This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!

Wessler and I moved to the roof of the gym building. He had been here the day before, and at the top of the building was a place set apart for refreshments in an open-air counter.

He took a seat on the tables set on the roof while I prepared the drinks.

Two teas. No coffee. Suck on that you son of a bitch. Just don't spout bullshit and you would've got your coffee.

Titania was still down, having her time with the blue-haired fairy. She had stripped her down completely and had borrowed Catene from me, leaving me and my old friend alone.

After pouring the tea into two cups, I took a bowl of sugar cubes along and walked over to Albert. With his neck leaned back, he was staring at the sky.

I placed the tray on the table and kicked myself over on the chair across from him before shifting my gaze up.

Stars were scant. But the night wasn't dark. A bluish, almost teal glow emerged from the tower and dyed the night skies in auroras that one wouldn't see elsewhere.

Potent.

Terrifyingly potent.

These seven dungeons. They were closer than what I had heard of, they were more mysterious than what I had heard of, more intriguing than what I had heard of. Seeing things were certainly different from hearing them.

"Eight years…" Albert suddenly spoke. "The game is finally starting."

I picked up the cup of tea and took a sip. That guy's eyes were still fixed up.

"Do you… think we'll finally be able to go back home?"

Go back home.

I hadn't thought of it once.

Albert had changed. Like me, he changed in many more ways than one could count. I had changed too. If I told him how head over heels I was for Lethe, then he would call me someone else, it was to the degree.

To go back home.

"What's your name, Albert?"

Albert flinched. He turned toward me with a skeptical gaze.

"I… am Eugene Hall. What's your name?"

"Hah," Albert scoffed. "Don't kid yourself."

I didn't say a word and continued staring at him.

Albert clicked his tongue, dissatisfied.

"I am Albert Wessler. I will always be Albert Wessler. This stupid Albert of Pinot can't take over me, do you get it?"

"To each their own, Albert."

"What? Are you seriously…" Albert shook his head and sighed. "Fuck. You're probably going to say things like a name or identity doesn't matter to you."

"You're right, they don't."

"Exactly, what would you know?"

Albert grumpily turned his gaze away. He crossed his legs and gazed far into the sky.

One who had accepted his state, his identity.

And another who hadn't.

One who had made home.

And another who sought it.

I leaned back on my chair and took another sip of the tea, gazing into the distance just like him.

"I wonder how much you've changed."

"I wonder how much you've changed."

The two of us spoke at the same time for the third time already. I gazed at the bastard with disgust while he crossed his fingers.

Maybe we didn't agree on other things, but that was just like how we used to be before. As long as we agreed on one thing, the rest didn't matter much.

Things like change, ideology, goals, as long as it was fun, neither of us cared about those things.

The night deepened as we spent the first cup of tea in silence.

And in the next one, Albert spoke up.

"Albert Pinot… Rizzler."

"What?"

"That's the name of this character."

"No, no, say it again."

Blushing, Albert lowered his head.

"Pinot… Rizzler…"

"RIZZ… Hahpfft!" I held my mouth shut and grabbed my sides. But it was impossible. A spiel of laughter left me as I waved my legs in the air. "Rizzler! I can't… what the fuck is Rizzler supposed to be?! HAHAHA!"

"Stop it asshole!"

"Even I wouldn't accept it if my name was Rizzler hahaha!"

"Stop!! I'll kill you, ok? I'll seriously kill you!"

"What's your job, a rizzard?"

Instead of answering, Albert lowered his head further. The reaction only made me laugh more than before.

The second tea cooled down during our laughing session.

The night deepened even further and we poured out the third one. Facing each other.

"Ok, now serious, alright?"

"Sure, Rizzler. Pfft."

"GAH!"

"Sorry, sorry…"

With superhuman strength, I held in my laugh and sat quiet.

"So," Albert started picking up the tea. "I don't want you to panic, alright? Since you never played the game, there are some things you must know."

"Right, Eugene Hall is the name of a minor villain who harassed the heroines in the beginning, right?"

