Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

It was pretty easy to decide on the recipe.

Something meaty and garlicky with extra meat.

“It has to be the garlic steak, right?”

It was also simple to make and would be very satisfying for any meat, meat, meat fanciers.

The question now was, “What meat should I use?”

I cast a glance at my familiars. The taste of garlic will probably make them eat more. Also, I might just have to feed an Ancient Dragon on top of my usual line of gluttons. How much do dragons that size eat anyway?

When it comes to volume, I have plenty of Dungeon Cows. But Fer wanted something ‘luxurious’, so, should I serve a bit of Gigantic Minotaur meat too?

Well, they should understand that I don’t have that much Gigantic Minotaur meat, so there. Also, let’s make Garlic Fried Rice with the leftover garlicky and beefy tallow from frying the steaks. If they’re still hungry after the meat fest, they can eat those too.

Yes, let’s do that.

Now that I have decided on what to make. I took out my magic stove and started cooking.

[8]

First, I got the Gigantic Minotaur meat and higher ranked Dungeon Cow meat. After estimating how much meat I would need, I began to cut the meat down into steak sizes and then make grid cuts on the Dungeon Cow meat. The Gigantic Minotaur meat was so tender that I could skip this step.

Next, I prepared high quality salt and cracked pepper to be sprinkled on the steaks before turning my attention on a few bulbs of garlic. The garlic should be finely sliced. I plan to make garlic chips and then use the garlic oil to fry the steaks.

After making the garlic chips, I scooped them out of the oil, sprinkled salt and pepper over the nice thick steaks and set them onto the pan. The smell of meat and garlic began to fill the air and even my mouth began to water.

“O-oi, not yet?”

I turned around to see a drooling Fer and Dora-chan. Next to them was a furiously vibrating Sui.

I really wanted to make Garlic Fried Rice on the frying pan of tallow and garlicky goodness, but, let’s serve the grilled Gigantic Minotaur steaks topped with garlic chips first.

“Here, have the Gigantic Minotaur Steak with Garlic Chips first,”

I haven’t let the steaks rest enough, but from the way the trio sunk their teeth into the food…

[8] [9]

“Hey Fer! Don’t chomp it all down in one bite!”

“Delish! Keep it coming! More, more!”

““Woah, this is awesome~! And these crispy little things are super yummy~!!””

“”Yummy~ Sui want to eat lots~!””

As I continued to cook more and more food, the smell of garlic began to permeate the entire dungeon. I also change up the flavour of the steaks by serving them with butter to make Garlic Butter Steak. Then, with soy sauce to make Garlic Soy Sauce Steaks. One after another, steaks just disappeared down my familiars’ gullet.

In short, I was kept very busy.

Not busy enough to ignore the rumbling in my stomach, though. During a lull between feeding, I helped myself to one of the steaks.

“Woah, this Garlic Butter Steak is really delish~”

“Umu, agree.”

“”I like this one, the butter flavour is very rich and delicious.””

“”Sui likes it too~~””

“Keep it coming!!”

“”Ou!””

“”Meat~!!””

“Oi, you guys…”

[9]

“HEYYY!!!”

A deep and powerful voice interrupted us.

“… …” ah, to think that I had been so busy cooking that I actually forgot about the Ancient Dragon in the background.

I turned around and saw the Ancient Dragon glaring at us, drool gushing from the corners of his mouth and around his fangs like a waterfall. He looked… extremely angry.

Fer bared his garlic sauce-stained teeth at the Ancient Dragon, “What is it? Why are you being so loud?”

“Who’s being loud?!” the Ancient Dragon roared. “Unfair! Let me eat too!”

“Humph, what’s unfair? He feeds us since we’re his familiars. Why should an unrelated old geezer like you get to eat my master’s food? You have no right to my master’s delicious food.”

Fer deliberately chomped down on another piece of Garlic Steak, and was making ‘this is yum’ noises just to provoke the Ancient Dragon.

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrr…” the Ancient Dragon gnashed his teeth at Fer.

The sight of those sword-like fangs were… well, I’d rather not look at them.

To be honest, with a title like ‘Ancient Dragon’, I had half expected the dragon to be something like a wise or fearsome creature. After actually meeting one, I found that they were basically just oversized gluttons with too much power.

Seeing it going ‘grrrrrr’ and the pooling drool at its feet, I started to feel a little sorry for this fearsome looking dragon.

“Ah, Fer? I know you don’t want to, but, surely it’s fine to share some food with the dragon?”

“Well said, human. Aren’t you an understanding fellow?” the Ancient Dragon suddenly said. It was grinning at me. It was not a pleasant sight.

“Mu, you’ve always been too soft. You think we have enough food for that unnecessarily huge monster? I refuse to share my food with a big eater.”

“”Yeah! No way!””

“”Mu, Uncle Dragon eat all meaty~?””

“… I guess you have a point…”

“Hoho, if your concerned is my large body, well…”

There was a sudden flash and suddenly, the huge, ginormous dragon begin to shrink. He stopped shrinking when he was about the same size as Fer.

“Wow, you can change size?”

