The Villainess and I, her Zombie

*whoosh*

*whoosh*

*whoosh*

"Hey... are we there yet...?"

Zombie asked while kicking up his feet, sitting on the hard seat of a worn-down carriage.

His question was partially excusable, after all from what he knew, it took two weeks for his father to write a letter to Laura, sent it, and then get her to arrive – then why their travel was already two weeks long?! It wasn't like they were making lots of stops or anything, they basically only stopped for the night to rest.

Also, Laura wasn't allowing him to wander off or go hunt monsters a night at all.

While it was understandable, it didn't mean that Zombie would accept everything without a word.

|You are traveling towards the Envy territory alright, it just takes longer because Laura felt responsible for the injuries you've caused to Caramel and sold off the carriage and monsters she arrived with, paid for the proper medic to take care of her, and then bought whatever best carriage and monsters she could using whatever was left.|

Patience sounded as if they shrugged their shoulders and explained.

s

|And who asked her to do that? It's not like my parents didn't have the money. Also, I'm not going to forget that they rushed to the so-called proper medic and made that piece of filth look like nothing happened while I had to be patched up by the shocked old lady Apricot after we killed the demon centipede, poor granny almost had a heart attack when she saw me. But that pile of waste? Best medic available right away! They should just leave that filth messed up like that.|

Zombie complained internally while turning to stare through the window once he got no answer from the woman dozing off next to him.

|You know that they would do the same for you if you weren't such a little piece of work. The fake savior knows how to play the victim... not to mention that she's actually scared of you by now.|

Patience sighed and pointed out.

|Good. It would be perfect if she was so scared of me that she would think twice before approaching me in the future.|

Zombie scoffed and crossed his arms.

|Oh? Ah! You're talking about those few bonus events? They are not necessary for the route we're aiming for, so if any of them triggers you can just get away without a care in the world.|

|That said, those are still far into the future so you don't have to worry about a thing.|

Patience reassured him sounding as if they smiled.

*whoosh*

*whoosh*

*whoosh*

|Alright... With that out of the way, say, do you think that if I started kicking the opposite seat or the door, I would gain the strong kick faster? Or any leg base attack for the matter? Not having one is really bothering me, I miss my old speed.|

Zombie changed the subject seamlessly and sighed while continuing to kick up his legs.

|Wouldn't a normal skill like charge or sprint do the same job?|

Patience asked curiously.

|Pffft...! You might have memories of the game that the pile of human waste played, but I have the experience of combining different skills in practice. Acrobatics added to strong kick have much better control and allow for incredible flexibility for an attack. The charge is just rushing in a straight line and the number of times you can change direction depends on the skill level. The combination I used during the first playthrough allows for as many adjustments as I need when I need them.|

|So that is how it was, interesting... Still, to answer your earlier question – do not hit this shabby carriage, that things barely hold together, look, see this crossroad? We're only a few hours away from the destination and Laura's place. You don't want to walk there without your skills, right? On your short legs, it would take you five days to reach it by foot.|

"...tsk..."

Patience once again sounded as if they were shrugging their shoulders indifferently, causing Zombie to click his tongue.

|Calm down, there's no need to rush. Remember the plan, we need you to get registered at the adventurers guild and use one of the missions as an excuse to get to the forest where the elves are hiding – but with how you look now, there's no way that anyone would agree to register you no matter what trick or bribe we try. You need to be a bit taller for our plan to work.|

Patience reassured the young boy and reminded him about the things they've planned for the future.

|Until then just continue training your skills diligently, and maybe not give Laura too much trouble or she will never let you leave her sight – and remember, even if the plan regarding the elves will fail, you need to get run over by the carriage in less then four years or else there will be no one to protect Cranberry during the night of the hungry wolves.|

They added a warning.

|I know, relax.|

Nodded in agreement and smirked.

"...still, it's so boring... what happened to all the bandits...?"

Zombie went ahead and let out an actual verbal sigh, shaking his head in annoyance.

|Most of them aren't even bandits yet, that's why. The next few years will be especially tough for the commoners so many bandits groups will form – and everything will become how you remember it. But that's for the future.|

As it turned out it was also one of the questions that Patience had and answer.

|Besides...|

They've added.

"Bandits? Where?!"

Laura jumped up from her seat, with her hand already at her sword's handle.

|...annoying...|

Zombie's expression turned sour.

"I was just saying that we were lucky that never encountered any bandits. I'm sorry for waking you up."

s

But almost instantly that expression changed into an innocent smile as Zombie explained politely.

"By the way, could you teach me some of the sword skills once we finally arrive at the destination?"

He added putting his hands up to make it seem like he was much more excited than he actually was.

"...sure... IF your behavior will improve that is!"

Laure sat back down and declared, raising her index finger as a warning.