Villain Retirement-Novel

"You know, your breasts—"

"Can you guys just stop talking about my breasts already!?"

"What's… got you so riled up? Maybe let off ssteam."

"5 people, dead!"

"People die every day, it's normal."

"They are not supposed to!"

Esme, Miss Pepondosovich, and Liza were once again outside waiting for customers to approach their restaurant. Liza, however, could not concentrate at all as the horrific news of 5 people passing reached their ears. She had really only moved on from the old man that she couldn't save, and now 5 more people are dead in the span of a month.

For hundreds of years, they forced—no. They voluntarily indoctrinated themselves into treasuring life, almost to the point of obsession.

"We're just watching ourselves dwindle, Miss Pepondosovich," Liza shook her head and sighed, "There's no one after us; this is it, we are the last of us. Soon, there wouldn't be any humans left."

"Hm," Miss Pepondosovich only let out a small hum, "You will get used to it."

"How!?"

"Life," Miss Pepondosovich sighed as she patted Liza's leg, "Trust me, I've been the last of my kind for hundreds of thousands of years — I got used to it."

"Miss… Pepondosovich," a small smile crawled on Liza's face as she heard the gentleness in Miss Pepondosovic's tone. Soon, however, that smile faded almost instantly, "Wait… did you just say hundreds of thousands of years?"

"Yes," Miss Pepondosovich once again let out a sigh as she looked at the sky, "I don't even wonder anymore what it would be like if they were still alive. But it doesn't matter anymore, you will always meet new people. And heads up, we have customers incoming."

Liza smiled again, only for her smile to also quickly disappear once more as she saw who their customer was — Detective Jake. This time, however, he was with a different woman.

"What are you doing back—"

"Mister Jake, back so soon, I see?" Miss Pepondosovich did not let Liza finish her words as she stepped forward to welcthe two, "And with an even more beautiful woman this time, no?"

"Oh my…" The woman who Jake was with could not help but cover her mouth as she heard Miss Pepondosovich's words, "...Thank you. But, are you sure this is really a restaurant, honey?"

"The three of you are still standing outside like this?" Jake commented as he looked at the three ladies of completely different sizes, "Don't worry, this is a restaurant — the staff are just… ridiculously good-looking. Wait 'til you see the owner."

"Sir, Miss…" Ecurtsied before gesturing to Jake and his female companion, "...I'll bring you to your table."

"Oh, please — Mrs., I am married to this idiot," Jake's wife let out a giggle; slapping Jake on the shoulder before they proceeded to follow Einside the restaurant. As for Liza and Miss Pepondosovich, they could really only look at each other and finally reach a common understanding.

Perhaps the reason why they were not receiving customers at all… was that they really looked like they were a different kind of establishment.

"We…

…probably shouldn't stand outside anymore."

***

"Mr. Jake, was it only yesterday that you were here?"

"I… couldn't wait for the missus to try out the food here. Honey, he's the owner I was talking to you about."

"Madam."

Riley bowed his head as he greeted Jake and his wife at their table,

"Miss Esaid you were having a hard tchoosing what to order?"

"I'll have whatever you recommend," Jake chuckled, "As for her, well—"

"I don't eat meat," Jake's wife let out a sigh as she shook her head.

"That is no problem at all, Madam," Riley just smiled; his eyes, however, were very subtly twitching at her words, "I'll prepare something for you personally that you would surely enjoy. For now, I'll have them bring in the wine you ordered."

"Wine…?" Jake's wife turned to look at him, "What's the occasion?"

"Is it that strange for a husband to treat his wife once in a while?" Jake only laughed while waving his hand, "And their wine really goes well with the steak, it's really good — I promise you."

"You've already seen the price on the menu."

"Yes, and it surprised'coz I expected the price to cost an arm and a leg… but are you sure there are no hidden charges or something?"

"No, okay?" Jake sighed as he held his wife's hand, "This place is cool. It's like the MSG of restaurants."

"Wh—Don't say that, what if they hear you?"

"I mean that as a compliment, that's how good the food is here. Look, here comes the wine and bread."

"Detective Jake, Ma'am," Liza was the one who served them their bread and wine, "Gluten and dairy-free bread."

"Oh my, thank you…" Jake's wife smiled as she immediately grabbed a piece of bread and dipped it on the sauce they gave her; her mouth quickly locking up as soon as the taste touched her tongue — it was almost as if someone just tickled her entire body in the span of a single second,

"What's… in this sauce?"

