The Legendary Janitor

Chapter 43: How to take a sh*t

Thinking about his options, Di Tou figured that a sponge bath (only with a rag because he didn't have sponges) would still be better than not cleaning up at all. After all, it wasn't just a matter of hygiene, it simply didn't feel comfortable to be dirty, especially when you're aware of it.

Up to this point, while he had been dirty he had still been active in doing one activity or another, so he could kind of ignore the grimey feeling he had, but now that he was stopping and resting for a moment, it was pretty obviously uncomfortable.

Looking at the remaining water he had in the basin from earlier, there wasn't much left, and what was left was rather murky and unclear from when he had cleaned the rag between usages.

It seemed like he'd have to get more water if he wanted to clean up at all.

It seemed like there was always more things to do. At this moment Di Tou really missed indoor piping. Having water readily accessible seemed so nice right now, although it wasn't something he thought about or appreciated on a regular basis, he couldn't help but think about how lucky he was to have running water before. Especially considering that almost all modern plumbing came with a hot water boiler that allowed for hot water that lead directly to the sinks and shower heads, in his current situation while a bath still seemed possible in the near future, it didn't seem like Di Tou would be able to enjoy a hot shower for a long long time.

And more importantly, indoor piping meant having a toilet. Which was something that was really bothering Di Tou at the moment, as after avoiding it for a whole day his body had finally caught up with him. He really needed to take a dump. He also needed to pee, but he wasn't quite as worried about that.

While it was somewhat uncomofrtable to pee without a restroom, it wasn't something he hadn't done before while on trips or away from home. Peeing in a bottle while in a road trip, or under the concision of a certain shameless grandfather of his, peeing in a bush when he was very young and didn't know better.

Peeing while it was still somewhat uncomfortable, was still within an acceptable realm, pooping on the other hand was something he didn't really want to confront considering that his only utilities at the moment were a chamberpot.

Somewhat subconsciously, Di Tou had been avoiding using the restroom up to this point, but it had been over a full day, and he had eaten more than one meal, he really couldn't hold it for much longer.

Heading indoors, Di Tou went and grabbed the chamberpot and started doing his business.

Halfway through his dump, he realized that he hadn't thought about the fact he didn't have toilet paper. Was he supposed to use his fingers to clean it out? That was too gross right?

Luckily, he had bought a bunch of paper earlier in the day, and while it was uncomfortable, he could still use it to get the job done, and after the most uncomfortable five minutes of his life Di Tou finished his business.

Only to realize… What the f*ck was he supposed to do with his waste now that he finished it?

He didn't have anywhere to throw the trash, and if he was just going to throw his waste into a bush, ignoring the morality and hygienic issues with that, what different was that from just going to the bush to use the restroom in the first place.

"F*ck… Am I going to have to sleep in the same room as my sh*t for a night?" Di Tou despaired. Also, how the hell was he going to bring this up in conversation with Fu Hao Xin the next day? Asking about wells and trash disposal was already a weird enough topic as someone who claimed to be a janitor, and looked like they had been working here for decades, but how was he supposed to explain he didn't know what to do with his sh*t?

Was he five? Did he need to be potty trained?

Aiya… what was he to do.

For the moment, Di Tou could only leave the chamberpot as it was, in its semi-full state. Awkwardly sliding it back into it's spot Di Tou made sure to have a very clear mental note on where it was so he didn't run into it on accident during the night.

Then, heading outdoors and using the last bit of murky water he had left, he quickly washed his hands. He didn't really know how much cleaner he was getting, as he didn't have any soaps or even a towel to dry his hands on, but at least mentally he felt a bit better. After washing his hands, he dumped out the last bit of water that was there, as at this point it really was a bit too dirty to be used any more.

Heading back indoors, he emptied the two buckets attached to a pole of all of the purchases he made during the day, and lifted it up onto his back to head to the well.

Even if he couldn't take a bath, he still needed some water.

The trip too and back from the well was rather uneventful. It took him quite a few buckets of water from the well to fill up his two buckets, and when he was done, he was surprised to find that it wasn't all that tiring for him to carry the buckets after they were filled with water, he had indeed become much stronger.

Unfortunately, on the way back, due to his unfamiliarity with carrying things on his back using a pole, he spilled quite a bit of water on himself.

In fact, he had been walking a bit haphazardly the entire day, but luckily the streets were rather wide and Di Tou gave a decent berth when walking around people, so he hadn't bumped into anyone. Further, he was mainly carrying physical items, so it wasn't really obvious that the buckets were unstable.

By the time he got back to his residence, although he wasn't feeling all that winded from the trip back and forth, he was somewhat drenched from head to toe and had lost almost half of the water he had painstakingly gotten from the well.