Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Gumihou: I’m starting to get the impression that Eguchi Ren must know someone like Elland and really, really disliked them.

Also, this is another filler-ish chapter, will do my best to make it interesting.

It had been a few days since Elland-san’s arrival and things were… oddly peaceful.

For the first couple of days, tension was high as we subconsciously braced ourselves against seeing that dragon-maniac Elf pop up out of nowhere.

It was on the third day that I finally managed to convince Grandpa Gon that we would not be seeing That Creature any time soon. At least, not with the level of security around him.

““Food finally tasted good again!”” Dora-chan laughed as he ripped into his breakfast. “”I was so worried about seeing that crazy creature that my stomach’s all knots.””

“Indeed, I could finally taste what I am eating,” said Grandpa Gon.

“That’s good, that’s good,” I murmured over my breakfast coffee. Everyone had eaten well, as usual, thanks to my cooking.

“”Aruji~ where is Uncle Elf?””

“I heard he had been dragged away by the High Elves,” Fer said dismissively.

Sui and Fer were not quite as traumatised by Elland-san, but they were curious at least.

I smirked and said, “Fufufu, do you all want to know? Well…”

I regaled them with the tale of how Jorgen had grabbed Elland-san by the back of his shirt and dragged him away to the newly built Maisonette-style house that he shared with the other High Elves.

Apparently, Elland-san spent the first night being lectured by Jorgen and Adela. Every time he tried to fight back, he suffered a ‘bonk!’ to the head and even more lectures. By the way, when I said ‘the first night’, I meant that Jorgen and Adela spent the entire night lecturing Elland-san. Apparently, they only stopped when the sun peeped out from behind the hills.

“We had no choice but to stop educating that fellow at this point since we need to go and work. Naturally, since it is my nephew who caused you all of this trouble, it is only right for him to make amends. Which was why I will bring him with me to the Adventurer’s Guild for some dismantling work.”

In short, the High Elves had taken it upon themselves to offer Elland-san’s services as one of the best ways to atone for his sins.

“Hold on, did you really lecture him all night? Is he supposed to work right away? Now? Isn’t that… kind of dangerous?”

I felt worried because Elland-san looked a little out of it with his messy hair and the dark shadows under his eyes. What if he did a bad job at the guild?

“Eh, one night of no sleep won’t kill him.”

“I guess?”

Since Jorgen appeared confident, I did not pursue the matter. Well, I did drop by the Guild a few days later to check on the situation and encountered a very cheerful Johan-san.

“Thanks to these guys, I’m able to go home early these days and see my son. Hehe, thanks for bringing in the professionals, Mukouda-san!”

For those who wish to know, Johan has a five-year-old son. He acts like a total idiot parent whenever he talks about his little boy, but that is neither here nor there.

To me, the most important bit was that after Elland came back from his dismantling work at the Guild, he remained under the strict supervision of Jorgen and the other High Elves. Apparently, he was subjected to heartfelt lectures from High Elves who were grateful to me for giving them good food in exchange for their labour.

The lectures went on and on from the moment they left the Guild to the moment they shut him in inside a designated bedroom.

“Hey, so, um, I heard that he’s really good at getting out of, um, tight places?” I said. Moira-sama must have done her best to keep Elland-san in check multiple times, but that former S Ranker had managed to get out of her supervision on more than one occasion…

“Heh, the doors and windows have all been blocked by barriers. Let me tell you now, barriers made by High Elves are no joke. Not even tiny insects could get in or out of the place.”

“Heh, sounds like an overkill, but I do not dislike it.”

“”Uncle Elf in trouble?””

“Humph, that’s what you get for being such a leech,” Grandpa Gon sneered.

“”Kukuku, nothing of this sort would happen if that creature had not insisted on bothering us.””

“Ahem, it’s not nice to laugh at other people’s misfortune. Heh.”

“Try and say that without sniggering,” Fer said with a sneer.

“”Ahhhh~~ I feel so refreshed! This is so awesome~~! This calls for a celebration! How about a party, Master?””

“A party? Is it like a drinking party?” Grandpa Gon asked hopefully.

“”Eating party~! Eating party~!””

“Oho, if it’s an eating party, I’m all for it,” said Fer. “It must be a super meat-filled meal!”

“If Master may permit, how about some dragon meat? Perhaps some beer too? Or even… whisky?” said Grandpa Gon with a hopeful glance in my direction.

I looked at them and said, “A meat-filled meal? Aren’t all your meals meat-filled enough?”

“I want a meat-filled meal without a single piece of leaf or root,” Fer declared.

“I don’t mind that either,” said Grandpa Gon.

“”Yeah! Yeah! Let’s go with that!””

I glared at them, “So, in other words, you want a meat-only meal?”

