To Hell With Being a Hero!

Chapter 123. My Boss, My Hero (3)

Chi-Woo doubted his ears. It was neither Eshnunna’s voice nor Mimi’s voice. What could it be then?

—His physical attributes are barely passable, but his foundation is no joke. It can outshine pretty much any talent.

It was that voice again. Chi-Woo raised his head slightly.

—Ha...

A semi-transparent arm popped out of the statue. Seemingly troubled, the figure in front of him scratched the helmet he was wearing. Chi-Woo had thought about the possibility... It really was Salem’s founder in front of him. Chi-Woo quickly lowered his head and prayed desperately.

‘Growth! I wish for an ability that will help me grow!’ Chi-Woo prayed, as he had been really envious of Ru Amuh’s Eudaimonism skill.

—Huh? Growth? You already have something good. So good that what I can give you won’t even be able to compare to it.

At first, the founder’s response disappointed Chi-Woo.

—Well...if you want it so much, I can give it to you. But I won’t be held responsible even if the ability I give you conflicts with what you already have and chips away from your potential... Ah! I got it, Ma’am! I won’t give it to him! I said I won’t!

Then just when the founder seemed to be moving in a desirable direction, his tone became conflicted again.

—I know too! That I shouldn’t hastily mess up this guy’s condition! But it’s he who wants it so much!

Salem Philip waved his arms madly and explained. Chi-Woo wondered why Salem’s founder was suddenly acting like this, not knowing that Salem Philip was currently in some hot water. The founder had planned to give Chi-Woo whatever and get the deal done with, but now, the two gods protecting Chi-Woo were furious at Salem Phillip. It was understandable, of course. Chi-Woo was like a being they had perfectly and beautifully decorated, and now some random guy was trying to make changes to him.

—La Bella and...no. Who is this bastard anyway?

Salem moaned, as he suddenly felt like a new bride getting scolded by her mother-in-law and sister-in-law.

—Shit. I have to give him something though because of the promise, but this wasn’t part of the promise, was it...?

A deep sigh followed. By now, even Eshnunna realized something was off with her ancestor. Normally, Chi-Woo should have gained a new ability already, but the statue showed no response at all.

“Dear founder?”

—Shut up. Shit.

As soon as he was called, Salem Philip got angry and cursed; of course, he said this knowing that Eshnunna couldn’t hear him.

—Bringing a guy like that out of all people...haaaa....

Salem Philip grumbled about Eshnunna for no reason and sighed deeply again. Chi-Woo was stunned. After hearing how the founder of Salem protected his kingdom even after his death, Chi-Woo had expected Salem Philip to be a more serious and solemn figure.

—Hey, you can see and hear me, right?

“...”

—Don’t fucking ignore me. I know you have Spirit Eye, punk.

The way he talked, Salem was like a gangster with blonde hair and purposefully tanned skin.

—Okay, I’m going to get to the point. Listen.

Chi-Woo decided to do what he was told to do for now.

—I will tell you the truth. Even if I want to give you an ability, I have nothing to give you. I don’t know what the hell you’re thinking, but abilities don’t work like 1 plus 1 equals 2, understand? It could become 0, or in the long-run, even a negative number, especially for someone like you. It hasn’t shown that much since you’re low level, but you are super well-equipped for growth. I bet you can’t even grasp how well prepared you are. But it’s to the point that even I can’t think of messing with it.

Salem Philip talked speedily like a bullet and suddenly stopped.

—...Hm. But...

Chi-Woo felt as if Salem Philip was looking into his insides.

—Yeah, that’s the problem. The balance seems perfect, but oddly not? No, the problem is it doesn’t seem to fit you, like forcefully putting on clothes that are not your size.

Chi-Woo flinched slightly. He felt like Salem Philip’s assessment had hit the mark.

—So, I’ll help you.

‘?’

—Speak properly, you punk. So rude when an adult is talking to you. Anyways, the situation is like this: I have no ability to give you even though I have to because of the promise I made with my own damn mouth. And I suppose I have to keep this promise in another way.

Chi-Woo decided to stop thinking for a bit. He couldn’t tell whether Salem Philip was doing something good or bad for him.

—Hey! Of course it’s something good! Come on, tell me the truth. Even with all your abilities, you still don’t have a good grasp on how you should use them right? Well, I am telling you that I would guide you through the process. I will teach you well as your master, give you advice, and pass on my experiences and techniques along the way. How does it sound?

—Think carefully. It’s a rare opportunity to be taught by someone like me.

