallway from them.

He hurried toward them, narrowing his eyes as he looked between them. "I won't tolerate fighting."

"We weren't fighting. Just a misunderstanding," Jackson muttered.

Alyssa didn't say anything. She was afraid that if she opened her mouth, she would say something that she would later regret. She just wanted to be put to work so that her shift flew by faster.

"Go check on the patient in 245," Dr. Shields told Jackson.

Jackson nodded. His eyes lingered on Alyssa as he started to walk away.

Dr. Shields turned to Alyssa and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What's going on? I've never heard you raise your voice like that," he asked her.

Alyssa didn't meet his eyes. She couldn't. She didn't want to look at him and be overcome with the desire to spill to him all that she feared right now.

She wished that she could talk to someone, but the only person that she wanted to talk to right now was Elias. And he wouldn't pick up the phone for some reason. She felt so alone. So lost.

"I'm just… dealing with stuff," she said. She knew that Dr. Shields wouldn't let her go about her shift without an answer, and that was the best one that she could give him right now.

She didn't need to delve into her personal troubles with her boss anyway. It wasn't professional.

Dr. Shields sighed.

"Just stay away from Jackson then. I need labs from the patient in 219. No jabbing," he warned her before walking off.

At least she had something to do. She wasn't stoked about something that took so much concentration, but at least her mind would be forced off Elias for a few moments.

Maybe she would experience some peace and clarity in those moments and figure out what might be going on. She needed answers, but she wouldn't get them just sitting around and waiting for a phone call.

********

Alyssa managed to get through work without making any mistakes. She was as careful and precise as could be when she was with patients.

She knew that she had to learn how to put her personal matters aside when she was with a patient.

It was all about them when she was with them. It would take a little while to properly adapt that mindset, but she was starting to get the hang of it. It was definitely hard.

When she checked her phone after work, she saw that she got no calls or texts from Elias. Radio silence.

That made a whole day of not hearing from him. Not even once. Now, she was really worried, and she needed to find answers.

She decided to go by his apartment and see if he was there. She got into her car and made the drive there, feeling her heartbeat quicken as she got closer and closer to his place.

She was scared of what she would find. What if he was ignoring her on purpose? Had she done something wrong?

Going to his apartment would force him to face her and talk to her. At least she would have answers.

She went up to his apartment floor and walked down the hallway until she reached his unit.

Her heart slowly sunk into her stomach when she saw that the door to his apartment was cracked.

She pressed her fingertips against the wood and pushed it slightly, watching the door creak open. She stepped inside of the apartment, and she swore she couldn't breathe.

The apartment was empty. There was no furniture. The fridge was cleaned out. There wasn't anything left behind at all.

It almost looked like no one had ever been there in the first place. She moved from room to room, trying to search for him or any clue of where he went. Why did he leave? Why didn't he say anything?

Panic rose in her chest, feeling like fire as she rushed around frantically. She had to gasp to breathe, and each breath was so painful.

Seeing his apartment empty killed her, and her knowing that she had no way of finding him or reaching out to him hurt her even more. Where had he gone? Why did he leave?

She found one thing on the floor of the bedroom. She knelt down to see a small piece of paper. It looked ripped off the original page, and it had dark ink scribbled across it. She held it closer to her face to read it.

Goodbye.

A sob broke from Alyssa as she crumbled to the floor, holding the note in her hand. That was it? Goodbye?

He didn't give her any sort of explanation or warning that he was leaving just like that. What about their plans? What about them?

She hadn't experienced being broken up with before, but she didn't think that it was supposed to hurt this bad. This was agony.