The Darkness Was Comfortable for Me-Novel

Chapter 134: Defeat and Unexpected Present

“…In the end…this is what you would call fate, huh.” (Hikaru)

—Everything feels silly now.

Being branded with the stigma of a childhood friend killer.

With my family not even being worried about me.

And I am about to be judged in place of the viewers by a Chosen from Earth like me.

(Rifreya, I couldn’t live.) (Hikaru)

If she were to know that, I am sure she would be sad.

In the first place, she doesn’t have any means of knowing I died, huh. I am an illegal immigrant that has no place to go in this world. Me dying would be the end of it.

I would just die without anyone knowing about it.

…No, it would be a different story if someone were to deliver my ID on my chest to the guild, huh.

“…Once you kill me, please at least deliver my ID to the explorer guild.” (Hikaru)

“Hmmm… You give up quite nicely.” (Jeanne)

“I…am tired already. If you are going to be bringing down the hammer on me, that’s fine by me.” (Hikaru)

I don’t want to think of anything.

I can’t think of anything.

A void was ruling my whole body.

Once I die, the viewers will cheer and will be partying about it.

I am going to be dying at the corner of the street like trash.

That would be my everything in the series of my isekai transfer.

For this justice bringer wannabe gorilla woman, I am simply a passageway to get herself drunk in the achievement of justice.

No one is worrying about me.

“Do it.” (Hikaru)

I closed my eyes.

I would like to at least ask for a painless death.

Will my afterlife be from this world?

If so, then the chances are low that I would be able to reunite with Nanami.

“…Men who give up quickly are honestly not my taste, but fine. You are okay with me being the winner of this duel, right?” (Jeanne)

“Winner, you ask… I can’t do anything anyways.” (Hikaru)

“Alright.” (Jeanne)

By the time I noticed, the weight on my body was gone.

When I opened my eyes, Jeanne had stood up and was looking down at me.

“Kurose Hikaru, you…apparently don’t open your messages. Why?” (Jeanne)

“Why…? Because I am being hated by the viewers. Do you think I would open the messages?” (Hikaru)

“I don’t know. It varies between people after all. There’s no right answer.” (Jeanne)

Saying this, Jeanne looked at me while simply standing there.

The dangerous air around her had completely disappeared.

“…You are not killing me?” (Hikaru)

“I didn’t say a word about killing you. I did say I would test you out.” (Jeanne)

“Test, you say… What’s with that.” (Hikaru)

“This… You wanted it, right? Here.” (Jeanne)

Jeanne took out something from her duffel bag, and she threw it to me as if nothing.

It is a fist sized jewel, and different from the present of the Divine Beast, there was a complex brilliance inside of it.

It was visibly an expensive item.

“A jewel…? Why something like this?” (Hikaru)

“I was asked by your little sister.” (Jeanne)

“Little sister…? What do you mean by that?” (Hikaru)

I don’t understand.

What is she saying?

“The girl called Celica is your little sister, right? I was asked by her to give you this. I then gave her a request of my own thinking it wouldn’t amount to anything, but she managed to fulfill it. I don’t know how she did it, but your little sister…Celica is one passionate person.” (Jeanne)

“Celica did…?” (Hikaru)

She asked her to give me this…?

She came all the way here to give me this? Is that what it means?

But she said she would test me, and went as far as having a fight that looked like it would be to the death… The pieces just don’t fit.

“We were trying to kill each other just now, you know…? Do you think I can believe that? You are even bringing out the name of my little sister… Just what are you scheming?!” (Hikaru)

“Nothing. Having a fight between Chosen isn’t something that can be experienced often. It was actually fun.” (Jeanne)

“Fun?! You could have died there, you know? Are you messing with me here?!” (Hikaru)

“If I died, that’s just how much I amounted to. It isn’t that big of a deal. Even if it hadn’t been today…we are in a world like this. There’s no knowing when we could die. If you don’t put death right by your side, you can’t become stronger.” (Jeanne)

She said that without a single giggle in between. I can’t feel she was saying this jokingly.

She really fought because she thought it would be interesting. She was fine with losing and dying.

If I were to take her words at face value, then that’s what it would mean.

“What do you mean by testing me?” (Hikaru)

“Even if you ask me that… I could tell from talking for a bit, and I already got it. That it turned into a fight was…just the flow of things. You were just so serious. Also, wasn’t I cool?” (Jeanne)

“What’s with that…?” (Hikaru)

What a weirdo.

It is as if she can be reasoned with, and at the same time, she can’t be reasoned with. That’s how off it feels.

If I were to compare it to someone, I would say she is a similar type to Karen. It might be pointless trying to understand her.

“And so, what’s this…?” (Hikaru)

I look at the shining jewel in my hand, and it looks like an expensive item.

“The Resurrection Gem. The prize from the something-race of before. You were putting your life on the line to get that, right?” (Jeanne)

“…Eh?” (Hikaru)

I look at the shining jewel on my hand.

This is…the Resurrection Gem…?

“Huh? Is this a prank? Stop the joking… There’s no way… There’s no way this is…” (Hikaru)

Having suddenly been told the name of this item, my chest was squeezed.

