Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Feodora-san seemed to like the yakitori sauce version very much and was taking alternate bites out of a leek & chicken skewer on one hand and a thigh meat skewer on the other.

It was quite a refreshing way of eating.

“Please accept my apologies for my brethren’s behaviour,” Elland-san seemed quite embarrassed.

“No, no, it’s all fine,”

You might find me a rather disappointing man, but I can’t say I hate it when a beautiful woman like Feodora-san stared at me with glittering eyes. [5] Although her eating style was kind of… unique, her beauty is amazing enough that I’d jump at the chance to date her.

In the first place, what are the chances of meeting such a beautiful woman back in Japan?

I tried to imagine Feodora-san as a girlfriend…

Mufufu, isn’t it great?

I mean, she came all the way here just to look for me so, at the very least she doesn’t dislike me right?

Perhaps… my spring has finally arrived?

Lost in my fantasies, I continued to grill yakitori on automatic.

Knock, knock, knock…

“Mukouda-san, are you there?”

Is that… [4] “Gaudino-san?” I looked at Feodora-san who was still eating and turned to Elland-san. “Sorry, but could you let them in?”

“Sure, sure,” Elland-san went off and came back with the rest of the members of the [Ark].

“I knew you’d be here…”

“She must have been attracted by the smell of delicious food,”

“They say that elves would do all kinds of things for the sake of delicious food, but this one’s particularly problematic. To think she’d just barge in uninvited…”

Gaudino-san, Gideon-san and Siegwald-san all stared with dismayed faces at the Elf who was still chomping on yakitori sticks as though her life depended on it.

“I’m sorry Mukouda-san,” [3] said Gaudino-san. [5] “She’s a first-class Adventurer, but…”

Oh? It looks like Feodora-san really caused trouble this time, but since she’s my girlfriend candidate… [6] After all, I’m in an isekai fantasy world, right? So having an Elf girlfriend should be part of the package, right?

Anyway, if she did become my girlfriend, she’d have to leave [Ark]. So, I should do everything I can to make her team members like me so they won’t hate me too much when that happy moment happens.

“No, no, it’s all fine,” [7] I said. “Would you like some too? We’re having charcoal-grilled Cockatrice. I’m pretty confident with my grilling skill, so won’t you try some?”

I began handing out yakitori skewers to Gaudino-san and his friends.

“No, no, you’ve already treated us just the other day,” they backed away from the skewers. So I placed the yakitori on plates and pushed those onto them like an insistent shopkeeper.

“Go on, go on, give it a taste,”

At my insistence, they finally picked up the skewers and took a bite.

“Woah, I thought the smell was incredible, but the taste… amazing!”

“Delicious~ This is too delicious~!!”

“Tasty! I bet it goes great with a good drink!”

As expected of the Dwarf, he sure knows his stuff.

“Please wait a moment,” [1] I took care of Fer, Dora-chan and Sui’s next set of ‘seconds’, topped up Elland-san and Feodora-san’s portion first before bringing out a large bottle of black label beer from Company S. I still have quite a few left from the previous party.

I twisted the cap off and poured cold beer into three glasses and handed them out to the three [Ark] members.

“This liquor goes best with the skewers, so, please go ahead and try it.”

“Sorry for making you treat us all the time,”

“No, no, it’s all fine. Go on, go on, drink up~”

For the sake of my future relationship, I must grease my way into their hearts via food and liquor.

“Woah! As expected! This is great with liquor!”

“Kuu~ delicious~!”

[6] Fufufu, have you come over to the dark side?

Beer and yakitori are an irresistible combo!

“Ah, Mukouda-san’s recommendation is always excellent. This liquor goes very nicely with your food. Oh, speaking of which. Gideon, Siegwald and I have consulted and we want you to have this.”

Gideon-san held out a dark green, teardrop shaped stone about 5cm in length.

“This is…”

[4] “It’s a Teleport Stone for a dungeon in the Elman Kingdom,” said Gaudino-san as he casually dropped the stone into my hand. “There are two types of Teleport Stones, disposable and reusable.”

As I studied the stone in my hand, Elland-san sidled over to take a look and exclaimed, “My goodness, that shape… isn’t that a Teleport Stone for Brixt Dungeon? Also, that colour… it could reach the 30th floor and could be used repeatedly!”

“Oh? You know this stone?” [6] my estimation of Elland-san went up a little.