Salem Phillip talked just like a scammer, and he didn’t sound convincing at all. But when Chi-Woo actually considered his words, it didn’t sound like a bad offer. Salem Philip was the founder of a kingdom, a king, and a hero. One would be hard-pressed to even compare his experiences and strengths to Chi-Woo’s. Thus, learning and studying under a figure like that certainly seemed like an attractive offer. After all, learning how to fish was better than receiving a fish in most cases.

—That’s right, punk. Why are you hesitating with such a delicious offer in front of you? Just take what is good and dig in.

—Okay, I’m going to say that you agreed. Don’t say anything else later, got it?

Chi-Woo nodded blankly.

—Sigh. Good. I was getting sick of resting. I should think of this as my chance to see the world.

It was then Eshnunna gasped, “Huh?” The statue was starting to disappear from its head to toe until it became crumbs.

Shhhhh... It scattered into ashes. Eshnunna’s mouth dropped.

“Uh....Uh....” She seemed so stunned that she couldn’t speak. But Chi-Woo could see him clearly.

—Yo.

In place of where the statue was was the spirit of a cheery-looking young and handsome man, waving his hand at Chi-Woo. The man was semi-transparent like normal spirits, but his shape was quite distinct. Divine energy flowed out of him. It didn’t appear to be a recurrent ghost or a mischievous spirit, but the spirit of a war hero.

—Well, since things became like this, let’s get along.

The spirit Salem Philip said before transforming into a sparkling white fog and seeping into Chi-Woo’s head. Chi-Woo was startled by the unpleasant sensation hitting his mind and body. He had experienced this sensation many times since he was a kid when spirits of the dead tried to enter him. If things went wrong, it could lead to a possession.

—Yeah! Being in a body is awesome. This container is no joke. It will be able to contain me and have space left over.

But unaware of Chi-Woo’s feelings, Salem Philip continued to exclaim in excitement.

‘Ah...I was tricked,’ Chi-Woo grumbled inside his mind. He was curious how Salem Philip was planning to teach him, but if he had known the founder would do this, Chi-Woo would’ve reconsidered the offer.

‘It’s all my fault.’ Chi-Woo had been too careless, just taking anything he was offered. Now, he had to go around with some random ghost inside him.

—What was that, you punk? Did you call me a random ghost? A ghossst?

Salem Philip burst out.

—Are you just blabbering your mouth because you are a hero from the Celestial Realm? Hey! I used to be a hero too! If it wasn’t this stupid oath I made, I would’ve gone to the heavens long time ago! You hear me?

It seemed Salem Philip wanted to highlight the point that he was an altruistic, supreme being who had given up on his godhood on his own will. Nevertheless, Chi-Woo decided to accept the current situation as it was for now. Exorcizing spirits was his specialty after all. He would let the spirit be, but if the spirit tried to steal his body, he could simply chase the spirit away.

—What? Chase me away? Are you kidding me, you bastard? And do you really think you can do that? Hah!

Salem Philip snorted.

—Let’s see if you can. You seem to be seriously looking down on me, but guys like me have souls on a different level even after we die—

“Nama Saddharma Pundarika Sutra.” Chi-Woo began to mutter a prayer from the Lotus Sutra. Hearing this, Salem Philip laughed, asking what the hell this punk was doing, but soon, he stopped laughing.

—The fuck?

He felt an indescribable energy that was forcefully trying to pull him out.

—Uh? Uh, what?

He was taken aback for a moment and soon, he raised a white flag.

—I give up! I give up! I’m sorry, sir! I did wrong! I won’t play around anymore, so please!

Chi-Woo stopped before chanting the Lotus Sutra the third time and smirked.

‘You must have changed your mind, sir,’ Chi-Woo thought.

—Fuck, I was almost forced to ascend.

After having a good taste of Buddhism, Salem Philip seemed to have settled down a bit. Chi-Woo’s mind was still cluttered from Salem Philip making a fuss, but Chi-Woo calmed himself down and looked back to Eshnunna. She was still staring at the pile of ashes like she was frozen into place.

“Uh...” Chi-Woo said, and Eshnunna’s neck seemed to creak toward him. Chi-Woo felt a bit guilty seeing how lost she appeared and said with some difficulty, “Should we...get out of here first?”

The two turned around and went back upstairs. Eshnunna didn’t say anything on their way out, and she seemed to be extremely unsettled.

Then, after they closed the door, Eshnunna said, “I’m sorry. This has never happened before... I didn’t know it was all used up.” It seemed Eshnunna had completely misunderstood the situation.

