Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“…I’m bored…”

“Umu, so bored.”

“”Boring…”

“”Sui is bored~~””

It had been five days since I had left the Dragon Turtle at the Adventurer’s Guild. It wasn’t long before Fer, Grandpa Gon, Dora-chan and Sui became tired of hanging around with nothing to do.

“Why don’t you take a nap?” I said suggested half-heartedly.

Fer snorted. “I’m bored,” he repeated.

Grandpa Gon said, “I have slept for about 200 years. I could stay awake for the next 100 years.”

[1] That… was actually mind-boggling. I can’t imagine being awake for more than three days in a row, let alone 100 years… Will I die if I try to stay awake for more than a week? I heard that people could die from lack of sleep…

Sui and Dora-chan were saying something like ‘Naps are boring’ and ‘Don’t wanna sleep anymore!’ [1] and more significantly ‘Where is the Dragon Turtle meat?’

In short, everyone had had enough free time and wanted some action if they did not get to eat Dragon Turtle. It’s not like I could just distract them with dragon meat every time, right?

However, there was nothing much I could do about the Dragon Turtle that had been sent for dismantling. It’s all in the hands of the Guild now.

Every day, the first thing they ask after breakfast is ‘Where is the Dragon Turtle meat?’, ‘Can we eat Dragon Turtle meat today?’

Haahh…

I could only calm them down by telling them that Johan-san was not back yet, but I think we were close to the limit of the Gluttonous Quartet’s patience.

Frankly, I was a little surprised they lasted this long.

Fer had been saying ‘We can’t eat the Dragon Turtle, so let’s go and hunt’ from day three onwards…

I was running out of excuses when a messenger came from the Adventurers’ Guild telling me that the dismantling had been completed. Great, I was this close to barging in and telling Willem-san to just hack off a limb for us…

Message received, I hurried over to the Adventurer’s Guild with my hungry familiars.

“W-we managed to complete the dismantling,” said an exhausted-looking man.

I recognised him as Johan-san’s helper. I think he’s on some sort of apprenticeship? Anyway, he was the number person two in the demolition department.

“This was his first time taking something as huge as a Dragon Turtle apart. Moreover, it is a new type of creature, so you can’t fault him for being slow. Especially since he did not have Johan-san around for advice,” said Willem-san pointedly.

Haha, sorry.

Still, I don’t mind being dissed like this, especially since I really need this meat to prevent my familiars from dragging me off for another trauma-inducing hunt.

“No, no, you’ve really helped me, haha.”

“The work may not be very neat, so please forgive me,” said the apprentice.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, you must have been surprised when the Guild Master suddenly gave you this big job, right? I’m sure you did your best. In fact, I think it’s great that you managed to complete such a big job in five days without proper guidance. It may not be pretty, but we can still eat it!” I said cheerfully.

That’s right, the most important point was that I have Dragon Turtle meat in my hands now~ With a final wave goodbye, I left the Guild with meat and the partially dismantled Dragon Turtle. Things like shell pieces, skin and fangs as well as other valuable materials would be processed by Johan-san once he’s back. For now, Willem-san insists that I take everything back with me and to not return until Johan-san is back in Carelina.

[1] “Wait! Don’t do that! Come back and report to the Guild if you’re travelling on that dragon of yours!” Willem-san shouted suddenly.

[1] “Haha, I had been wondering about that…”

In fact, I hope to not travel anywhere on GG Airways as long as possible. Trust me.

“”Master, I look forward to dinner.”

“Umu, dinner should be excellent tonight,”

““I’m going to stuff myself when we get back!””

“”Yay~ Dragonny~~ Turtleee~~””

Looks like everyone’s eager, eh?

“Hmm, how should I cook this…” I must do the standard taste testing before deciding on a menu.

I was immediately shuttled off to the kitchen with everyone’s great expectations for tonight’s dinner. Well, first, let’s take a closer look at the meat. The flesh was white, closer to fish than red mammal meat.

After making a test taste batch, I picked up the piece of meat with my chopsticks hummed thoughtfully to myself, “Come to think of it, the Dragon Turtle looks like of like a creature from earth… yes, it looks a lot like an Alligator Snapping Turtle. [2] My friend had one as a pet and it was pretty vicious, I remembered thinking that it looked kind of like Godzilla… when viewed from a certain angle…

Arrghh, now I’m going to think of this as Godzilla meat, um, it’s fine, it’s fine, Fer and Grandpa Gon said that it’s delicious, so, yeah.

“Hup!”

I threw the piece of meat into my mouth and forced myself to chew slowly. It had… a certain amount of chewiness that was definitely not fish-like, with a surprisingly elegant umami.

How should I describe it?

It has the chewiness of a soft-shelled turtle and the elegant umami of… puffer fish? It definitely doesn’t have the scummy feel of a badly cooked soft-shelled turtle…

So…

“It would probably be delicious as a hotpot, but aren’t we having too many hotpots these days? Ugh, if it isn’t hotpot it’s karaage. I want to make something different with this. Hmm…”

That’s right. There’s that!

Back in my Salaryman Era, I had grilled pufferfish with one of our more eccentric customers. I was surprised to find out that people actually eat pufferfish grilled.

