The Empress's Gigolo

Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios

“Haha! Haha, it seems like a good blade always remains sharp, Sir Qin!”

“Let me show you whether my blade is still sharp or not!”

A howl of laughter burst out next door, seemingly making the entire House Yunyan tremble.

They didn’t know which b*stard was laughing his head off and pounding on the wall. Ren Baqian watched as the dust scattered from a roof beam and fell into his glass.

First, Tong Zhenye’s face turned black. Next, he restrained himself and said loudly, “Let’s drink, cut people with big swords, drink a big mouthful, and sing with loud voices! This is how an aboriginal male should be!”

“Sir Tong is right!” Feng Hou was the first to agree. He was practically tearing his windpipe apart as he shouted.

Thereafter, the volume of all sorts of noises in the hall suddenly grew very loud. Ge Yihong kept pounding on the table, and Ren Baqian saw that the slate beneath the table had already cracked!

The entire house was filled with fools wailing like ghosts and howling like wolves. They were so loud that the ladies’ voices couldn’t even be heard.

The noise from next door ceased before abruptly heating up again and suppressing the voices of Tong Zhenye and his people.

How could Tong Zhenye possibly tolerate this? His expression remained unchanged, but he increased his volume even louder!

“Hahahahaha…” The volume of everyone from the Ministry of Works increased by five folds…

“Hahahahaha…” The volume of everyone from the Ministry of the Army increased by another five folds…

“Hahahahahaha…” The volume of everyone in the Ministry of Works increased again.

“Hahahahaha…” The Ministry of the Army…

After less than two minutes, it was just the people from these two halls in House Yunyan competing over how loud they could be.

With a dumbfounded look, Ren Baqian covered his ears and watched Tong Zhenye as he howled with laughter at the top of his lungs with his face entirely flushed… Even the veins on his neck had bulged out!

There was also Ge Yihong, who had already lost his voice! He sounded like a damaged gong! By the look of him, he was already having difficulty catching his breath—how could he still laugh? Ren Baqian was worried that he would fall dead the next moment!

Can you stop pounding on the wall, Feng Hou?

Can’t you see that the wall has already cracked?

If you continue pounding, I’m afraid that House Yunyan will literally turn into smoke…

At that point, House Yunyan will not only be in name ¹ , but in reality as well.

Everyone on the entire street outside looked toward House Yunyan with a dumbfounded look. The noise coming out of House Yunyan had almost covered half the street. Everyone had to shout at the top of their lungs to communicate. Otherwise, people wouldn’t even be able to hear each other in the same room.

After asking around, they found out that both Qin Chuan and Tong Zhenye were inside. Everyone had a look of helplessness on their face. When these two sirs meet, there was no telling when it would end.

Xing Rong got up and opened up the window, and the moonlight beamed into his room that was usually murky. Along with this came the noises from within House Yunyan.

“Sir, those two have started fighting again,” someone from behind him said.

“Let them be.” Xing Rong didn’t mind it. On normal days, he would naturally have to do something about it, but not today.

In the room next to Ren Baqian, dressed in black attire for men with her hair bunned like a Great Xia scholar, the empress’s face turned black. Coming to a brothel was originally a rather fresh experience for her. However, she heard the ruckus coming from next door not long after being seated. The noises grew louder and louder as those two old men competed over who had the loudest voice, and they were simply devil’s music to the ears. Her eyebrows kept twitching, and she subconsciously scratched the table with her fingers, reducing it to sawdust that swirled in the air.

She was itching to jump over there and teach those two a lesson.

However, the empress felt that she was here simply to seek pleasure and mingle with the people incognito, so she decided to bear with it even though she looked very displeased.

She was accompanied by two ladies with smiles on their faces who had outstanding temperaments. However, they almost failed to maintain their smiles for any longer. They wanted to cover their ears on several occasions, yet they didn’t dare to.

Seated near the empress were Qing Yuan and Hong Luan, who were both dressed up as charming and intelligent young men. They had been full of zest ever since they entered the room, flirting and teasing the lady beside them. That lady didn’t actually mind it and was in fact pretty amused.

They didn’t need to be perspicacious people to be able to tell that these three charming and intelligent looking young men were actually women dressed like men.

If you looked out of a window in Lan City, all you could see were big burly men. Where did these three charming and intelligent looking young men come from?

Especially for these two as their whole bodies reeked of the smell of cosmetics.

At present, Qing Yuan had stopped feeling refreshed. She turned around and said to the empress, “Sir, it’s too noisy!”

The empress knitted her eyebrows and used her facial expression to ask, “What are you saying?”

“Too noisy!” Qing Yuan repeated herself.

“Can’t hear you!” the empress replied.

Hong Luan looked at both of them and asked, “What are you guys talking about?”

Both Qing Yuan and the empress direct the same expression toward Hong Luan that conveyed, “What did you say?”

Boom!

The wall that Feng Hou kept pounding on finally broke into pieces.

People at both tables of the two halls glanced at each other.

“I see that the ignorant old man is here,” Tong Zhenye and Qin Chuan said in unison.

