The Strange Adventure of a Broke Mercenary

Proofreader: Xemul

Despite a few minor hiccups, the group went straight to the room that had been prepared for them. Although Loren being unable to stand the stares coming from the dining hall also played a part, the biggest reason was that none of them could not overcome their desire to rest their bodies.

The goods brought from the demon territory that were obviously not of human origin, were put away at the bottom of the luggage in advance so that they would not be seen by anyone, but Loren was careful not to let anyone other than himself touch them as he carried the luggage into the room. Once he finished the tasks, he sat down on a couch in the room and exhaled deeply.

“Loren, the bed isn’t a double, is it?”

“What did you expect?”

The room was furnished with two beds that were probably designed for one person, and two long couches, perhaps as substitutes for the beds.

As a large person, it was a bit difficult for Loren to sleep on the couch, but he quickly occupied one of them because he did not want to let Lapis or Gula sleep on a couch.

“I couldn’t just let Loren sleep on the couch…”

As Lapis said apologetically, Loren waved his hand at her not to worry about it and go to the bath first.

“It’s alright, just go. I’ll take care of the luggage.”

But Lapis gently rejected him.

“I’ve got some things I have to do first. Gula, I was wondering if you could take care of the luggage? So go ahead and take a bath, Loren.”

Loren was somewhat caught off guard by the way she said that. It was hard to believe that Lapis would have some errand that she ‘had to do’ in a passing inn town.

He was a little afraid to ask what she was going to do though. If he were to hear something outrageous, he would not be able to keep his peace of mind, but he also would have no way to stop her. So, he believed that it would be better to maintain his ignorance by playing blind and deaf unless a problem popped up.

“Is that so? Gula, are you ok with this? …Gula?”

Loren looked at Gula, who did not respond to his call, and saw her sitting on the edge of the bed unpacking with a thoughtful look on her face.

“Hey, Gula, what’s up?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, I mean, there’s nothing to worry about. I just… feel a strange presence, or something.”

Gula’s vague words were enough to make Loren feel uneasy.

Their party had once stayed in another inn town right before it was destroyed. Loren was thinking that something similar might happen here, but he hastily dismissed the thought. Thinking that he would be present anytime an inn town was destroyed seemed a bit too depressing, but at the same time, having such thought in the first place made Loren wonder if it was some kind of omen.

“It’s probably just my imagination, and I think you should go take a bath anyway.”

“I’ll do that…”

Loren decided to take a bath as recommended, feeling that if he became more cautious than necessary, it might trigger some strange event to happen. By not caring too much, maybe there was a chance that nothing would happen.

“I’m going out for a while, so I’ll leave you to it, Gula.”

“Take it easy, Lapis-chan. I’ll take care of it.”

Although Lapis and Gula were talking like they always did, Loren could sense that something was amiss from the content of their conversation.

Telling himself that it was probably just his imagination, he stuffed towels and clothes into a small bag and went to the inn’s bathroom, where he let out a small whistle of appreciation for the facilities there.

Loren had not expected much from a bathroom in a not-so-large inn in a not-so-large inn town, but when he saw it in person, he found that the dressing room was quite spacious, and the bathroom looked quite promising as well. He quickly took off his clothes, wrapped the thick cloth provided by the inn around his waist, and stepped into the bathroom.

Although Nig was fine with being in hot water at the Great Demon King’s castle last time, Loren felt that the inn would complain about him letting Nig in, so he decided to have the spider wait on his folded clothes this time.

It was said that in some places, it was customary to bathe in a bathing gown, but this bath was not designed to be so formal, and basically both men and women were allowed to bathe completely naked.

Behind the door separating the changing room from the bathhouse was an entire area made of stone, and was considerably larger than Loren had imagined. The bathtub was also quite spacious, large enough to accommodate several people of Loren’s size.

Loren, thinking that this would be a good place to enjoy a relaxing bath, first grabbed a wooden bucket to wash off the dirt and grime from his body, only to find that there was another guest behind the steam.

The other guest, who had been soaking in the bathtub up to the shoulders, stood up in front of Loren’s eyes, not even bothering to hide their body.

Loren himself was quite large and muscular, but the person in the bathtub was even larger than him, with a body that could be best described as all-muscles.

Loren, who was watching the slightly muddy water cascade over the body of what could be described as a giant, saw the face on top of the muscular body and ran out of the place with all the force he could muster in the next instant, forgetting his own state of nakedness.

“>.”

It was probably some kind of spell. The moment the words reached Loren’s ears, he felt something unnatural on the soles of his feet and lost his balance. He would have fallen heavily on the floor of the bathroom, but he quickly regained his balance and managed to avoid falling down by putting his hands on the wall.

Then, the large man who seemed to have cast a spell on Loren puts his hand on the wall as if to block his way.

‘I really want to praise myself for not screaming’, Loren thought to himself. A sense of danger that he had never felt even on the battlefield hit his whole body, and even though he was in the warm, humid air of the bathroom, he felt like he had been thrown into an ice-cold place.

