The Returner

Chapter 357: If it doesn’t want to improve, fixing it will solve everything! (2)

The newly-appointed director of the KSF, Jo Jung-Gu, had been spending unexpectedly quiet days recently. He thought that his life would become really busy after taking on the immensely important role of running the KSF, but to his great surprise, the KSF director wasn’t required to do a whole lot.

All he needed to do on the job was to get the budget and financially support the agents, and contact each branch to have them take care of the events happening there. The most important part of his job was to seek out cooperation from other departments if their jurisdiction overlapped.

‘Well, now. This position might be prestigious but there aren’t all that many things I’m supposed to do.’ (Jo Jung-Gu)

Now normally, people would label working in such a position as ‘jackpot’, or ‘taking candy from a child’.

“....It’d be nice if it was really a jackpot, though.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

Other people might see it as a jackpot, sure, but from Jo Jung-Gu’s perspective, this position was truly a stressful one.

When nicely worded, it was a role with nothing to do, and when you say it in a negative way, you were basically on standby for 24 hours a day. Gates opened up with complete disregard to whether it was day or night. Of course, it wasn’t as if he was absolutely needed during the anti Gate operations, but....

“Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk doesn’t have the concept of day or night.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

The thing was, he was told of this one thing in no uncertain terms when he took over the job.

“Most of the serious matters will be dealt with by Mister Choi Jeong-Hoon, but... Do not ever forget that the only reason why you’re in this position is to manage Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk! No, wait. Forget what I just said. Throw such a line of thought in the garbage can, right now. No, think of yourself as an assistant to Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk. He’s a lot more important than the entirety of the KSF, that’s why. Do you understand what I’m saying? You must remember what I’m telling you.”

“I’ll take it to heart, sir.”

Those words were from the party leader Song Jeong-Su, a man who was basically a mentor to Jo Jung-Gu. Since a man he deeply, deeply respected entrusted this role to him, he needed to give his everything to this job.

The only problem was, he had nary a clue on what he needed to give his everything to.

At first, he was quite enthusiastic. He investigated everything about Yi Ji-Hyuk, including the man’s tastes. He analysed his charge’s movement patterns and sought out what that man might enjoy doing.

After a lengthy period of investigation that allowed him to analyse everything, Jo Jung-Gu came to one single conclusion.

“This man isn’t someone you should provoke.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

Yi Ji-Hyuk had no desire – he had no material greed, nor any form of lust for power, either.

When nicely put, he was a herbivore. Or, the local clown when put not-so-nicely. And such a man was given the nonsensical level of power, so it was rather obvious that things would not function as they should.

If Yi Ji-Hyuk was someone filled with desire for power and wanted to achieve something, then Jo Jung-Gu would’ve had much easier time assisting the man. However, Yi Ji-Hyuk’s greatest plus point, which was also his biggest minus too, was his lack of desire for anything.

‘I just can’t understand kids these days.’ (Jo Jung-Gu)

If Jo Jung-Gu possessed such astonishing levels of power, he’d have swallowed up this country a long time ago. But seeing the punk with the power doing nothing but playing games everyday and generally wasting his life really churned the KSF director’s stomach.

The expected result of when that punk was provoked also proved to be quite severe.

‘He’s like a hornet’s nest.’ (Jo Jung-Gu)

Jo Jung-Gu could more or less tell why ‘management’ and ‘assistance’ had to happen at the same time. His job was to optimally get rid of any and all things that might irritate Yi Ji-Hyuk to the best of his abilities, and when the young man did ask for something, he needed to resolve that as quickly as possible.

However!!

“Why aren’t you going outside the residential area?!” (Jo Jung-Gu)

Sure, Jo Jung-Gu was grateful that no incidents had taken place so far, but wasn’t he more like a surplus stationery at this rate?

It was right then, his smartphone began ringing off the hook.

Jo Jung-Gu frowned and grabbed the device. All the calls related to his job should come through the landline, so the only types of calls to reach his private phone would be, well, private matters.

His wife wouldn’t be calling him at this hour, so most likely, someone was calling up him to ask for a favour or something.

‘Eii.’ (Jo Jung-Gu)

Feeling irritated now, Jo Jung-Gu lifted up his phone. But then, his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets after confirming the name on the display.

“Hul....” (Jo Jung-Gu)

The three words ‘Yi Ji-Hyuk’ were proudly on display on his phone’s touchscreen.

“W-what the hell?” (Jo Jung-Gu)

Jo Jung-Gu’s eyes began trembling.

