The Regressor and the Blind Saint

༺ Journey (4) ༻

Vera tried to open his eyes.

However, he failed.

It was for no reason other than…

‘What the…!’

He couldn’t move his body.

More precisely, he couldn’t sense a body at all.

From the moment the light flooded his vision, the awareness persisted continuously.

The ghastly experience of his existence becoming blurred drove fear into Vera.

‘…What the hell?’

Am I disappearing like this?

Where is this place, and what do I exist as here?

There’s no physical body and no sensations at all.

Only the constant stream of thoughts to cling to his existence of ’self’, the notion that he absolutely must not let it go was what occupied him.

In the middle of that.

[There’s no need to resist.]

Nartania’s voice rang out.

Vera listened intently.

[See, have you not reached heaven? You’re in the Parent’s embrace, so simply accept it as is.]

Her teasing tone made him doubtful, but Vera obediently heeded her words since he knew that she no longer had any reason to harm him now.

[Imagine. The boundary separating you and the world stems from there, so recreate this world with what you know.]

Vera tried to indicate his agreement.

Then, a voice emerged from him.

“I understand.”

He recognized the act of ‘opening his eyes wide’.

As he did so, his field of vision emerged.

[Good. Construct it piece by piece like that.]

He recognized the act of ’nodding his head’.

Those sensations arose above his neck.

What occurred to him next was his physical body comprising his ’self’.

He built the skeleton.

Then the vessels pulsating as one, the muscles that were always his most reliable allies above them, and the skin.

After that was the hair tickling his skin, his facial features, the sensations of friction as his body moved, then the holy armor covering him and the cross that served as his compass.

Buuuzzzz—

Finally, he envisioned the Holy Sword.

“Hah…!”

Vera exhaled a breath, surveying the area laid bare as he did so.

‘It’s pure white.’

It was an entirely pure white realm.

He seemed to float within it.

There was no feeling of space or time, either.

It was nothing but a hazy void that stretched outwards.

[Now, imagine further. Yes, this place is heaven. You are standing there, and at the end of the path lies the Parent.]

He followed the voice and expanded his thoughts.

[Paint the image of heaven as you can envision.]

Visualizing the image evoked by the word ’heaven’,

‘…An enormous temple.’

Vera imagined a massive temple housing the thrones of the Gods, and space surged upward around him.

However, it wasn’t complete.

The shifting cluster of light formed the blurry silhouettes barely resembling a temple.

[That’s good enough. Now, try to imagine time.]

Time.

Though Vera’s brow furrowed at being told to depict the invisible concept, fortunately he possessed the intellect to grasp the meaning of those words.

‘Traces to recognize the passage of time.’

That must be what it implied.

Vera glared at the temple, engraving stains that could capture the flow of time upon it.

‘Flow.’

To feel the passing of time, he added a gentle breeze to the space.

Whoosh—

In the middle of the refreshing noises tickling his ear, her words continued in a distinct voice.

“Well done.”

It was a pleasant voice.

Vera’s head turned right.

There stood a woman who had taken shape, taking on a form with a gorgeous appearance.

Vera’s forehead creased.

“…Nartania?”

“Who else would I be?”

“That appearance is…”

Vera couldn’t continue because her appearance differed somewhat from what he knew.

She had lustrous golden hair, an alluring dress, and twelve arms as before. However, one unignorable aspect had changed.

“This face, you mean?”

Nartania stroked her face with her hand.

Beneath the neatly fluttering golden lashes, red eyes flickered. And underneath her pert nose, blood-red lips formed a crescent smile.

“Why, have you fallen for me all of a sudden?”

The expression vanished from Vera’s face.

Nartania burst into loud laughter and slapped Vera’s shoulder.

“Lighten up. I don’t favor you much either.”

Following the snickering laughter were words that could be taken as provocation.

“What would I do with a snot-nosed brat like you?”

A wry smile escaped Vera’s mouth at her shrugging gesture.

“…Let’s stop with the nonsense.”

“Yeah, hmm. I’m a bit too excited since it’s been so long since I came back.”

Nartania’s gaze turned to the temple.

The expression that emerged on her face was clearly one of nostalgia.

“I’ve finally come home.”

Her red pupils shimmered with moisture.

Watching for a moment, Vera soon shifted his attention to the temple and asked.

“Where have the others gone?”

“They went ahead first. It’s time for everyone to sleep. Oh right, Gorgan left a request. He said to take good care of that puppy or something.”

“He’s leaving Hyria behind?”

“Yes. It originally belonged to that land anyway.”

It was an indifferent tone.

Even Vera could understand.

When they met in the Citadel of the Dark Night, she had seemed largely disinterested in even her own children.

Vera nodded.

The issue of Hyria wasn’t a pressing one, so it was best to let it be for now, he thought. Instead, he voiced another question that occurred to him.

“Is this place heaven?”

“That’s right.”

“That temple is…”

“The image of heaven you hold.”

Nartania’s smile deepened.

“To accommodate your common sense, this space has lowered its level.”

Her outstretched hand stroked the space.

“Otherwise, you’d be unable to comprehend it.”

“…A higher dimension.”

“That’s what the creations call it.”

There was a glowing temple.

After staring at it for a while, Vera tightly clenched his fists and asked.

“May I go there?”

“Yes. The Parent awaits you eagerly. You were a rather good child.”

A good child.

Whether it was because he had saved the world or due to being Ardain’s reincarnation, Vera didn’t know.

He steadied his breathing, then bowed to her in gratitude.

“…Thank you for guiding me.”

“Go on.”

Nartania turned away.

“Hmm, I should take a short walk before sleeping.”

And with that, she dispersed into light.

At the temple entrance where only the gentle breeze remained, Vera watched as she vanished from that spot, and then soon took a step forward.