“Naturally! It’s the Teleport Stone for the dungeon in the City of Brixt. [5] The most valuable one in fact! [4] [2] Moreover, Brixt is classified as one of the most difficult dungeons in the world. No one has ever cleared it before. It is estimated to have over 50 floors but the deepest anyone has ever reached was the 37th floor and that was 100 years ago!”

[5] [6] “Woah, 37th floor… wait, this stone reaches the 30th floor, so that means…”

“Exactly! Teleport Stones could only rarely be obtained through Boss Drops on every 5th floor. Of the Teleport Stones obtained, most of them are single-use stones that Adventurers could use to activate magic circles from the floor where they obtained the stone. [5]”

[6] “So, you could use the stone to travel to any floors?”

[4] “Any of the floors above the one you got the Teleport Stone from could be accessed. Let’s say you got a Teleport Stone on the 10th floor. You can activate any magic circle from Level 10 all the way to the surface level. Naturally, you can only use a disposable stone once.”

[6] “Woah,” I looked at the stone in my hand with new eyes.

[4] “Teardrop shape is particular to Brixt Dungeon. Oh, and depending on the colour, it’s easy to tell which floor the Teleport Stone is from. Reusable stones can be distinguished from single-use stones by the intensity of the colour.” [5] [8] “This… isn’t this an extremely valuable thing? Are you sure you want to give it to me?” [7] the stone suddenly felt very heavy in my hand. [5]

A chorus of ‘Of course!’ answered me.

“We owe a lot to Mukouda-san after all. To be able to eat such delicious food and drink my fill of delicious liquor. If I don’t thank you in any way at all, I’d lose the right to call myself an A Ranker,” [7] said Gaudino.

“What leader says! Also, I have to say our party’s pretty lucky. We have another Teleport Stone exactly like that one. Our party got the first stone before Siegwald teamed up with us,” said Gideon.

“[5] That’s right, there’s no point keeping duplicates. So please take it,”

[4] “Well, if you insist… I shall accept it gratefully,” [5]

“That’s the spirit! Now that you’ve cleared Avering and Doran’s dungeons, I expect you’ll be heading to Brixt soon, eh? Do lend us a hand when you’re there!”

[4] “No, no, I have no such plans… [5]”

“Although I guess before going to Brixt, you’d probably want to stop by Resendal’s dungeon first?”

[4] “S-siegwald-san, I really have no plans to-”

“Uhoh! The meat dungeon! But of course!” [7] Gideon-san began to laugh.

[4] “A meat… dungeon?”

“Exactly, exactly! Meat is a necessity for Mukouda-san’s party! That’s right, you shouldn’t miss the meat dungeon,” [3] Elland-san chimed in.

“Excuse me, but what is a meat dungeon?”

Elland-san rubbed his hands together and began to explain, “Rosendal’s dungeon only consists of 12 levels and has fairly low difficulty. However, it’s still very popular due to one unique feature.” He smirked, “Most of its Drops are meat. That’s why it’s commonly known as the ‘meat dungeon’.”

“If you think about it, food is the number one consumable product in the world. Poor or rich, strong or weak, everyone has to eat. So it’s rare for people to not make money off meat. Moreover, if you are that hard up, you can even eat the Drop items. Therefore, it’s probably the best kind of dungeon for Adventurers.”

“Yeah, lots of Adventurers settled in that city to raise their families. [6] Low-level danger, steady income, plenty to eat, what’s not to like?”

“Rosendal itself became the centre of meat commerce thanks to the meat dungeon. So it’s just as busy as Doran or any big dungeon city.”

[9] “Speaking of which, it also sells a special kind of meat product that can’t be found anywhere else,” said Siegwald-san. “Meat stuffed in intestines. Similar to the ones you made at the last party. Although those are fresh.”

[9] “Oh yeah, those are good! A bit strange at first but delicious! Rosendal has dried ones that make good rations.”

[9] “Meat stuffed in- Oh, do you mean sausages?” I was intrigued. Intestines are considered organ meat, but I guess it’s a universal idea to stuff meat into the intestines? Though I can’t think why…

[9] “Mukouda-san grilled some fresh sausages this morning, it was delicious!” Elland-san sighed. “Speaking of which, I think the practice of stuffing meat into intestines got started in Rosendal due to the large quantities of White Sheep Intestine Drops.”

“Rosendal’s sausages and dried meat are really famous. Oh, and if you find any salted White Sheep Intestines for sale, they most probably came from the dungeon so the quality’s pretty good.”