“Who are you calling an ignorant old man?” Tong Zhenye resorted to his old ways.

“I’m calling you!” Qin Chuan stepped into the trap as always.

“Why does it smell so bad here today?! Have you come to taint House Yunyan with blood?” Tong Zhenye laughed out loud.

One should aim at the other’s face when fighting, and one should expose the other’s shortcomings when arguing!

“Better than you, who was walking like a girl with a wedged butt!” Qin Chuan stood up and looked at Tong Zhenye.

“Get over here! Let me show you who the real girl is!”

“Why? Do you wish to have a taste of my blade again?”

“Fine, fine, I’ve recently made some gains, and it’s just in time to see if you’ve made any progress!” Tong Zhenye slammed the table, immediately shattering it.

Before Tong Zhenye raised his hand, Ren Baqian had snatched away a plate of dried fruits that were similar to peanuts. He then snuck into a corner, eating the snack while waiting for the show to start.

The rest of the people subsequently stared at each other with death glares.

Like a cockfight, it would end up like this whenever Tong Zhenye and Qin Chuan ran into each other. In addition, even the relationship between their two ministries wasn’t that good.

“Come! I’m afraid that we may break something if we fight here. Let’s take it to the rooftop!” Tong Zhenye ignored the wall and table that were already destroyed, forgot about what he wanted to say to Ren Baqian, and went straight to the rooftop to fight with Qin Chuan.

After they had made their moves, the others successively followed them up to the rooftop as well.

Ren Baqian looked left and right, then looked out of the window. The rooftop was about three stories up. There wasn’t any footing for him to step on, so he couldn’t get up!

Even onlookers who were interested in the spectacle had to have skills to get up there or else they wouldn’t even have the chance to participate!

“Shi Hu!” Ren Baqian shouted. Shi Hu, who was waiting outside, came in immediately. He then carried Ren Baqian up to the rooftop before putting him down.

The wind blew and due to Ren Baqian’s tipsiness… he became more dizzy…

It was utter nonsense what other people said about becoming more sober when getting some wind. There was another saying: fall with the wind.

Ren Baqian shook his head. Just as he composed himself and located the two of them in the crowd, he heard a boom. They had broken the roof and continued fighting downstairs.

Swish! Swish! Swish!

A bunch of silhouettes flashed past.

The only people remaining on the roof were Shi Hu and Ren Baqian, who was still holding his plate of snacks, as they felt the cold wind against their faces.

Awkward.

The others went down the moment he came up. How awkward was that?!

Sprawled out on his back, Ren Baqian lay on the rooftop, enjoyed the night breeze, and gazed at the moon above.

“Na… Shi Hu, look above the big moon. Don’t you think they look like eyes?” Intoxicated, Ren Baqian asked this after looking at the sky for a long time.

At present, high up in the sky there was a cycle of blood moons as well as a cycle of much smaller moons.

In the middle of the blood moons, there was something that looked like eyes. It was as if they were watching everyone who was looking at the sky.

However, this wasn’t something that was always visible. It was quite long ago from when Ren Baqian last saw it, and he had forgotten about it after not seeing it since then. Now, on this night, he suddenly saw it again.

Boom! Boom! Tong Zhenye and Qin Chuan abruptly flew out of House Yunyan, disappearing into the night.

All of House Yunyan was swaying with a creaking sound. It seemed as if it was going to topple over.

“Be careful everyone.” Shi Hu’s expression suddenly underwent a change. He grabbed Ren Baqian and prepared to run.

Boom!

Crash!

After a creaking groan that made people’s gums sore, House Yunyan suddenly collapsed.

After the dust storm settled, everyone from the Ministry of Works and the Ministry of the Army landed properly in the courtyard.

“Your Majesty!”

When Tong Zhenye and Qin Chuan were fighting, they smashed a wall and broke into another hall. After taking a close look at the few people in that hall, everyone was stunned.

Nobody expected the empress to actually be here.

With a black face, the empress sent both of them flying away with a kick.

Looking at everyone now, the empress let out a cold groan and disappeared into the night in a flash.

After the empress left, everyone heaved a sigh of relief.

“Why was Her Majesty here?” Feng Hou sighed.

“Catching adultery in the act!” Ge Yihong hit the nail on the head.

“Where’s Principal Ren?”

“I don’t see him… Could it be that he ran away after seeing Her Majesty?”

“Ptui… I’m here!” Covered in dirt, Ren Baqian crawled out of the rubble.

…

Back in that room.

“Sir, House Yunyan has collapsed!”

“Send the bill to the Tong and Qin residences tomorrow.”

“It was Her Majesty who tore it down!”

“Send the bill to the Tong and Qin residences tomorrow.”

“Got it.”

Mentally exhausted, Xing Rong heaved a sigh of relief after his subordinate left. He might as well be wielding a blade and cutting people up in the Protectorate of the North.

How unfortunate.

Xing Rong touched the only eye he had left and looked at his one remaining arm, which was missing two fingers.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t hold a blade anymore!