"Oh? How do you know?" Rizzler asked.

"I remembered you saying it once."

"Wha… so you listened all that time…" The bastard blushed and pushed my shoulders.

"Disgusting."

"Don't lie now, you thunder."

This fucker. I was going to spread his name now.

"Anyway… while yes, Eugene is a small villain that harassed the heroines, there's more to it."

I tilted my head.

As expected.

A dual-core with Charlotte for a mother couldn't be a simple villain. There was bound to be more to the story.

"After being humiliated by the heroines, he makes a contract with a demon…"

"Wait. How do you know that?"

Albert was playing the game while speaking. He didn't get far enough.

The bastard averted his gaze. "I read the wiki."

"Oh, you scum. I've never touched a game and even I know you shouldn't spoil yourself like that."

"It's just fun! Ok? Ok? Ok."

Albert sighed and shook his head. "Now, coming back. Eugene Hall is also the villain that pushes the world into chaos, the final boss that leads to the end of the world."

"Oh…" I leaned back. "Now you make sense, that's why the regressors are after me."

"Probably… WAIT WHAT?!" Albert stood up. "Regressors!?"

"Yeah. There are some regressors in this school apparently."

Albert leaned ahead and grabbed my collars. "You mean this world has already ended once?"

"Seems so," I nodded, relaxed.

"Who are they?"

"I don't know all, but there's a couple of kids from the boonies, the princess of Schwarz, and the third princess of the Atreus Empire—"

"—Anatolia…"

Albert completed my sentence.

"T-those… those are the heroines and the hero of the game…"

Well well well.

It was my turn to be surprised too.

"Eugene… we might have a situation on our hands." Albert said. "The original Eugene was the world-ender, and the original Albert was a perverted comic relief that stuck around the heroines. If they have regressed when the world had the original characters… they'll be after our lives."

"They are. That Anatolia tried to kill me and I wrapped her around my fingers."

"Fuck fuck fuck! You crazy fucker, how is it always into danger with you? From all those gates to the dragon, and now even here!"

Albert held his head and fell on his back.

"We need a plan," he said. "I thought we could stop any flags and the main characters will handle the rest. But now that they're after our ass, we need a plan."

"Do we? They don't sound like that much of a threat."

"Fuck, even in bad endings those guys were absurdly strong. We'll seriously die," Albert covered his eyes and leaned low.

Strong, huh? I liked the sound of that.

I wanted to face off against them, but I was planning to stick to my original motives as well.

I was here to learn and get stronger. The plot could go fuck itself. If there was no need to, I wouldn't earn their animosity.

The world can end when I do it. Not when anyone else.

"Ok, first of all. You've never been to hell, right?"

"I just crushed a part of it, nothing like a big tour."

"You fucker."

"Quit it with the curses, Rizzler."

"Ok, ok… so now, the main character and the main heroines know both of us. Of you, more importantly, since they'll want your blood. And even THAT demon Duke Dantalian is aware of your existence since you stepped into hell. Dantalian will definitely come for you in this school, and the main characters will know of it, and since you're somehow threatening the princess that'll play too and…"

Blabbermouth never knew when to shut up.

"Well, we're fucked from all sides."

"Just relax, Albert," I said, waving my hand. I tossed away his tea since it had gotten cold and poured the fourth cup for both of us. "Come on, take some tea, calm down."

Albert was sweating profusely but took the tea and relaxed.

The two of us stared into the distance as we sipped on our beverages. Sleeping wasn't in our plans anyway, so tea was fine.

"First rule of Pantheon Student Code, Albert."

"Face whatever comes your way with a bright smile."

I nodded.

Whether you had to run or you had to fight. Whether you lost or you won. Whether you lived or you died.

Hunters faced it all with a smile.

"We'll handle whatever comes our way."

"Yeah…" Albert nodded. "This Eroge, we'll fuck it over."

"There you go."

I nodded and the two of us sipped our tea.

"Hey, I had asked for coffee."

Fucking annoying bast—

***

Four days passed, and the day of the Entrance Test came around.