The Villainess and I, her Zombie

*SLAM*

"!?!??!!!"

Zombie opened the double door to the adventurers guild with enough power to make them hit the walls on both sides and shook on their hinges, making everyone inside jump in shock.

"...tsk!"

The boy in an oversized armor that made him look like a small angry barrel, clicked his tongue and walked inside glaring back at every single person that looked his way.

"..."

Wide-eyed Mia popped her head inside and stared at the boy's back in disbelief.

Wasn't it his intention to not make himself stand out...?!

With the boy stopping in the very middle of the main floor of the small building of the branch guild building, the dark-skinned girl sneaked her way inside and conspicuously joined the first one of the three lines to the counter manned by the members of the guild's staff, a human male, a human female, and a kobold male.

Meanwhile...

"..tsk!"

Zombie clicked his tongue again after angrily glaring at all three staff members and finally joining the queue to the male kobold, even though the other two had fewer people lining up for them.

"Hmph!"

*squish*

Zombie scoffed and put his mysterious bag down – and in the silence that befell the floor, the odd sound that its content made was perfectly clear.

After a few seconds of peace, the guild staff members returned to their duties and the lines were slowly moving up.

"Hey, kid, what brings you...?"

"Haa...?"

"N-nevermind!"

One of the adventurers tried to start a conversation with Zombie, but the boy glared at him coldly, and both his eyes and the hilt of the sword he put his hand on began glowing with the white light, making the overly familiar man back off instantly.

Funnily enough, even though the line that Zombie picked was longer than the others, the kobold was far more efficient with dealing with the adventurers than the two other staff members so Zombie ended up getting to the counter around the same time that Mia did.

"...and what I might help you, little boy...?"

The male kobold standing on the chair in order to see over the counter asked, looking down at the boy while raising his brow.

|Get irritated but not full-on angry. Remember to call him coal-digger.|

Patience gave the instructions.

"Haa...? Who are you calling a little boy, coal-digger?"

Zombie asked coldly, somehow managing to glare down the kobold, even though he himself was barely reaching the countertop.

"...!"

That remark made the kobold flinch and back off a little.

"I've come to register as an adventurer."

Zombie scoffed and put the filled-out application form on the counter.

"...a dwarf..."

The kobold picked it up and skimmed through the basic information.

"...if I may ask, what brings one of your kind to the Envys' territory?"

He asked looking over the document down at the boy.

|Refuse to answer, rub your chin, and act as if you are deeply hurt – no hostility.|

With a private prompter like that, acting wasn't as hard as it would be otherwise, especially if Zombie was forced to improvise.

"You can ask, but I don't wish to answer..."

Zombie lowered his head and touched his chin with a mournful expression.

"...I understand."

|Dwarfs start growing beards from a very early age even though they actually age much slower than humans. Their beards are their pride and joy – being shaved to such smoothness is the greatest shame a dwarf can suffer through. It means that they were banished by their clan, cast away to never return.|

|Then it's perfectly normal for a dwarf to actually be baby-faced even though they are adults in human years?|

|It's normal for a dwarf, period. Just remember to change the subject each time the facial hair will be involved from now on.|

|I'll keep that in mind. But remind me if necessary.|

|Look at you, getting so spoiled!|

"You didn't add the note from any appraiser – the thing is we do not have one hired on the spot, do you wish to refer you to one of the trusted ones?"

The kobold offered while reading through the application.

"No. I refuse to fill the pockets of some bribe-fattened human. I don't think that it would be necessary either. I do have the skills required, otherwise, I wouldn't survive the journey to this city."

Zombie scoffed and shook his head and even crossed his arms even though it was really hard to pull off because of the oversized barrel-like armor he had on.

"If that's the case, we can hold an entrance exam, or rather a test of skill, once at least ten new applicants who can't afford the appraisers' service. If you tell me the inn you're staying in, I'll notify you when enough newbies will show up so that it will make sense to hold one such exam."

The kobold offered to sound as if he spoke with the best intentions.

"I've said that won't be necessary."

Zombie waved his hand dismissively.

"You've had a problem with goblins around these parts, right?"

He smirked confidently and asked.

"There were some requests about it a few weeks back, it sounded like those nasty creatures were getting quite bold even, but as of recently everything calmed down."

The Kobold sounded as if he was sorry to disappoint the applicant, but to his great surprised Zombie's smirk only grew more confident.

"Yes, I know, I did say that you HAD a problem."

He snorted and picked up his bag – untied it and put it upside down.

*Squish*

"...oh my..."

The kobold, as well as a few adventurers observing the whole scene, gasped watching how tens of cut-off green ears – only left ears – poured at the guild's floor.

"You still pay for each goblin killed, right? I didn't know if you are in need of the goblins' parts so I didn't carry all the carcasses and only stored them safely so that they won't attract any stronger monsters, but if you will buy them, I'll deliver them within a day."

Zombie shrugged his shoulders, neatly folding the bag and storing it in the pouch by his waist.

"Provided that I will have a cart provided with no additional cost by the guild."

He added with a mischievous smile.