“Let’s see, the sauce should be something like this…” I pulled out garlic, soy sauce, some saké as well as some large plastic bags. “I remember the garlic flavour being pretty mild, so let’s not go overboard with it.”

I turned to look at the Dragon Turtle meat glistening on the cutting board. It looked… really delicious now. That’s right, how often do I get to eat pufferfish- I mean, Dragon Turtle?

After cutting the meat into appropriate sizes, I sprinkled a little saké over it, letting it rest as I prepared the marinade. There was no strong odour from the meat, but a little saké goes a long way in making something delicious~

The marinade was just a simple soy sauce and grated garlic (not too much), which I combined with the saké covered fish- Dragon Turtle meat before putting them into the Ziploc bags. After filling up two large bags, I thought it would be nice to have a different flavour profile and bought Salt Koji [3]. Garlic is nice, but it could get a little intense. An elegant salty flavour from natural seasoning like Salt Koji would further enhance the flavour of the Dragon Turtle meat.

Of course, we can’t just use Salt Koji alone, I made the Salt Koji marinade with plenty of Salt Koji as well as a little grated garlic and grated ginger for a more balanced flavour.

“Right,” I said as I patted the Ziploc bags of meat, “I’m going to start the fire now, so you guys just chill out here, okay?”

Naturally, to charcoal grill something, it’s time for my BBQ stove to shine! This time, I take my time setting up the fire with a fire starter. [1] Fer often got impatient at this point and asked ‘Why don’t you just use a Fireball?’

It’s because I don’t want to damage my stove for one thing. For another, there was no point getting the fire started too soon since the fish- I mean, Dragon Turtle meat needed some time to marinade. In fact, by the time the fire was just right and the net all set up, it was still a little too soon, but from the heads poking up from behind bushes, I don’t think I could drag this out any longer.

“You are grilling it?”

“Grilled… I wonder how it will turn out…”

“”Ou, it’s going to be super fragrant, right? Right?””

“”Sui wants to eat it quickly~~””

“Hold on, I’m going to fetch the meat now, so watch the fire, okay?”

I don’t actually need anyone to watch the fire, but it would give them something to do if I say that. Anyway, I quickly collected the Ziploc bags of meat and returned.

“Right, let’s start grilling!”

“Yay!!”

Since fish meat sometimes sticks onto the grill or falls through the grate, I took extra precautions and placed a net over the grill. As soon as the first piece of meat touched the net, a nice sizzling sound filled the air. The scent of garlic wafted to my nose and I nearly drooled.

[1] A quick glance to the left showed me that the Gluttonous Quartet was already drooling and was staring at the single piece of sizzling meat with shiny eyes. I quickly lined up the Dragon Turtle meat onto the net. Garlic marinade ones on the left and Salt Koji on the right.

Luckily, before too many ‘Is it done yet’, I managed to flip every single piece of meat at least once and was soon filling up bowls with the first batch of the Grilled Dragon Turtle meat.

“Right, it’s done now. Careful, it’s hot. [4]”

[4]

“Umu, not bad.”

“It is very fragrant. Master, may I have some alcohol with it?”

“”It’s my first time trying Dragon Turtle! It’s super delish!!”

“”Mister Turtle is yummy~””

Ah, so Sui has decided that the Dragon Turtle is more turtle than dragon? As for Grandpa Gon’s request, I totally understand why he would want a beer. The smell alone was making me craving for a cold one.

So, I generously emptied two bottles of beer into a deep bowl and handed it to Grandpa Gon.

“Drink in moderation.”

Then, I also got myself some Grilled Dragon Turtle as well as a bottle of beer on the side.

“Woah, this is good! Both are pretty good in their own way. Oh, that’s right, I should get that too.”

‘That’ being a box of good spicy seasoning. Just a tiny pinch will do. The original Grilled Dragon Turtle was already delicious on its own, but adding just a touch of spiciness really-

“Hey, what’s that red powder? Also, I want seconds,”

“Fer! Your face is a little too close! Can’t you smell it? It’s spicy powder, it will make the meat spicy.”

“Spicy? I don’t mind spiciness. Make my seconds spicy.”

“I wish to try the spicy one as well, Master.”

“”Here too!””

“”Sui don’t want spicy… pain…””

That’s right, the word for spicy and pain is the same in Japanese, haha. Well, I got the seconds ready, making sure that Sui’s portion is pain free.

[Gumihou: I worked at a fugu restaurant before! It’s this shop https://www.kichisei.com/ I… washed dishes there… I was scolded a lot too. Haha]

[1] Add details

[2] There was very little segue into ‘snapping turtle’ so I put in a bit more detail. Especially since I deleted some ‘oh wow, I’m getting used to this place aren’t I?’

[3] Salt Koji – natural seasoning that could be used to enhance the umami of a dish

[4] Deleted: Be careful, it has small bones in it.

Gumihou: Bones? In… turtle meat? Moreover, small bones in turtle meat??! Dude, you’re not eating salmon or bass which may have floating pin bones in it, so, please nope.

Video on how to remove pin bones – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0AuP1A9F2U