A meat dungeon, eh? How intriguing, we should visit there to stock up on meat someday.

Maybe.

“Why don’t we go there after this?” there was a wide smile on Elland-san’s face.

“Eh? We? Eh? Elland-san, don’t you need to return to Doran? Ugor-san will be really angry, you know?”

Elland-san’s face fell and he muttered, “I guess you’re right…” [5]

The other three members of the [Ark] laughed and began to tease Elland-san. “The Guild Master needs to go back and work.”

“Doran…”

[8] A melodious female voice chimed like a bell in my ear. Ah~~ it’s Feodora-san’s voice. When did Feodora-san appear~

“Oi, Feodora, don’t tell me you want to go to Doran too? Well, you can’t because we’re challenging the Avering dungeon tomorrow,”

“Exactly, the last time we were at Doran we were supposed to stop for a bit but we ended up staying there for a year,”

“[5] All because you wanted to see your grandson, so don’t be selfish again.”

“… hmm?” I seemed to have heard something strange…? [5]

“Oh? Feodora’s grandson is in Doran?”

[6] There’s that word again!

“Ah, yes. Feodora has four children and the eldest daughter’s family is in Doran.”

It… sounded a lot like ‘grandson’? And four… children?

“Ah, a daughter. Are they an Adventurer family?”

“Nah, husband and wife are in the medical field. Neither have anything to do with the Adventurer’s Guild.”

“Well, since they aren’t Adventurers, I guess it’s no surprise that I don’t know them.”

[8] “Anyway, we went to Doran last time because Feodora received a letter telling her that her daughter had just given birth. The original plan was to drop by and take a look before going to the dungeons. However, three months later, Feodora said…”

The rest of the talk between Gideon and Elland-san was nothing but buzzing sounds in my ear…

“Feodora-san has… a grandson?”

“Ah, I guess it’s kind of shocking for humans,” said Elland-san. “Elves aged pretty slowly. We hit adulthood at 30 and pretty much looks the same until we reach 300 years old before we start to age a bit. Speaking of which, I’m 334 years old and still looking very fine, hahaha!”

“Aha… ahahaha…” my laughter clearly stems from pain.

Here I thought my spring has arrived but… the woman I like already has four children and a grandson…

No matter how beautiful she is, it’s impossible to establish a relationship with someone like that.

Ugh, I feel so sorry for myself.

Looks like even after coming to another world, spring hasn’t come to me yet.

Curses.

[Gumihou: Aww, lol. No big tit elf girlfriend here, move along everyone.]

By the way, Eguchi-san also provided us with a small omake. So please enjoy~

In the Divine World.

Ninril: What’s with that punch line? Maa, I expected it somehow. That guy’s overall luck is not bad, but his love luck is really poor.

Agni: Bwahahaha! True, true! That guy’s love luck is in the single digits!

Kishar: Wait, don’t laugh, Agni. Maa, I guess with a plain face like that it’s hard to have luck with love.

Ninril: Exactly, that man’s face is too forgettable.

Agni: Right? Right? How could such an ordinary person appeal to the fairer sex?

Kishar: Still, don’t you think this Other Worlder-kun has some appeal of his own?

Ninril: Impossible. How could a plain face guy with a wishy-washy, indecisive, let-sleeping-dogs-lie attitude appeal to great me? Also, his happy-go-lucky attitude really grates on my nerves. Humph!

Agni: Ahahahaha! Looks like he’s not only out of love luck, he’s out of love fate too.

Kishar: Even so, I don’t think women of this world would hate a man like Other Worlder-kun. A happy optimistic guy like him has a certain charm that could appeal to some women.

Ninril: Really? Well, I think men like that are not attractive at all, naa.

Agni: So it’s an absolute no for you? Maa, well, I think it’s a no for me too.

Ruka: … … haah…

Vahagn: Women are too cruel, God of Smith.

Hephaestus: So they are, God of War.

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken

[9] Missing Link: They were talking about ‘the city of meat’ and suddenly it cut to Mukouda’s thoughts on sausage? Gumi decided to fill in the missing link and create a whole dialogue out of the paragraph below:

According to the story, it’s also the birthplace of sausages. In this world, it was said that the internal organs were not eaten, but they sold sausages in there? It got me quite confused. It was said that the White Sheep Intestines used to make sausages dropped in large quantities in this dungeon.