"Honey, you can't just ask them what their secret sauce is," Jake could not help but chuckle as he poured the wine himself and he looked at Liza, "By the way, have you guys heard of what happened in Chinatown?"

"Jake, why are you discussing work with this gorgeous lady?" Jake's wife quickly reprimanded him.

"What else are we going to do while we wait for our food?" Jake waved his hand, "And Miss Liza here also previously worked in security before they opened up this place."

"Oh my…" Jake's wife jumped at the opportunity for gossip, "...Then are you and the owner together?"

"That…"

"Liezl, why are you asking her that…? That's personal," Jake waved his hand, "Anyway, you know the people that died? They were the guys who made trouble here."

"What…?" Liza almost sat with them at their table as soon as she heard that, "What happened?"

"They fucked around and found out, that's what happened," Jake once again let out a small chuckle before his wife, Liezl, slapped him on the wrist, "Anyway, since they were killed in an alley, they might have bumped into someone there and messed with the wrong person — you never know these days; the aliens look like humans too."

"Jake."

"Fine, I'll stop, I'll stop," Jake raised both his hands in surrender.

"I'll leave the two of you alone, then…" Liza then smiled as she nodded her head; her thoughts, now even more filled with the news they received, "...Please, just call any of us when you want something."

Jake and his wife continued to chat and laugh with each other, until their chatter was replaced with gasps of amazement as Estarted bringing out their food.

"Cosmic lobster, slathered with baked and melted garlic, drowned in smoked, herbed, and salted tallow from an unnamed type of cow," Estated as she placed Jake's plate in front of Jake, "As for the Madam, a new menu by Master — New Theran Salad; greens harvested from New Theran mixed with one of the restaurant's secret sauces."

"This…" Both Jake and Liezl could not help but almost lean away from the table as their food looked like they were literally glowing.

"Honey…" Liezl gulped, "Are… are you sure we can afford this? I think… I've heard sabsurd things with what that tall lady just said."

"It's… it's fine, I'll take more hours…

…just eat."

And they did just that, with Jake's wife just grabbing her cheeks from tto twith how flavorful and tasty her salad was. As for Jake, his vision was starting to blur and fade from how dangerously sinful the taste of his food was — every bite was almost sending him to death. And perhaps it was.

And after they were done, the two just stared at their empty table; they had already paid, and that was part of the disbelief they were currently experiencing. Was the food they ate really only worth that much?

It felt like they were breaking the law for only paying that much for experiencing ecstasy.

"Master Zero," Jake's wife stood up from her seat as she looked Riley in the eyes, "I promise you…

…I'll bring my friends here."

***

"Suarez, I've been doing sdigging."

"Uh oh, that can never be good."

A day after Jake almost died in Riley's restaurant, he was now back in the station; with Dorothy sliding close to him with her chair,

"You know our friend in the restaurant? Turns out he's a Class 7 Above."

"...Really?" Jake just blinked a couple of times before shrugging, "That explains all the money, then. If I was a Class 7 and I'm still poor hundreds of years later? I would just kill myself."

"You—Suarez, this is serious. Listen. He—"

"No. I know what you're getting at, no," Jake shook his head before staring Dorothy in the eyes, "Why would a Class 7 even bother with a couple of weak humans? Con, we already have a cool friend who owns a restaurant and is a Class 7 Above, don't ruin it…

…and my wife likes him."

"Wife…?" Dorothy completely left her desk; rolling her chair straight toward Jake's, "Leslie? When did you take her?"

"Yesterday," Jake shrugged, "I swear, Partner — the food there? My god… my wife and I had so much sex last night that I swear I got her pregnant, even though we all know that's impossible these days."

"Wait…" Dorothy raised an eyebrow in disgust and betrayal, "...You went there without inviting me? I wanted to eat there too!"

"Why would I invite you?" Jake scoffed, "You don't even have a date, that will be awkward. You do know you're not getting any younger, right? You were like what… 37 before all this shit happened?"

"40, and I'm also not getting any older," Dorothy rolled her eyes.

"Hm, I don't know about that," Jake let out a small hum as he squinted his eyes and pointed at Dorothy's head,

"I see a white hair there."

"...Right," Dorothy scoffed.

"No, seriously…" The teasing smile on Jake's face very slowly faded away as he stood up from his desk; his finger that was pointing at Dorothy's hair, slightly trembling,

"...I see a white hair."

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