“T-this guy, he’s actually calling me?” (Jo Jung-Gu)

Of course, he did hand out his business card back then. But well, he didn’t expect to get a call for real like this. No, wait – he did think that such a day would come, but didn’t expect it to be today.

Jo Jung-Gu swallowed back his dry saliva and cautiously answered the phone.

“Hello? Is this Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk?” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “Yup, it’s me.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Ah, yes! Please speak.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “You see, I’m in front of a department store.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Okay? So? What do you want from me, then? (Jo Jung-Gu’s inner monologue)

It was a skill to know when to separate what’s in your mind and what actually needs to come out of your mouth. As Jo Jung-Gu dreamed of becoming an excellent politician, of course he employed this indispensable skill.

“Were you out shopping? Did something happen?” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “A Gate opened up.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Jo Jung-Gu’s eyes shifted over to the computer monitor. He clicked on the map of currently active Gates minimised to the corner of the display and enlarged it. He then searched for a Gate closest to where Yi Ji-Hyuk was living.

He enlarged that, and for sure, there was a department store nearby.

“Ah, I see. I confirmed it just now. Is there some sort of an issue with the Gate itself?” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “No, it’s not the Gate, but the people that’s the problem. It’s been a while since the Gate showed up, but the KSF haven’t arrived yet.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Ah, so that’s the issue. Please don’t worry. I shall make some calls and find out what happened there.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

Jo Jung-Gu sighed in relief.

Yi Ji-Hyuk didn’t say something weird as he had initially feared. Jo Jung-Gu felt his chest tighten while wondering about what that man would say over the phone, but something of this level could be considered as pretty normal in nature, couldn’t it?

Too bad, his relief didn’t last for long.

– “I don’t think you got what I’m saying here.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Excuse me?” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “A Gate is about to open up, but no ability uses are here.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Ah... The situation is really urgent, then. I shall dispatch them right away.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “Awooo, really now?!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk suddenly raised his voice, causing cold sweat drops to form on Jo Jung-Gu’s forehead.

Why was this madman throwing a tantrum now?

– “Right now, the defence command has installed what needs to be installed and finished with their preparations already, so why hasn’t the KSF show up here yet?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“...........”

– “What, you don’t have enough cars because of budget?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“N-no.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “In that case, are they running over here on foot while carrying military gear?? Is that it? Marching all the way to their destination?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“That’s not true.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

Of course not. Why would ability users need military gear in the first place?

– “You think so too, right?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Of course.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “Then, why aren’t they here yet? Ah?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“.......”

If you say it like that, then I’ve got nothing to reply with. (Jo Jung-Gu’s inner monologue)

When Jo Jung-Gu became speechless, Yi Ji-Hyuk’s voice grew even louder.

– “I took care of so many things for you already, but you guys can’t even do this one thing properly? Isn’t this wrong on so many levels?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Actually, you haven’t done anything of note for the KSF lately. (Jo Jung-Gu’s inner monologue)

Although Jo Jung-Gu so desperately wanted to say that out aloud, there was no way he could do that.

“.....Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk, this problem isn’t as easy as you think.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

He needed to buy some time here.

– “Oh, really?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“We’re doing the best we can.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “You’re doing your best but things aren’t getting fixed. That means it’s beyond your ability, basically. Am I right?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Well, you could say that.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “I see.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Right at that moment, Jo Jung-Gu’s alarm bells went off.

If this phone call ended here, then something major might go off next. To a man in an administrative position, and also as a politician, listening to his gut instinct in moments like this was absolutely crucial.

“P-please wait for a moment, Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk!” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “Pardon?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“What are you planning to do after ending the call?” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “What do you mean, what?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Are you perhaps planning to call somewhere else?” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “Eii, why would I do something so cumbersome like that?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Ah.....” (Jo Jung-Gu)

Now that was a small relief. It seemed that he momentarily overlooked the fact that this punk lacked will to act despite being a madman.

However, the next set of words nearly put Jo Jung-Gu’s head in a spin.

– “No need to call someone, that’s gonna just tire out my mouth. I can just open up a Gate and go there.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“W-where will you go, then?” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “To where the dude in charge is.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I’m the one in charge, so who could you be....?” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “I mean, it’s supposedly beyond your ability, so I mustn’t peck at you anymore, right? That leaves me with no choice but to seek out the dude with most ‘ability’, then. I think that will fix everything, you see.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

It can’t be?

There’s no way?

“T-the one you were planning to talk to is....?” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “I heard that there’s a place in the Blue House where civil complaints can be made or something.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Hey, you crazy son of a....!” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “Eh?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I-it’s nothing.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

Jo Jung-Gu lowered his phone and tried to control his wayward breathing. One wrong thing said here wouldn’t just end with his political career ending with a whimper.

