89 How could he fall for another
Whenever he found himself thinking about her, the guilt ate into his soul. How could he fall for another? How could he fall for another in months when he had mourned for Lilah for centuries?
He could not accept it, he did not want to; he was strong so he could stop himself from needing her. But that night, his heart had shattered into pieces seeing that man hold her like she was his.
It was at that moment that he knew he wanted her, and for himself, alone. He wanted to cut off the man’s hand that held her and pluck out the eyes that looked at her fondly.
Zavian couldn’t believe the whirl of emotions coursing inside of him as he stared at Neera.
This woman... what has she done to him?
“I...” Neera breathed as she coordinated her words. Doing her best not to say something out of line, to not make him angrier than he already was.
“He called to see me, saying that it was something important... ” Neera’s words caught in her throat when she realized she was making matters worse.
Zavian closed his eyes and opened them to her;
“I had asked you if you knew him before and you lied to me.”
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Neera stilled. “Your majesty, I... I did not intend to, and truly I did not know him, we’d only met once.”
Zavian frowned as he gazed at her;
“How many times have you met with him?” He asked, and Neera trembled, inching backward;
“Twice;” she lied. Again.
“I’ll give you one last chance to tell me the truth, do not dare lie to me Neera, I’m not kind when I’m mad.”
Zavian spoke in a calm, collected tone, but each word carried sheer power and dominance, and Neera knew she had better tell the truth.
“A few times! It was only a few times. I cannot quite remember how many,” she exclaimed, tears brewing in her eyes.
“Do you love him?” Zavian asked almost immediately, and Neera became quiet, then suddenly, she looked at the ground and chuckled painfully; looking up at him with tears in her eyes, she asked;
“Love? Do I know what that means? Am I allowed to do that, your majesty?”
She asked, tears falling from her eyes;
“I live every day like it’s my last, waiting for the day the witches would return and ask for my head. Everyone hates me simply because I look like someone I know nothing about.
And now, you are going to punish me for having a friend! I’m going to be punished for seeing the only man who doesn’t hate me in the entire universe...”
Zavian’s heart shattered when he heard her. Did she think he hated her?
“But I do not hate you...” Zavian said, his gaze softening and Neera smiled, shaking her head;
“Your Majesty, I am not delusional, I know exactly what I mean to you. You do not care about me, you only care about your wife who you see in me, I hate to say this to you, but I’m not her, and I can never be her. I only look like her, and that is it. If you’re kind to me because of that, I suggest you stop and treat me like you would treat a common maid, which is what I am.
If you were worried that I was trying to flee from you, I would do no such thing. My life is meaningless anyway, if its meaning would be to resurrect your wife, then I would happily die.”
Neera panted as she finished talking; utter silence filling the room. Zavian stood in silence as the painful words pierced at his heart. He did not know that the care he showed her disgusted her.
He had thought that he showed her kindness by letting her dine with him and stay in his chambers, but it seemed she loathed it but could not say it to him since he was the king.
She did not even believe that he cared for her. Anything he did for her, she saw as him keeping her alive for the slaughter.
He had been furious about her meeting with Axel, but now he didn’t know whether to feel guilty or enraged.
Neers breathed out as guilt ripped her; she had gone a bit out of line. Whatever it was, he had still been kind to her, and pricking the most painful memory he had was something she should not have done.
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmShe looked down at her feet and blinked;
“I am sorry, your majesty. I shouldn’t have said those things.” She apologized, bowing her head.
Zavian did not say a word. He just stared silently. There was a long pause before he finally spoke;
“You may leave.” He said, and without looking at her, he walked towards his balcony.
Neera stood on the spot as she came to herself and breathed. Did she say too much?
She turned and looked at the door Zavian had passed through and she felt more guilty. She saw the look in his eyes before he walked away; he looked hurt.
Neera did not know what to do, but she knew better than to remain there. Breathing out, she turned to the door and walked out of the room. She shut her door behind her after she entered her room, and walked to her bed, slumping on it.
She closed her eyes as she took deep breaths, thinking about what had just happened.
A frown formed on her forehead and she opened her eyes; how did Zavian know she was with Axel?
If he was looking for her, he could have easily sent someone, how was he so sure she was there, that he did not even knock?
And Axel; before Zavian came in, he mentioned he had not called for her. Neera’s eyes widened as realization hit her.
Someone must have set them up and told Zavian. But who was it? Who could have done such a thing?