Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“I’m back~”

After Grandpa Gon landed on the outskirts of Carelina, we entered the City with me riding on Fer. [1] Thankfully, we no longer have to line up to enter the city, much to everyone’s relief.

When we reach the gates of my house, I found the twins guarding the gates.

“Welcome~~”

“As expected, Mukouda-san is safe.”

“Ah,” I said a little embarrassedly, “Well, we happened to travel quite a bit further than expected…”

“Eh, we know it had to be something like this,” said Luke.

“Toni and Alban were making such a fuss about it,” Irvine shrugged.

“Ahaha…”

“Especially since Mukouda-san is with those two titans of power,”

“Yeah, who would dare mess with ‘em?”

Are fighters all like this?

“Haahhh…” whatever, let’s ignore the twins and go reassure my people.

I headed towards the garden with my entourage. As expected, I found the men (and boys) tending the never-ending chores that gardening entailed.

“Hey, I’m back!” I said cheerfully.

“Mukouda-san!” Alban got up from tending to a tree and beamed at me.

“How’s the field?” I asked.

“Wonderful as usual, we shall be harvesting something later in the evening.”

“Brother Mukoudaa~~!!” Lotte-chan ran over happily. “Mother and Father and everyone is so worried~”

“Oh my, as you can see, I am back safe and sound,” I said as I rubbed her head.

I can see that all of my normal employees are visibly relieved to see me back. See? Didn’t I tell them that everyone (minus the idiot twins) would be worried about me staying out too late?

Geez.

After greeting everyone and letting see that I have returned in one piece, I made my way towards the kitchen. I’ll have to make the minced dishes I promised them in return for leaving the Behemoth family alone.

Let’s see, the Fried Meatball in Sauce, Meatball Soup, Cheese-in Salisbury Steak as requested by Sui… eh, why not make Meatloaf, Minced Meat Cutlets and Scotch Eggs while I’m at it?

[1a] The ladies were more than happy to assist me, which made everything go more quickly. While I may have the title of ‘Solitary Cook’ it was nice to cook with others.

I made extras of everything, of course, letting the ladies help me form the meatballs, peel eggs and other small fiddley jobs that needed to be done for the finished dish. When the minced meat was all used up, we minced up even more meat with the Mithril Mincer…

The eyes of my familiars all lit up at the sight of the minced meat feast. The food was gone in a flash, and I was finally able to take a break.

As I was enjoying a coffee, Fer and Grandpa Gon muttered to each other. I caught bits of their conversation, which involved words like ‘fish in a lake… too bad… we should go again soon..’

“… …” I am not going to be tricked the second time, you two!!

Humph.

The next morning, after breakfast was done, Fer made an announcement.

“Today’s dinner should be Karaage.”

“… uh huh?”

What’s with this sudden non sequitur?

[1b]

A magic bag was dropped in front of me.

Ah.

“You’ve been hunting birds?” I asked, picking up the magic bag.

“Umu, indeed. Make them into Karaage.”

I gave the bag a wary look, then at the very nice and clean living room. “Let’s do the reveal in the garden,” I said.

Fortunately, I waited until we were in the garden before I started pulling out dead monsters. The magic bag (extra large) appeared to contain an endless number of dead birds.

“How on earth did you manage to catch so many?” I asked as I pulled out yet another Cockatrice.

“Umu, it was only an average amount, the bag has limited space,” said Fer smugly.

I gave him a look. If others heard how you call an extra large magic bag as ‘average’ they will cry.

After laying the corpses (they really are corpses…) out in the garden, I finally noticed something different.

“Hey, isn’t the Cockatrice bigger than usual? And that Rockbird… is it me or are its wings darker? Also, the Orcs… do they always have that reddish tint on their skin? And the Goblins…”

“They are mutated species that could only be found on that mountain,” said Grandpa Gon.

“Hah? Hah, wait, haahhh?”

Wait, wait, I heard about this before. Yes, that documentary, the documentary about the tabletop mountains. Unique species that could only be found on top of the mountain that can’t be found elsewhere… I guess it’s the same here?”

“”Aruji~~ look, look~~ Sui beat this one~~””

Sui happily bounced on top of a Troll. A Troll with a reddish skin tone. It was also large than any trolls I had ever seen.

“”I got this spider!!”” Dora-chan announced as he hovered over an unusually large spider.

“… …” I shouldn’t, but… “[Appraisal].”

Spider Queen Nephila (mutant)

… this variant could only be found in the Land of Uranus…

Uranus? Is this some kind of joke [1c]? Is it a dirty joke?

“Hey, um, so, is that place we went just now called… Uranus?” [1c] Ahem, I’m not laughing. This is not a laughing matter.

“I do not know what humans called it,” said Fer.

“Humans appear to call that place ‘Forest of the Sky’ or just ‘Uranus’,” said Grandpa Gon helpfully.

“I- I see…”

A quick glance over the various corpses in my garden revealed that many of them have ‘variants that could only be found in the Land of Uranus…’

Among the more familiar-ish looking creatures, there was a black anaconda creature with two heads, a green tiger with camouflage-like patterns and… all sorts of other things that I had never seen before.

“… I wonder, if the Guild will take everything…”

“Umu, let’s bring them to the Guild and turn them into meat!”

Fer sounded very enthusiastic.

““Let’s eat them as soon as possible, I wonder what mutant Cockatrice tasted like~~!!”” said Dora-chan.

“”Sui wants to eat too~~””

“Well, I already know what they tasted like, but I look forward to seeing how Master prepares them.”

Hahh… well, since everyone is so enthusiastic, let’s go to the Adventurer’s Guild.

Eguchi Ren: For some reason, I seem to lack motivation today. I shall end it here for today.

Gumihou: Hmm, I did get the impression that the past two or three chapters were a little more chaotic than usual.

[1] Added Details

[1a] Cooking Assistance, was not mentioned at all, but it made sense for the ladies to assist their master

[1b] Adjust words for maximum dramatic delivery.

[1c] Since my readers are English speakers, sprinkled in some ‘Uranus’ jokes.

[2] Greatly reduced ‘x number of people were relieved to see me’ because it is tedious and draggy.