Seriously now, the enraged Song Jeong-Su might rush here wanting to kill his a*s.

“I-I shall sort it out right away. I’ll make sure that the KSF arrives on location in less than five minutes!” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “But, this isn’t a problem that will get sorted out with you doing something about it just this one time, you know?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“It won’t be ‘just one time’! I swear, I shall rip apart the current system and get to the root of the problem. Please believe in me.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “Hmm, well then.... I shall wait and see.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Thank you very much.” (Jo Jung-Gu)

– “Okay, then. Bye.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

The call had come to an end, and Jo Jung-Gu wordlessly glared at his own poor phone before shouting towards the outside of his office.

“Find out which branch is supposed to mobilise to where Yi Ji-Hyuk is, and call them up right now! Hurry the hell up!!” (Jo Jung-Gu)

“Who should we call, sir? The branch or the branch manager?” (secretary)

“Obviously the manager!! You asking me because you can’t figure that out?!” (Jo Jung-Gu)

The KSF director’s aura, where he might start throwing around his ashtrays and drag people to the infamous anti-Communist department, caused the secretary to tremble in fear.

“Y-you’re through, sir.” (secretary)

Jo Jung-Gu angrily yanked up the telephone receiver and began roaring mercilessly towards whoever was on the other side.

“Hey, you stinking Commie son of a b*tch!!” (Jo Jung-Gu)

*

“Kekekeke.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Park Su-Hwan heard Yi Ji-Hyuk’s ‘perfect phone call’ from the side and could only shake his head.

From the perspective of a man eavesdropping, he sure felt good to know that the KSF acting all arrogant and the like had to taste a pretty bitter pill here. However, when he thought about the state of the poor man needing to answer the call, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for that sucker.

“I think it’s all sorted out now.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“T-thank you.” (Park Su-Hwan)

“Don’t mention it. We’re all trying to survive together, anyway. By the way, how is Colonel Jeong In-Su these days? Last time I saw him, he seemed to have lost quite a lot of weight.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“He was promoted to Major General recently. As for his weight.... Well, uh, he’s bulked back up, so that’s fine but....” (Park Su-Hwan)

“But?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“But the, uh, hair loss....” (Park Su-Hwan)

Yi Ji-Hyuk wiped away some tears threatening to break free.

Aigo, that man. He’s been running around all over the place, so I was getting worried about him, but hell... (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Looks like I’ll have to pay him a visit later.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“To console him?” (Park Su-Hwan)

“Nah. It’s to get his hair growing again.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“....Excuse me??” (Park Su-Hwan)

Yi Ji-Hyuk smirked and replied.

“I have a way to make hairs grow again, you see.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

That was a reason why no bald uncles existed back in Berafe. Although, they did have skinheads there.

“A-are you telling the truth??” (Park Su-Hwan)

“Yes. What’s wrong?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Park Su-Hwan’s eyes trembled hard.

The method to solving humanity’s oldest unsolved conundrum, the hair loss, was standing right before him. This revelation was so monumental that he couldn’t readily decide which one was more important of the two – the Gate soon to be opening up or the solution to permanent hair loss.

“If you have time, uh....” (Park Su-Hwan)

“Eh? But, you seem to be well endowed in that area?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“It’s a toupee.” (Park Su-Hwan)

Park Su-Hwan took off both his cap and toupee, and Yi Ji-Hyuk could only frown.

“What an excellent baldie uncles association this is.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk) (TL note at the end)

“....I’m a fully paid-up member, yes.” (Park Su-Hwan)

“Well, okay. Let’s talk about that later, shall we.... For now, looks like the Gate’s about to open up, and the promised five minutes are also....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

The moment he said that, a bus appeared suddenly on the distant road crazily dashing towards his position. It was driving so fast that dust was being kicked up from the asphalt.

“Oh!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk saw that spectacle and nodded his head.

Indeed, one only had to peck away in this world.

Nothing was out of reach! This was South Korea they were talking about!

If the subcontracted employees learned of his thoughts, they might have started pelting him with rocks, but never mind that, Yi Ji-Hyuk was raising his hand to wave at the incoming bus.

“Argh, that b*stard!!”

The manager of the KSF’s Gangdong branch saw that scene and started spitting out several curse words.

“What are the grim reapers doing, not taking that guy away?!”

“.....I know, right?”

< 357. If it doesn’t want to improve, fixing it will solve everything! -2 > Fin.

(TL: No, there isn’t an actual association like that in reality. It’s one of the newer slang words invented in South Korea, “Min-du-no-chong/????” which is a parody of another term.)