—Woah. Why is this place so empty? Back in my days...

On the other hand, the reason for this fiasco, the founder of Salem, was too busy looking around and acting like a boomer that it was difficult for Chi-Woo to focus.

“The founder of Salem... What kind of person was he?”

Eshnunna’s eyes widened at Chi-Woo’s question. She hadn’t expected it.

“I’m not sure...” Eshnunna tried to reach into her memory.

—My oh my. Are you guys talking about me?

Surprisingly, Salem Philip quickly caught on that they were talking about him and swiftly moved back towards them.

“I only read about him through records, but...I read that he’s fair and wise.

—You got it!

The corner of Salem Philip’s mouth curved upwards.

“Just.”

—Yoyoyoyo~

“And a righteous and noble person who sacrificed himself for his kingdom.”

—Yep! And that’s me, the founder of Salem! Ppu! Ppu!

...It was hard to believe, but the founder of Salem, Salem Philip, was now twerking in front of Eshnunna’s face. By his actions, Chi-Woo realized that on Liber, it was apparently considered noble for a guy to make such a commotion in front of a person old enough to be his granddaughter.

—What you looking at, you punk! Kehehehe!

When Chi-Woo gave him a look that seemed to say he was pathetic, Salem Philip laughed like crazy.

—What? You think a hero is any different? We’re all just humans at the end of the day. Why can’t we also make a scene and play around? Is there a rule that says we need to always be serious?

Chi-Woo agreed with these words somewhat, so he stopped shaking his head and shrugged.

On the other hand, Eshnunna seemed to have misunderstood Chi-Woo’s reaction and apologized again. “I sincerely apologize. I’ve only wasted your time.”

—Sigh, it’s all right. You did nothing wrong, my dear child. This weird bastard is the one throwing a wrench into the situation.

Chi-Woo gave the beaming Salem Philip an indifferent look before saying to Eshnunna, “It’s all right.”

“But even then...”

“Honestly, I was going to come and find you soon.”

“Really? Why?”

Since he ended up seeing her, Chi-Woo used this opportunity to tell her what had been on his mind.

* * *

The next day, Chi-Woo sent a message to Ru Amuh as soon as he woke up. Chi-Woo wrote that there was something he wanted to talk to him about and asked if Ru Amuh would lend him some time. He got an immediate reply.

[Of course. Since I’m training in my house, please come visit whenever it is most suitable for you.]

[Ah, Ru Hiana asked me if she could also join. Would that be all right with you?]

Chi-Woo replied that he didn’t mind and would come to visit as soon as he finished his training. He began running like usual. Chi-Woo ran along the city walls while breathing fresh air.

–Yawn.

While running, Chi-Woo stole some glances up in the air. He saw Salem Philip lying down in the sky above him, using the air as his bed. Salem Philip yawned constantly and looked bored.

–I’ve had the thought before, but now that I’m looking at it directly, the situation really is serious... Tch. I shouldn’t have come out.

Philip murmured to himself, and Chi-Woo’s eyes narrowed.

‘Excuse me.’

–Hmm? What?

‘You told me you’ll teach me. When are you going to do that?’

–Ah... Well, let’s take it easy. There’s no need to be in such a hurry. It’s not like you have to leave immediately.

Chi-Woo had asked the question in the hopes that Salem Philip would leave and go somewhere else. No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t trust Philip. A person’s speech had a significant impact on whether one could trust them. Philip spoke crudely, and he showed none of the elegance of a hero. Since he acted like a gangster, there was no way Chi-Woo could trust him.

–And there’s no need for me to intervene when you’re doing well by yourself.

Salem Philip yawned and continued.

–Running is gr~eat. Well, your posture isn’t so bad. But in the first place, is there anything for me to teach about running?

‘Running is the basics. It’s important.’

–I know that too. What I’m saying is that do I have to teach you how to quickly move your two feet? It’s not like you’re a baby who just learned how to walk.

Chi-Woo had no comeback for that since Salem Philip was right.

–The most important thing about running is persistence and motivation. I don’t know about anything else but...ah, even then, there’s something I need to tell you.

Salem Philip smacked his lips and pointed his chin at Chi-Woo when he stopped for a moment to swing his fist.

–Don’t do that thing in the middle.

‘What are you talking about?’

–You know, how you suddenly stop running in the middle to twist your body and swing your fist.

‘Why?’

–What do you mean, why? It’s fucking pointless. Why do you do it in the first place?