***

Bizarre.

It could only be described that way.

Yet at the same time, it evoked nostalgia for some reason.

Step.

Step.

Vera walked along the path.

It was his first visit, and yet the structure felt so familiar as he walked ahead without hesitation.

However, that didn’t mean his mind was at ease.

Why would it be?

What awaited at the end of this road were the Creators of this Land where he was born and raised.

It was the place where the Parents of All Creation resided, was it not?

There were some questions he had in life.

Everything from macroscopic issues like why exactly they had built the world in this form, and why they had to end it in this way. To microscopic issues like of all people, why it had to be him, and why it had to be her.

As his head was muddled by all kinds of questions, Vera’s expression clouded.

He wanted to ask.

So, he pressed himself to move faster.

Nonetheless, he hesitated.

However, they didn’t wait for him.

Whoosh—!

The light spread outwards.

Vera narrowed his eyes and stared past it.

Eventually, what was revealed took his breath away.

“Ah…”

A short sound escaped Vera’s mouth.

It contained awe.

The nine thrones before his eyes and the incomprehensible existences seated upon them were the reason why.

Only now did Vera realize what Nartania’s words meant.

– Or you’d be unable to comprehend it.

That was truly so.

Vera couldn’t comprehend them.

He couldn’t sense their presence despite their existence before his very eyes, and despite being born as their child, he couldn’t feel them in his origins.

Thinking that the expression ‘mind going blank’ must be for moments like this, Vera stood there with his mouth wide open.

In that moment.

—–.

Something flashed across Vera’s mind.

Vera’s eyes flew wide open as if tearing up at that. Then, his body shuddered.

And then tears streamed down.

He didn’t know what it was.

Only that they had conveyed their intention to him.

Having barely grasped that much, Vera turned his head.

In the corner of the glowing temple was a small side door.

Biting his lip tightly, Vera headed for that door.

Having reached the sole door standing upright in this blurry world, Vera took one last look at them.

– The Gods do not give the answers.

Vera thought.

Just as Vargo had once said, that was the kind of beings they were.

Creak—

The door opened, and Vera stepped through it.

***

What followed was yet another completely pure white realm.

However, here too, Vera could see a path forward.

For within that pure white world was a pitch black road.

Vera walked along tirelessly.

With the strong intuition that the embrace of the one he longed for awaited at the end, he walked on.

He didn’t know how much time had passed.

He couldn’t even tell what this place was.

Buuuzzzz—

Only the occasional roars of the Holy Sword reminded him that this wasn’t a dream.

After walking for who knew how long…

[This way.]

A not-so-unfamiliar voice dug into Vera’s ears.

Vera looked up.

As he scanned his surroundings, he could make out a shadow.

All-black robes.

A golden pocket watch hanging around its neck.

It was Orgus.

He extended his hand and pointed in a direction. There laid a new path that hadn’t existed until now.

[Go ahead.]

Looking between the path and Orgus, Vera moved his feet once more.

Step—

Vera heard his own footsteps for the first time since coming here. Along with those steps emerged the thought that this space seemed to be reaching its end.

There was hope that he could finally meet Renee once he crossed over.

His pace quickened.

Before Vera knew it, he had shifted from walking to running, and then he dashed forth to that place.

But then.

Falter—

Vera stopped dead in his tracks, right by Orgus’ side.

[Go on.]

Vera’s head turned back to Orgus.

What unfolded beneath the robe’s hood was an infinite abyss.

As he stared straight at it, Vera’s lips moved a little.

“…Lushan.”

Orgus’ movements ceased.

The inside of the hood directly faced Vera.

For some reason, Vera imagined that he was watching him.

[Why do you think so?]

The questioning tone contained an odd hint of laughter.

Vera straightforwardly uttered.

“It just feels that way.”

There was no reason at all.

No, if he had to give one, perhaps it was from the strange nostalgia he felt from that man in the glowing temple before coming here.

He laughed.

Orgus—

—No, Lushan, shook his shoulders while smiling.

[Indeed…]

The hand that seemed like an old man’s blurred.

Vera could no longer discern if he were an old man, child, young man, or woman.

[Child, how was your life?]

The abruptly asked question was far too playful, allowing Vera to grasp his true nature.

Lushan, the God of Oath.

A mischievous teaser who was a fervent existence lacking form, taking on tens of thousands of forms depending on how he was accepted.

The most mysterious of the nine Ancient Species was another face of his.

There was a brief silence.

To his asked question, Vera responded with another question.

“Why was it me?”

[It simply was you.]

“Why did it have to be her?”

[That too, was simply because it had to be her.]

Vera let out a long sigh and glared at him.

Lushan’s laughter intensified when he realized that his evasive words that went in circles, seemingly refusing to provide any answers, were truly infuriating.

Vera kept his lips tightly shut, glaring at him. Then, he asked another question.

“…Why were you like that when I received the revelation?”

The first day he went to Elia, and the time when he first received his revelation remained vivid in his mind.

How empty had he felt upon receiving the ’Pass’ revelation he was given then?

Vera pressed his lips together tightly, wanting to hear the answer to that at least. At that, Lushan’s laughter ceased.

[…I meant the literal meaning.]

Lushan raised his hand.

Thump—

He answered while pointing at the center of Vera’s chest and at the soul within.

[You’ve already found it, have you not?]

Vera’s eyes widened.

Seeing him like that, Lushan asked once more.

[Now, tell me. What did you live for?]

Vera blankly pondered the question before smiling just like him.

Then, he turned around.

“Love. I lived for that.”

Having found his answer, he passed it to Lushan and headed beyond the path.

Lushan’s presence started fading away.

As his presence was about to completely vanish, Vera heard a soft whisper.

[Child, only now have you told me an answer.]

That too, was spoken in a tone full of laughter.