“”Meat only meal~~ yummy~~””

“Oh, well, if Sui wants some meat-only meal, why not~?” I cried as I squished her lovely cool cheeks.

“Tch, favouritism.”

““Eh, I’m fine with it. So long as we get us some dragon meat.””

“Fufu, I’m the same.”

Ignoring rest, I marched over to the kitchen, ready to do some serious cooking.

In the kitchen, I contemplated the menu for tonight. “A meat-only meal that goes well with alcohol, hm? Let’s see…”

When it comes to meat-only meals, the first thing that comes to mind is steak. There’s nothing as meaty as steaks, but it’s a little difficult to enjoy steaks with beer. Then again, maybe not so much for dragons…

Ah, I’ll be making it for myself as well, so let’s rethink the steak idea.

Umu, umu, even if it’s steak, how about something a little non-traditional?

“Diced Steaks? As for the sauce… Garlic Butter and Soy Sauce is the best favourite when it comes to beer, but it could get quite heavy. Something refreshing would be nice too. However, since Fer and Co, doesn’t want any vegetables, something like Ponzu Sauce with Grated Radish would be grate, I mean, great!”

After getting everything I needed from [Net Super], it was time to start cooking.

First the meat.

“Since Grandpa Gon and the rest wanted dragon meat, let’s bring it out. Especially since we have plenty of Green Dragon meat.”

I diced up the Green Dragon steaks that I had prepared, sprinkled some salt and pepper on them and set them aside.

To make the Garlic Butter and Soy Sauce, I first heat some oil on a frying pan and sprinkle in plenty of sliced garlic. Once these garlic slices and turned into garlic chips, I take them out and sprinkle in some chopped garlic. This way, I get extra garlic flavour from the oil and have garlic chips as a nice garnish.

When the chopped garlic becomes aromatic, toss in the diced dragon meat and brown them. Once nicely seared, remove from the oil and set aside.

In the same pan, add some salted butter. Once the salted butter starts bubbling, add the soy sauce and turn off the fire. And… that’s it. The Garlic Butter Soy Sauce is done. Now, all I have to do is pour the sauce over the diced meat and sprinkle some garlic chips on top as garnish.

Next was the Grated Radish and Ponzu Sauce.

Since I have the Grated Radish and Ponzu Sauce in a bottle, there is no need to go through the trouble of having to actually grate the radish or figure out the best ratio for the ponzu to soy sauce and radish. All I had to do was pour this sauce into the pan after having fried the diced meat and that was it.

Oh, the garnish for Grated Radish and Ponzu would be, hmm, chopped green onions! Can’t go wrong with traditional garnishes, hehe. Ah, I’m a genius~

“Let’s give these a taste, eh?” I picked up a piece of the diced, Ponzu and Grated Radish sauce topped with green onions up to admire it for a moment. I was about to pop this delicious bit of morsel into my mouth when-

“Oi!”

““Hey!””

“Master, this is…”

“”Unfair~!””

“Tch,” I turned around to see all of my familiars gathered at the kitchen entrance. “What is it now? Can’t you tell that taste testing is part of the cooking process?”

“How dare you click your tongue at us!” Fer roared.

The other three all looked belligerent as well. “Haahhh… whatever, since I’m done cooking, you can have dinner now.”

In the dining room, I placed two plates/bowls of the diced steaks in two different flavours before each of my familiars.

“Right, the one with the brown chips is Garlic Butter and Soy Sauce flavoured diced steaks, and the one with the green onions is diced steaks with Grated Radish and Ponzu sauce. Go ahead and enjoy them.”

Everyone’s eyes were practically sparkling and all of them went for the Garlic one first. I guess the stronger, more savoury fragrance is irresistible to carnivores.

Naturally, Fer did not forget to say, “Mu, what’s with these green things…”

Since it was expected, I just ignored him.

““Delish!!””

“Umu, Master! If I could trouble you for some beer, please…”

“But of course!” I said and immediately produced a keg of beer. “Here, you can open it yourself.”

A quick Wind Magic slice later, the top was lopped off and Grandpa Gon started chugging from the keg as though it was a super large mug.

“Another!”

“… …” well, I had expected this and got the ‘regular size’ keg instead of the large size ones. “Oi, drink in moderation, you hear?”

That said, I poured myself a mug of beer in my ‘self-chilling mug’ and took a nice refreshing gulp before helping myself to the diced steaks.

“Haahhh~~ it’s times like this that I’m so grateful for [Net Super]~”

“Oi, seconds!”

“More beer please.”

“”Meaty~ meaty~!””

“”Hear, hear!!””

Ah, well, time to feed my hungry familiars.

[Gumihou: Redid the cooking bit to make it more comprehensible and interesting (hopefully)]