I felt like the memories of the thing that I had given up on were dragged out in its entirety.

“There’s only one Resurrection Gem in the whole world, you know…? It isn’t something you give away so easily… Did someone give you the idea? So that you could make fun of me…” (Hikaru)

The Resurrection Gem is the 1st place prize for the Viewer Count Race.

The thing that escaped from my hands.

Who was…1st place?

No…even if Jeanne here was the one who got 1st place, this is an irreplaceable item. On Earth…no, even in this world, it wouldn’t be strange for it to be traded at the highest of the highest prices in the world. It isn’t something you give away to a stranger so easily.

But Jeanne, as if saying this is upsetting, shrugged her shoulders.

“I have no such twisted hobby like lying for something like this. It is something I have no use for, and if you are going to be reviving Nanami, I have no problem with that.” (Jeanne)

“You…know Nanami?” (Hikaru)

“Yeah. There was one time when all Chosen gathered, and I spoke with her at that time. Nanami could speak english after all. At that time, it was only a bit, but it was fun being able to talk with her about games. Sadly to say, it seems like it didn’t go as far as me thinking of her as an ‘important person’, so I couldn’t revive her, but…you should be able to do it, right?” (Jeanne)

There was no sign of her lying or kidding.

I could hear a sincere timbre to it, and even a bit of affection mixed in it.

I can…revive Nanami…?

I was truly unable to understand the situation that suddenly fell upon me.

But the jewel in my hand was releasing a light different from that of a Spirit Stone and a Divine Beast Gift, and most of all, that sincere voice of Jeanne was telling me there was no doubt about this.

“I-Is it…okay for me to use this…? Me…? In order to revive Nanami…*sniff*.” (Hikaru)

“Don’t make me repeat myself so much.” (Jeanne)

Strength left my whole body, and I sat down hard onto the floor.

Tears fell from my eyes, and I desperately wiped them with the sleeves of my clothes.

I thought almost all of the people on Earth were my enemies.

But at the very least, Celica…my little sisters are watching me.

There was also someone who understood me within the Chosen.

A person that would even give me an item that can’t be bought with money despite it being her first time meeting him.

“Y-You…are you crying?” (Jeanne)

Jeanne’s cheeks went red and she looked flustered for the first time.

It is pathetic in front of a girl of around the same age as me but, as if a dark muddy and hardened something inside of me had broken down, my tears were not stopping.

“I-It is okay… Good boy, good boy.” (Jeanne)

“Uuh…waaaah.” (Hikaru)

I don’t know why Jeanne did that.

But she hugged me gently and I cried on her chest.

The thing that I had always…always been enduring deep inside of me had become a torrent, overflowed, and I couldn’t control it.

So many emotions were pushing onto me, and those became tears, wishing to get out.

I don’t know how long it was.

Towards someone that I met for the first time and had been fighting a battle I thought was to the death, I was having my head pet in confusion, and I cried until my tears dried.

I cried to the point that I forgot about the spectators around.

I cried so much I couldn’t understand why I was even crying.

“…Calmed down?” (Jeanne)

“Y-Yeah…sorry. It is just…a lot happened, you see. I got a bit carried away…” (Hikaru)

“You were suddenly brought to this world. There’s no way you wouldn’t have a lot happen… You must have worked hard.” (Jeanne)

I was directed such gallant words, and my eyes grew hot again.

“By messages… Do you get quite a lot of messages from my little sisters?” (Hikaru)

“No, not that many. Just a few.” (Jeanne)

“Did Celica…say something about me…in those messages?” (Hikaru)

“She told me: ‘Judge with your own eyes whether he is actually a killer’. Well, from what I can see, you are a virgin.” (Jeanne)

“Vi—you…” (Hikaru)

“I am talking about how you haven’t killed anyone before. More importantly…now that you have calmed down, aren’t you going to use that?” (Jeanne)

Jeanne points at the gem in my hand.

“How do I use this…? Do I break it?” (Hikaru)

“With that in hand, you pray to God and it activates.” (Jeanne)

Is there such a strange way of using it?

But right now it doesn’t matter whatever way it is. What’s important is the effect.

“Alright…then, I will use it.” (Hikaru)

“Hmm… Wait.” (Jeanne)

Just when I was literally about to offer a prayer to God, Jeanne stopped me.

“There’s apparently a timing to it, so I was told to wait until tomorrow morning.” (Jeanne)

“Tomorrow?” (Hikaru)

“Yeah, they probably have preparations to do.” (Jeanne)

“I see.” (Hikaru)

Tomorrow morning, huh.

I don’t have anything to do anyways, so there’s no issue with waiting for a bit.

“Alright, let’s go eat.” (Jeanne)

Jeanne packed up and said this.

Speaking of which, I ended up not eating.

Maybe because I cried, my stomach growled without care.

“My treat.” (Hikaru)

“It is fine for it to be the same place as before. It had a nice smell.” (Jeanne)

Even though I was escaping my heavy heart with alcohol, my heart was this light now.

Nanami will come back to life tomorrow.

Everything will go well.

That’s how I felt.