Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Eguchi Ren: This chapter may be a little short

Gumihou: Eh, we’ll see what we can do about it. Also, readjusted the chapter so that it reflects the less spineless Mukouda

“Ha ha ha… haahh… death penalty… to think that I was almost given the death penalty…”

Fer had swiftly stepped out of the audience hall and leapt out one of the large windows into the palace garden, much to my consternation. I had gone beyond embarrassed into catatonic as my entourage of Legendary Beasts and outrageously impatient and powerful familiars strolled down the streets of the Royal Capital.

Dora-chan was zipping around in the air, doing loops, while Sui was perched on Grandpa Gon’s head going ‘Wai~ wai~’ over everything.

“Please tell me that was a nightmare,” I muttered.

Fer snorted, “Humph, it was a nightmare indeed. What a boring place.”

“It felt like I was stuck in a fevered dream…” mused Grandpa Gon.

I cast them a sideways glance, before sighing, “I guess it can’t be helped. But I do wish you hadn’t been so disrespectful to the king.”

“Who’s disrespectful? I was very merciful to those vermin. In the first place, I have no reason to not squish them all like the miserable insects they are.”

“They were at fault for wasting Master’s time,” said Grandpa Gon.

“… …” I didn’t realise that Grandpa Gon is so good at flattering.

“Fumu, at least the king realised a superior being when he sees one,” said Fer with some satisfaction. “It’s those presumptuous insects that annoyed me, I should have stepped on one of them.”

“…please continue to show such restraint in the future,” I said.

I never should have brought these impatient titans of power into a room full of bureaucrats in the first place, what was I thinking?

Haahhh…

Right, there’s no point in thinking about things that have already happened. I should think about the future instead. What should I do now?

“Hey, let’s get out of the Royal Capital before anyone accuses us of blasphemy or something,”

“Mu?”

“Master?”

I glared at the two troublemakers, “Because of you two… I could be persecuted just for being your master, you know!?” I jerked my hands up, pulling fistfuls of Fer’s fur in frustration.

“Oi, talk if you must, but why are you pulling at my fur?”

“Shut up! You’re the one who started this!” This time, I started intentionally yanking at the fur.

“Me?! Grandpa Gon was the one who spoke in the audience room first! I didn’t start anything!”

“Kuuhh—” I glared at Grandpa Gon, but, the dragon scales looked too tough to even crack with a mithril knife so I gripped more of Fer’s fur and yanked again. “I’m sure you must have something to do with it! You were yawning your head off in the audience room, didn’t you? You were egging everyone on!!”

“Tch, fine, I admit it! But so what? If you want to pull my fur, go ahead! You’re only pulling out old and loose fur anyway. So, thank you for getting rid of them.”

“Chaaaa–!!! Take that! And that! And that!! I’m going to give you a bald patch!”

“Humph, it barely tickles,” Fer muttered indifferently.

That made me tug harder, but, despite ending up with handfuls of fur in my hands, it did not seem to bother Fer at all.

“Kukukuku, it’s useless~”

“Gununu…”

“There, there, Master. You will not be charged with anything, I’m sure,” said Grandpa Gon soothingly. “The woman sitting by the King will not allow it.”

“The woman sitting by the King? Oh, you mean, the Queen?” I scratched my head, trying to remember the other half of the royal couple. All I could recall was that she was tall, blonde, and very regal-looking and… was probably the most cheerful person in the room when Fer carted me out. “What about her?”

“As creatures of great strength, we could tell when someone holds true power in a situation. The woman is the one in power.”

Sooo, the Queen wears the pants in that relationship?

Personally, I don’t know how this would help me at all…

“Doesn’t the king have to listen to his courtiers and ministers too?”

“Tch, those weaklings who soiled themselves in the room? All that woman has to do is look at them to overpower those miserable little insects.”

Ah, now that I think about it. When Fer and Grandpa Gon released their killing intent in the room, the ones that were not affected were the King, Queen and a few soldiers. So… I guess?

“She is also the one who says we could do as we like in the city.”

Frankly speaking, I had trouble remembering what happened in the room, let alone what was said, but… “Is that so? I mean, we’re in the clear?”

“We are, in Master’s words, in the clear. So, do not worry so.”

“I see…”

“Oi! Haven’t I been saying this from the beginning?”

“Tch, how annoying. It’s because you guys are always doing whatever you want! It stresses me out!”

“”Hey! Enough talking! Let’s go to the stalls!!”” Dora-chan suddenly zipped past us.

“”Aruji~~ hungry~~””

“I am hungry too, Master,”

“Umu, my belly is now ready to receive food.”

“I-”

“”Oh, hey! That stall looks interesting! Let’s gooo~~!!””

“”Yay!!””

Haaahhh, what choice do I have but to go with them as my ride automatically followed after Dora-chan?

From here on, the Gluttonous Quartet proved why they were called that way as they munched their way through various food stalls and restaurants in the city. By the time we finally paused, the sky had already turned red.

“”Hmm, the food here is not bad!””

“”Yummy~~””

“”Umu, it was good. Only a little inferior to the stalls near the meat dungeon.””

Everyone started speaking via telepathy again after I received one too many weird looks from the locals.

““A meat dungeon? How interesting, I would like to pay a visit as well.”” Grandpa Gon looked at me hopefully.

That was when I realised that all of my familiars were looking at me with large, shiny eyes.

“I… I already promised Maynard and Enzo that we’ll be visiting them during the next Meat Festival, so…”

““Mu!””

““Yes!!””

“”Yay~!””

“”Ho ho ho, I look forward to it~””

You guys have just stuffed yourselves full of stall food, but you’re talking about your next big meal already? Haahh…

As we meandered through the streets, there was something niggling at the back of my brain. I have the oddest feeling that I have forgotten something…

Just then, I caught sight of a large building just down the street. There were a lot of Adventurers hanging around the building, waiting to get in and report their mission-

“Willem-san! I completely forgot about him!!”

I rushed forward ahead of my familiars. Woah, the building looked even more splendid up close. However, I didn’t see Willem-san anywhere.

“Excuse me,” I said as I squeezed through the tough people around me.

Once I popped through the crowd of people… I found a demon standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed.

“You—-!!!”

“Hiii!!”

[Gumihou: I adjusted a lot in this chapter too.]