I had vaguely wondered how a ginormous dragon made its way down here, especially through the not-so-large areas between floors. Looks like he could pass through them by changing his size.

“Old geezer, I didn’t know you can do this kind of trick…” Fer appeared shocked by this.

Speaking of which, Dora-chan looked shocked too.

“Fufufu, there’s no problem if I’m this size, right?”

““Wow~ Uncle Dragon has the same skill as Sui~! Ei~!”” Sui suddenly enlarged, and… I suddenly have three large familiars and one small dragon. [5a]

Dora-chan, “”…I suddenly feel left out.””

“Ahahaha…”

“Well, human? Gimme the food.”

“Humph, why are you acting all self-important? So what if you’re smaller? Only familiars are allowed to eat Master’s food.”

“Hah, that’s for the human to decide. Well, human? What do you say?”

Even at a smaller size, those knife-like fangs were still too horrifying for me to look at directly. Anyway, I have already prepared enough food for a fourth glutton.

“Sure, sure, hold on a bit.”

Ignoring the ‘gununununu’ from Fer in the background, I served the Ancient Dragon a large portion of Garlic Steak. Naturally, all my familiars get a piece too.

After taking a bite of the steak, the Ancient Dragon paused. Then, he started to tremble.

“Erm, are you alright? Is there something wrong?”

“D-”

“D-?” wait, he isn’t going to tell me to ‘Die!!’ or anything like that, right? I backed away slowly.

“D-d-deliciouuuuuuusssss!!!!!”

“.… ah.”

“What is this? What is this thing? Why is there such a delicious thing in this world?!”

Fer chuckled in a superior way. “Fufufu, did I not tell you? My master makes the most delicious food. Savour it, old man. This is the first and last time you shall taste this deliciousness.”

“What?! WHY?!!”

“Humph, only his familiars are privileged to eat this delicious food every day, three times a day.”

“Every day… three times a day… Human! Let me be your familiar too!!!”

“Wh-”

“No way! Old geezers like you are not suitable to be Master’s familiar. The last time we fought, you have just woken up from a 20-year sleep. I’m guessing you’ve been sleeping here too, haven’t you? Huh? How many decades have you been snoring your way here?”

“Eh? Decades…?”

“Kuh… I stop by this place for a nap after our fight. Then, I wondered about another continent before coming back here… about 100 no, um, it should be less than 200 years ago.”

“… who counts sleep time in the decades?”

[10]

“A-anyway, since I have slept for over a century, I don’t need to sleep a lot for a while. I could stay awake for a human’s entire lifespan.”

“Hah! Let me tell you now, Master’s lifespan is about 1500 years thanks to the Blessing (small) of the God of Creation. A fickle old geezer like you could never serve his entire lifespan!”

“Gununu… 1500 years is a long time to not sleep… But… delicious food…”

“Kukuku, give it up, you old lizard. It’s impossible for you!”

“No! I refuse! Then, 300 years! Make me your familiar (temporary) for 300 years!!”

“W-wait, ugh, your face is too close!” I quickly backed away from those knife-like fangs.

“Oi, stay away from him, you old fart!”

“Shut it, you! I’m negotiating with the human. 300 years! 300 years of my service, well?!”

I was pushing his face away from mine, now. Who cares about the fangs? This dragon has the worst morning breath ever…

“Ah, could you just-”

“300 years! 300 years of service from a dragon!”

““Oi, Master already has a dragon!”” Dora-chan called out.

“A big dragon! I can crush cities, destroy mountains-”

“I- I don’t actually need that.”

“Oi! I said leave Master alone!”

“Please! Let me eat your food!”

“A-alright, alright! Fine, whatever. Get your face away from me!!”

“Fuhahahaha!! Excellent, excellent! I am now your familiar!!!!” the Ancient Dragon crowed.

“Eh, what? What are you talking about?”

“You idiot!”

“Hahah! This old dragon is now a familiar (temporary)!”

“What? But, how?!” I wailed. I don’t want a big dragon as a familiar!!

“Gunununu… this cunning old lizard…”

“Hoh hoh hoh, we are companions from now on. So, let us get along well! Gwawhahahahaha!”

“… …”

Anyway, that was how I got an Ancient Dragon as a familiar (temporary) for the next 300 years…

[Gumihou: Yeah, redid the whole ‘negotiating’ scene. Pushed it into something fast and rushed instead of clunky and repetitive]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information… starting to delete pointless scenes now

[a] Delete scene where Mukouda stopped Sui from enlarging herself. Replaced it with a non-plus Dora-chan who felt left out.

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative License – adjust cooking instructions, because it was wrong. Please do not shake the pan after putting the steak in to ‘make sure it doesn’t stick’. Are you making a stir-fry or a steak?

Also, why do you start cutting and frying the garlic after you’ve seasoned your steaks? DO NOT let the seasoning sit on the steaks for too long. Especially when it’s the good cut. Seriously, please don’t.

[9] Plausible dialogues

[10] Dragon negotiating with Mukouda, basically rewrite the whole thing.

It was originally Mukouda giving in, but Gumi changed it to dragon making wide interpretation of Mukouda’s ‘alright’ to his demand for food.