The large man, his hand still on the wall, spoke to Loren in a tone of voice that seemed to say that he was not at all pleased with the situation.

“Why did you run as soon as you saw my face?”

“I’d like to meet someone who wouldn’t run.”

Hearing Shayna screaming inside his head, Loren, who was gradually regaining his composure, answered the large man in front of him, careful not to let his voice tremble.

“That’s rude, isn’t it?”

“Ngh rather than that, why the hell are you here?”

The man was staring straight at Loren as if trying to keep him from escaping. No matter how many times he thought about it in his head, the only answer Loren could come up with was that the man in front of him could not possibly be here, so he looked back into his eyes and asked.

As far as Loren knew, the man was still in Kapha when their party left the city. And even if he had left the city at almost the same time, there was no way he could have arrived in the northern part of the continent in just two days.

“Strange, isn’t it? Even if your existence itself is strange, is it strange enough to distort the physical distance in the world?”

“What are you talking about? You want to do it?”

Loren frowned when he saw the man licked his lips and felt the screams that echoed through his head increase in pitch and volume. Since it was not an actual sound, it was not likely to damage the eardrums no matter how loud it got, but it was still loud.

Even though she was imperfect, Shayna was still the King of Death, yet this being was capable of frightening her to this extent. Thinking that Shayna should not be the one to feel frightened, Loren looked back at Luxuria, the Evil God of Lust, who was right in front of him and was staring at him.

Far from what one would image of the title ‘Evil God of Lust’, the macho, jawbreakingly large man met Loren’s gaze and, for some reason, smiled.

[‘Onii-san! I fear for myself! Can I use any of the skills of the King of Death with all my might?’]

Shayna seemed to have been trapped by her fear and trepidation. Loren tried to soothe her while finding a way to escape from the situation. But Luxuria was bigger than him, and he was blocking one of the escape routes with his hand on the wall so there was only one way left, and he couldn’t get the timing right to move.

Loren’s eyes darted in all directions, looking for some way to escape, and he unintentionally found himself looking at Luxuria’s lower body.

Loren himself had wrapped a cloth around his waist to cover that part of his body, but Luxuria had exposed it completely, and when the long, dangling object came unmistakably into view, Shayna again let out a scream inside Loren’s mind.

[‘Onii-san! Peepee da-dangling! Peepee ‘]

Even though Loren had no idea what she was talking about, he tried his best to calm Shayna, who was probably in a state of delirium, while asking Luxuria.

“If you didn’t do anything strange, how are you here? It’s only been two days since we left Kapha.”

“What a stupid child. For us, distance is something negligible. Haven’t you ever seen a Gula disappear in front of your eyes?”

Loren searched through his memories.

The first time he met Gula, she was half-assimilated with a chief monster, but as soon as she was released from the assimilation, she dove to the ground and disappeared somewhere. If this ability was not unique to Gula, it would not be surprising that Luxuria, who was also an Evil God, could do the same thing.

“So, you’re here for real.”

“In the flesh. That’s why I’m lonely.”

With a whispering voice, Luxuria brought his face closer, and Loren was, uncharacteristically, prepared to die.

Of course, he was not prepared to just sit back and be eaten to death, but he was prepared to fight Luxuria without weapons or armor. Just as he was about to slam his clenched fist into Luxuria’s face, Luxuria’s body, which was crowding him, disappeared in an instant.

As Loren blinked and wondered what had just happened, he heard the sound of something wet slamming into the wall. When he turned to look, he saw Luxuria’s upside-down, spreadeagle body slid down the wall onto the floor.

“What were you going to do to Loren?”

The terribly unhappy voice belonged to Lapis. Wrapped tightly in a cloth with a wooden bucket and a towel in each of her hands, she was glaring at Luxuria with a steely gaze.

Although her eyes and posture were ruining the scene in many ways, the sight of Lapis was even more pleasing to Loren’s eyes than usual, especially after seeing Luxuria naked. Loren found himself calming down. As he did, he began to wonder why Lapis was in the men’s bathroom and asked her as such.

“Hey Lapis, why are you here?”

“I’m sorry Loren, it took me more time than I expected. Especially reserving the bathrooms for exclusive use and dealing with those who might interfere… But let’s not talk about it.”

“Exclusive use?”

“To make sure no one else comes in while I wash your back, of course? Bribing the inn was no trouble, but I didn’t expect an Evil God to be here.”

“And what do you mean by ‘dealing with’?”

“We had a discussion, but it ended in an unfortunate way. I had no choice but to roll them up in a mat and hand them over to Luxuria.”

Having said that, Lapis suddenly began to fidget and said in a small voice while looking at Loren with a slight blush on her face.

“So… I’m here to wash your back.”

“You’ve got a lot on your plate, don’t you? Well… Please do.”

Feeling terribly exhausted both mentally and physically, Loren had no desire to enjoy bathing or washing his body at this point. He could not even refuse Lapis’ offer, so he just sat there and let her do as she pleased.