Why? It was because... Chi-Woo wanted to reply, but he had nothing to say. Now that he thought about it, there was no specific reason. He merely saw Ru Amuh do it and copied him; Chi-Woo also saw boxers on Earth do as well.

–There’s nothing more useless than pointless training~. Anyway, is your weapon your fist? I’ll respect that if that’s your style, but you know that it’s much more advantageous to use a weapon than your bare fist, right?

Chi-Woo fell into thought again at Salem Philip’s question. ‘I know that. I’m going to practice with a weapon later on.’

–Why? Why don’t you want to learn it right now?

‘I want to first train how to use my body first.’

–So yeah, why?

‘Well, let’s say that I use a sword. That’s merely an extension of my physical body, since it’s the same as my arms getting longer.’

–...Uh...

Chi-Woo repeated exactly what Ru Amuh had told him, and Salem Philip’s face looked blank.

–Yeah. Your body and your weapon should be one. You’re right in theory, but...

Salem Philip tilted his head and looked down at Chi-Woo with an inquisitive look.

–But considering your condition, won’t it be better to learn how to use a weapon a little? Like basic swordsmanship. Or it doesn’t have to be specifically swordsmanship. It’s better than not learning anything.

‘Do I really need to learn swordsmanship?’

–What?

‘Don’t I have to just learn how to swing and pierce?’

–What did you just say?

‘A sword is just a murder weapon in the end. It’s a tool you use to optimize killing your opponent.’ Chi-Woo had had a fantasy about swordsmanship in the past. However, after talking to Ru Amuh, he completely changed his way of thinking. Chi-Woo recalled what Ru Amuh had told him.

[In fact, I don’t know any complicated and profound swordsmanship.]

[I only know the most basic techniques everyone can do such as piercing, slicing, and swinging. It’s the same for hand-to-hand combat.]

[I did that because I knew a sword as a weapon to kill others and nothing more. I wasn’t able to find any other purpose for it.]

Chi-Woo had seen the point in Ru Amuh’s words and witnessed in person the way he fought.

‘That’s why I want to learn how to fight with my body first and then, learn how to use a weapon.’

Chi-Woo, who had been running for a while, blinked at Salem Philip. The spirit had been talking so much while he was running that it was getting annoying, but now he was quiet. ‘What’s up with this dude?’ Chi-Woo was starting to wonder what Salem Philip was thinking and slightly glanced up.

–Ahahahhaahah!

Then, he suddenly heard a burst of boisterous laughter.

–Ahat! Uahahhhhahahhha!

Salem Philip rolled around in the air and clutched his stomach while laughing his head off.

“What the... Why are you laughing?’ Chi-Woo looked at him with confusion.

–No-ahhah! Because!

Philip clapped his hands and laughed. He continued laughing for a while and barely managed to calm down to respond to him.

–Hey, tell me honestly. What you just told me—you heard that from someone else, right?

Chi-Woo was taken aback; Salem Philip hit right on the mark. ‘Is that important?’

–Not really. But it’s funny.

‘What’s funny?’

–You punk! You don’t think it’s funny that a guy who never even properly swung a sword before is talking so much about this and that?

Chi-Woo’ face instantly flushed. How did he know? ‘I just thought...it made sense.’

–Oh my! That’s what you thought? Then why didn’t you keep that in mind, instead of saying it like it was the sole truth?

Chi-Woo couldn’t argue with that, because in matters of training, he had completely trusted Ru Amuh’s words.

–Hey, in the first place, a sword is just one of the many weapons you can use in any place. It’s the same for swordsmanship. Ever since humans started using tools, we’ve been honing techniques and methods to improve swords and our swordsmanship. For tens of thousands of years, humans have been continuously researching ways to make swordsmanship more sophisticated and systematic. If what you said is true, why did people spend so long studying ways to improve a technique that is worthless? Why, because everyone is fucking brainless?

While Philip laughed his head off, Chi-Woo was not able to say a single word. Now that he heard it like this, Philip seemed right.

–Sigh. I guess you’re not at fault. It’s the fault of that punk who told you that. He made you so full of hot air.

‘...Don’t talk about him so rudely. He’s an amazing friend.’

–Oh my. You mad, punk? Well, I guess you’re entitled to your feelings. But let me tell you something.

Philip spun a full circle and landed right in front of Chi-Woo.

–The friend who told you that is either one of two things.

He laughed before continuing.

–He’s a damn genius that’s hard to find even if you search throughout this whole universe. Or, he’s a once-in-a-lifetime idiot that you’ll never encounter again.